Boogie Chillen
May 2-3, 2005


(Monday & Tuesday)


After all these years, and all the assaults and catfights that take place there, why does the Valley Inn Ladies Room STILL have a deadbolt on it? What am I saying? You have to wonder about an upscale hotel that puts deadbolts on bathroom doors, but anyone can walk into any of the ROOMS any time they want with little or no effort.

Ethan is SUCH a one-track slimeball! Maria's moping about hurting everyone and all he can say is that ZACH deserves to be hurt and that he'll help her get back at him in any capacity she wants. What an ASSHOLE!

JAR tells Kendall he just wants her to have fun -- with HIM. He says it with all the affectionate, fun-loving, seductive warmth of a dead bullfrog. PTUI! I kept wishing Kendall would tell him that she would much rather stay at home with a vibrator and box of chocolates.

Maria is supposed to be a famous neurosurgeon. She can support her two kids just fine on her salary. She could not keep up the maintenance of Wildwind, but who says they still have to live there? The kids? Tough shit -- they're still kids and don't have a say in the matter. Everyone is acting as if Edmund was the sole parent and can dictate their lives from the grave when, in reality, all he did was leave an estate to his minor children. If Maria doesn't want Brooke constantly butting in over finances, then she should take the kids, find a cozy tract house somewhere and pay for everything HERSELF -- Brooke can handle the finances of tuition, a monthly child support check and the upkeep of Wildwind until the kids reach adulthood, and Maria can take care of the rest.

Like father, like son -- Adam and JAR line up upset women in their sights and immediately move in for the kill.

SPOILER SPACE FOR TUESDAY'S SHOW

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JAR and Kendall making out leaves me COMPLETELY cold. Kendall breaks off their kissing and says they've definitely established the temptation factor. Temptation factor? UGH! I'd be more tempted by making out with an old shoe than with JAR! I just flat out don't see it.

Whatever happened to the SMART Simone who debuted as an investigative journalist? She just "accidentally" lets it drop that Kendall went home with JAR. Whatever brains she had were totally totally fried when she fell in love with Mateo. They may have patterned her transformed character after the sex-obsessed Samantha on Sex And The City, but at least Samantha was intelligent. Simone is just a cartoon. Oh well, at least she's finally stopped moaning like she's ramping up to an orgasm every time she sees a man. Of course, it may be that Kendall ARRANGED for Simone to let it drop that Kendall had gone home with JAR and made SURE that Winifred let Ethan know that they had "retired for the evening". After all, Winifred is generally more discreet than that (although she DOES get flustered sometimes).

Robin "Happy Birthday Bruce!" Coutellier



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