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[On Saturday, 2/12/05, Soapnet played a marathon of vintage AMC episodes (and one REALLY recent one which doesn't really count). The third episode (from 1979) was a classic where Tom Cudahy, a staunch Catholic, discovers that his wife, Erica, has been taking birth control pills. This is a detailed update of the episode, or at least all the parts pertaining to Tom and Erica and the fallout.]
Vidcaps (denoted by "+") and/or sound files (denoted by "#") can be found at:
http://www.robinc.org/tom_erica_bc.html Vidcaps for other episodes in the I Love Lucci marathon can be found at:
http://www.robinc.org/i_love_lucci_vidcaps.html
DR. TYLER'S OFFICE
Mona and Dr. Charles Tyler discuss the fact that Mona has been unable to reach Erica, despite calling all over town [remember, this was before cell phones]. They deduce that she doesn't yet KNOW that Tom suspects she may be using some form of birth control. Mona is afraid it may be too late now.
TOM'S OFFICE
Erica is trying to make a phone call, but Tom dramatically presses down the switchhook and hangs up the phone. He's dressed in a black 3-piece suit with a really wide, (but loosely tied) maroon tie -- his top button is undone under the tie. He's also leaning on a cane on his left side [the way he moves in this episode makes me think that it's possible Tom Shoberg had a real injury -- also, his cane/limp is never actually mentioned in this episode, which is another clue]. Erica is dressed in a royal blue outfit, with BIG ruffles in the front, with a thick matching coat and a scarf hanging down both sides [this rather bulky outfit was necessary because, in real life, Susan Lucci was pregnant with her son, Andreas, at the time -- I'm guessing she was about 6 months along]. Erica, whose voice is quite a bit higher then than it is nowadays, is perplexed. She was TRYING to talk to her mother -- what's the MATTER with him? In a low voice, Tom says: "Oh, there's PLENTY the matter with me." She wants him to wait until she calls her mother to get her off her back. He loudly says there's no NEED to call her mother -- he KNOWS why her mother's been trying to reach her, but it's a little bit late for her to come to Erica's rescue. Erica is still perplexed. [Maybe it's just me, but Tom seems a little irked about something.] Tom: "I am talking about the fact that she is obviously trying to warn you that I am on to your GAME, Erica; but it's too late because I already KNOW that you've been on the PILL!" Erica's eyes move off to her left, then down and then back up to look at him again -- it wasn't so much a guilty look or even an "Oops!" look -- it was more of a "think fast" look. Looking quite sincere (but just a tiny bit trapped), Erica says: "On the pill? Tom, where did you ever HEAR a thing like that?" Tom cocks his head a little and his eyes get not so much bigger as "taller" as he challenges: "It isn't true?" Erica deflects with: "I'm ASKING you where you HEARD that." Tom's eyes DO get bigger for a moment as he starts to lose a little of the iron grip he has had on his emotions as he loudly says: "Erica, I am not a **TOTAL** FOOL!" +# He blinks and even tips to the side on his bum leg for a moment in an effort to regain his composure, which he does. He quietly says that he KNEW something was wrong. Erica takes a quick breath of assessment. She looks down as she walks behind him and waves her arms around for emphasis (to NO ONE since she is now out of his line of sight) as she says: "Oh, *I* see -- so you jumped immediately to THAT conclusion!" [How does she know he jumped to a conclusion if he hasn't said anything to her BUT the conclusion (so far)?] Tom painfully limps around to face her ... back ... and says he happened to run into Dr. Clader that morning at the hospital. Erica whips around to face him again. Surprised, she asks if Dr. Clader was the one who told him that. He asks if she's going to listen or interrupt [silly question if you know ERICA]. She pauses to process this new bit of information, licks her lips in preparation for the next offense and asks what Dr. Clader said. Tom says Dr. Clader was very surprised when Tom told him how disappointed he and Erica were that they hadn't been able to conceive yet. Erica's eyes widen slightly as she takes a slow but shallow breath of dread -- uh oh. Tom says that, when questioned, Dr. Clader became evasive and made excuses to leave. Erica, still assessing her options and deciding she has the upper hand, asks what THAT proves. Tom warns her to let him finish -- it wasn't so much WHAT Dr. Clader said, but how he said it, so Tom went to see Mona. Erica is OUTRAGED: "MY MOTHER!!" She can't BELIEVE he DID that! Tom says Erica's brother, Mark, happened to be in Mona's office. Erica exhales derisively and turns to the side, putting her hand to the bridge of her nose as if she has a headache. Her mouth is still hanging open as she looks up at Tom again (Tom is pretty tall and Erica is, of course, quite petite). Tom had asked them if they knew of any reason why Erica couldn't get pregnant, and their reaction was even stranger than Dr. Clader's, and THAT'S when he began to suspect the TRUTH.
Erica is in a huff a she brushes past him to talk behind his back again as she exclaims: "How DARE you talk about our personal life to my MOTHER and my brother!!! And how dare THEY interfere in something that is none of their BUSINESS!!" She REALLY looks quite vicious in her anger + as she jabs the air for emphasis. Once again, Tom has to limp around to face her (but her back is still turned to him. Tom yells to her back that they did NOT interfere -- then quietly says that it was far from it -- they did everything they could to protect HER. She looks up at the sky in a mute plea to the powers that be that her display of indignation was enough to throw him off the track, then pouts. Erica whips around and mocks: "Protect ME?" She protests that she hasn't DONE anything! He quietly asks her to then tell him WHY she hasn't gotten pregnant. She frowns and looks like a little girl lost and innocently shrugs, prettily saying it doesn't mean that she doesn't WANT to. Not to be put off, Tom presses her, asking why, then, did her brother tell him to ask HER that question? Significantly subduing her indignation, but still showing it, she again deflects and accuses Tom of taking MARK's word over HERS.
Tom once again loses his grip slightly as his voice rises and he quite firmly keeps it right on topic and, blinking rapidly, says he is ASKING her a QUESTION! He's breathing a little harder now. Tom, carefully enunciating each word, says: "ARE you taking birth control pills or ARE you NOT?" She takes a deep breath and whips around again, this time walking around the desk, and faces him again, pressing her lips together and righteously declaring that she's NOT going to be pinned against the WALL by HIM. She licks her lips again, frantically searching the floor for an escape hatch. Like a prosecuting attorney, he tells her it's a simple question, YES or NO. Erica puts her hands up in a gesture of superior futility and dismissively says: "I am NOT going to be inTIMidated by MY mother and my brother." [Huh? I don't see THEM in the room with rubber hoses] He calmly says no one is intimidating her.
She looks all over the desk, looks up at him briefly, then appears to get a new idea, making her stand slightly taller as she goes on the offense, clearly thinking "Well, then, lets try THIS tactic" as she says: "What PROOF do they have for these accuSAtions?" She tosses her hair again (she's been tossing it a LOT) and walks back around the desk and behind him again [maybe she plans on just plain wearing him out by constantly making him have to limp as he turns around to see her again] He limps around yet again and states that no one is accusing her of anything -- he's asking her a question and waiting for an answer. She faces him squarely and accuses him of thinking he already knows the answer. Grasping for a magical answer, he earnestly asks if he's WRONG. Erica pounces on this momentary show of weakness and hisses: "You SSSSSEEEEE? You will believe EVERYone except your WIFE!" He raises his voice slightly and says he's waiting for an answer from his WIFE. She bounces up a down a little like she has to pee. Then, martyred and indignant, she haughtily says she won't dignify that question with an answer! + Hmmmph! She whips around to defiantly show him her back. He can't see it, but she's looking VERY worried now +, her eyes looking up and darting back and forth. Tom goes cold as he states that she can't even tell the truth NOW, can she?
Erica turns to face him again (sparing him the long walk around to face her again) and turns on the sweet, innocent little girl persona and stepping toward him as she mews that she wants a baby as much as HE does! She looks up at him, hope and sincerity oozing out of her pores. Tom fumbles in his pocket, finally pulling out a pack of birth control pills and grits out: "Then WHY ... are you taking ... THESE?"
She looks up at him with an "uh oh" on her face, looks down at the proffered pills + and asks where he got them. Ramping up, he says he found them in the back of HER dresser drawer! Outraged, she exclaims: "You had the NERVE to go snooping in **MY** THINGS?!" Tom finally loses it as he gutturally yells: "I HAD to because it seems to be the ONLY way to get the TRUTH out of you!!!!" +#
After a commercial break, Tom is remarkably calmed down (he's SO calm that they must have taped this segment the next DAY). He asks Erica if she's still going to deny it. She trounces around him and keeps her back to him, forcing him, yet again, to limp around to see her back. She exclaims: "I just don't BELIEVE that you have the NERVE to go snooping in MY things like some kind of a ... Sneak **THIEF**!! With her back still turned, she slowly exhales and looks up and around vaguely, clearly tiring of constantly having to keep fending off his questions. Very hurt, Tom says: "To think that you could LIE to me about something like THIS!" She snaps that she HAD to! He raises his voice, but is still very hurt as he jabs at the air with his free hand and says there is NO * GOOD * REASON * to lie about having a BABY! + She whips back to face him and with fire in her eyes, defiantly insists that she HAD to -- he was SOOO insistent! His eyes are slightly bugged now as he dazedly says: "And You... so willing." His hand wobbles on the cane. She FINALLY has the decency to look abashed, + covers the bridge of her nose again, and then tries to mollify him, saying that she hasn't taken them for a long time. Tom: "Oh, come on!" She looks totally honest and genuine as she insists that she really hasn't -- she just STARTED going on them because of the disco [Erica got Tom to buy her a disco to run]. Tom grits his teeth and asks: "The DISCO?". His eyes bug out in what I like to call "the stare". + She explains that she can't get pregnant NOW -- she just wants to get the place off the ground. On a roll now, he takes the pills out again and asks her to TELL him WHY, then, there are only FIVE pills left in the whole container? She shrugs helplessly several times and (to her) logically protests that there are only 28 pills in the whole pack to begin with. With an air of "Ah HAH!", he points out that that means she has been on them for AT LEAST 23 days and there's no telling HOW many containers she used before THIS one! His limp is so pronounced I'm surprised he doesn't tip over as, for once, HE walks away from and behind HER, forcing HER to turn around to face HIM. She earnestly protests that it's not true and she only had just that ONE container. Getting physical, Tom POUNDS the desk like an angry chimpanzee, punctuating each word with a slam as he grits out: "WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT **MAKE** [POUND] WHEN [POUND] YOU WENT [POUND] OFF THEM [POUND] OR [POUND] ON THEM???" [POUND] Blinking hard and looking SERIOUSLY hurt, his voice gets raspy as he says: "You LIED to me! You told me all along you wanted to have a BABY, and all the time these were stuck in the back of your drawer." Looking abashed and a little afraid now, + she meekly says she was going to go off them. He huskily says it's too late, because he doesn't care if she CHOKES on those pills.
Erica looks grimly surprised and tells him not to say that. He's actually shaking when he reminds her that he had TOLD her after her disco deceit that if she lied to him ONE MORE TIME, that that would be the END of their marriage. She leans forward and points out that she DIDN'T lie to him. He says she lied to him EVERY time she took one of those pills. She is perplexed and says he CAN'T mean it's the end of their MARRIAGE! She happily promises that she'll go off the pills RIGHT NOW! He tells her she's not listening -- he doesn't CARE what she does now -- their marriage is FINISHED. + [At one point in the vidcap of this moment Tom looks like he's on the very cusp of morphing into a werewolf :-)] Erica looks stunned and says he CAN'T mean that! He DOES mean it -- he wants her OUT of his apartment -- TONIGHT! He again pounds on the desk and his face contorts freakishly for emphasis to make sure she understands. +# She's shocked -- he seems UPSET and actually seems to be SERIOUS! He says it's HIS apartment and HIS furniture, not HERS! She can't BELIEVE he's going to throw her out of her own HOME! He yells that it's HIS home and it was HIS home before he ever MET her, and he won't be INCONVENIENCED! She takes a fortifying breath and says SHE won't be, EITHER -- she's his WIFE! Tom: "*YOU* have destroyed our marriage, and *YOU* will be the one to move out!" She reminds him that she JUST SAID that she would go OFF the pills -- right NOW! In a steely voice, he reminds HER that he just told her he doesn't CARE! As he limps across the office (making HER turn around again), he orders her to go home and pack her bags -- if her stuff isn't out of the apartment by tonight, he'll throw all her stuff out on the street! She steps over to him and begs him not to do this to her -- they can work it out! He says there's nothing left to work out -- she called the shots and she's getting JUST what she asked for."
Erica, looking bewildered, conjures images of Scarlett O'Hara as she says: "But where will I go?" Tom, responding in kind as Rhett, says: "Frankly, I don't give a DAAAMN." He glares at her with a clenched jaw and limps out the door, slamming it behind him. Erica, winces and seems at a loss as to what to do.
MONA'S OFFICE
Mona is busy tap-tap-tapping away on her electric typewriter. when Erica STORMS in and yells at her: "How DARE you, MOTHER!!" Mona is shocked and nearly jumps out of her chair as she exclaims: "ERICA!?" Erica leans over the desk and demands to know WHEN Mona is going to learn to keep her NOSE out of her private LIFE! Mona asks what happened. Erica (sounding a lot more like the Erica of today) sneers: "What do you THINK happened after you and Mark told Tom about the BIRTH CONTROL PILLS?!" Mona stands up, literally and figuratively and stoutly denies it, saying that she and Mark spent the ENTIRE MORNING looking for her to try to WARN her. Erica says that maybe Mona didn't come out and say it, but she might as WELL have! Mona calmly tells her to calm down and just TELL her what happened. Erica flatly states that Tom threw her out. With just a touch of a wail in her voice, she says that he never wants to SEE her again! Mona: "Oh, no." Erica: "Oh, YES! And it is all YOUR fault! Yours and my brother Mark's. You two BIG MOUTHS! You RUINED my life!" Mona righteously protests that it's not true -- they said nothing and practically knew when he walked INTO the office! Erica turns and walks in a half circle, then turns to face her mother again. Erica demands to know why they didn't LIE to him and tell him it wasn't TRUE? Scrambling, Mona said that they had no IDEA what Dr. Clader had said. Erica moves up close to Mona's face and storms that Mona didn't even TRY to help her out, and now she doesn't have a husband or even a HOME to go to! Mona poopoos the notion, saying she's SURE Tom didn't mean it like THAT. Erica rants that he told her to go home and pack or he'd put her things on the STREET! Mona: "Well, couldn't you think of ANYTHING to say?" [Is she kidding? Doesn't she know to whom she is speaking?] Erica pouts and plaintively says he wouldn't BELIEVE her -- he said he would never believe her AGAIN. She shakes her head in disbelief and drops to a chair, having temporarily run out of steam. She says her marriage is just over. She sits there looking pitiful. Mona sighs and says: "Oh, Honey ..." She doesn't know what to say. Erica perks up again and demands that Mona go over there and change his mind. Mona is aghast -- she can't do THAT. She recommends that Erica give Tom a little time. Erica blasts her, saying he will NOT cool down, and waiting is just going to make things worse! Mona says he wouldn't even LISTEN to her! Erica leans forward and whines: "Can't you even TRY to help me?!" There are actually tears glistening in her eyes. She sits back and turns to the side, wailing that Mona doesn't even CARE what happens to her! Mona jumps up and says of COURSE she cares! She walks around her desk and crouches down next to Erica, asking, for heaven's sake, why she spent the entire morning desperately trying to FIND her? In order to WARN her! Erica, meanwhile, is plotting her next move. She again orders Mona to just GO to Tom before it is too LATE! She insists SOMEBODY has got to go talk some sense into Tom before he does something DRASTIC -- like go to a lawyer for a separation agreement or ... DIVORCE! Mona stands and rubs Erica's shoulder, reassuring her that Tom would never do anything as rash as THAT! Erica looks crestfallen and shakes her head, saying that Mona didn't SEE him -- she doesn't know how ANGRY he is at her. She BEGS (using the PLEASE word) her to go to Tom and tell him it was all a TERRIBLE mistake. Erica wails: "He can't LEAVE ME, Mother, he CAN'T!!!" Mona says she can't interfere -- it's not her place. Erica begs again and says that if she loves her at ALL, she'll HELP her! She CAN'T LOSE HIM!!! She wails: "Please, Mother! PLEASE, go to Tom! I have no LIFE without him! I will KILL myself if I lose him!!!" Mona hugs her.
After some other scenes, Erica is sitting in Dr. Tyler's office and he's lecturing her. Dr. Tyler: "It's not fair to YOU, my dear, to use your mother's LOVE this WAY! It's high time you started to solve your OWN problems!" Erica is insulted at his tone and says that she had every right to ask her mother to intercede for her. After all, if it hadn't been for her mother, she wouldn't be in this MESS! Dr. Tyler grimly shakes his head as he says: "I don't believe that for a minute! YOU were the one using the pill and then lying to your husband about it!" Erica is aghast that her mother would TELL him that! He frankly says that they have no secrets from each other. Erica pops up and says her mother had no RIGHT to talk to him about something like that! Dr. Tyler: "Well, whom else would she talk to?" She glares at him and pronounces that it's just another EXAMPLE of her mother's CONSTANT interference into her private affairs. He shrewdly looks at her and asks if she calls what Mona is doing NOW "interfering". Erica rocks back and forth slightly as she says: "I call it the very LEAST she could DO under the circumstances after she broke a confidence to my HUSBAND!" Dr. Tyler bends down slightly looking flummoxed at Erica's skewed version of things and says: "Broke a CONFIDENCE? Erica, your mother was FRANTICALLY trying to reach you ALL morning to warn you about Tom's suspicions!" Oh, PLEASE, Dr. Tyler -- if my mother had REALLY wanted to reach me, she COULD have." Dr. Tyler gruffly says: "Well, I'm sorry it's happened, anyway, and I hope your mother can do some go for you." He gives her a stern look.
TOM'S OFFICE
Tom is sitting in front of his desk staring off into space and looking pretty shell-shocked. Mona walks up and apologizes, saying she can't help but feel that she's partly responsible. Still staring off, he says that's foolish and that she's not responsible. Mona shakes her head and firmly says that she KNEW what Erica was doing and should have told him. Tom finally looks up at her and bleakly says that it wasn't her place to tell him. They stare at each other for a few moments. She looks down and says she wishes she could persuade him to find it in his heart to FORGIVE her and give his marriage another chance. Tom gets up and limps across the room, showing his back to her. He says he's given his marriage all the chance he's going to give it. Mona says Erica is VERY sorry and would do ANYTHING to make it up to him. He turns back to her and earnestly says that it's too late -- he's taken all the LIES he can take. Mona says Erica didn't MEAN them as LIES. He says he KNOWS what she MEANT -- she MEANT to keep him quiet and to placate him so she could go on doing her own thing. He was just an EXCUSE for Erica -- someone where she could tack a "Mrs." in front of her name. Mona says that's not true -- Erica loves him VERY much. Tom stares at her and seems to gather an inner core of strength, quietly saying: "... In her fashion ..." He gulps. Mona insists that Erica truly DOES love him and that she had asked her to BEG him to forgive her. Tom doesn't want to upset Mona, but he's firm about it being too late. Tom: "If I take Erica back now, I would lose every OUNCE of self-respect that I have left." Mona seems to understand. she asks: "Do you LOVE her, Tom?" Tom seems to blink back tears as he says: "I--I don't know how I feel about Erica now." He limps across the room again and his voice goes up an octave as he says: "I only know that I can't TAKE any more. She has DECEIVD me since before we were married! Her phony desire to want to become a Catholic, and the number she pulled with the annulment with Jeff -- everything was supposed to be ok, NO PROBLEM! You KNOW what a mess that was!" Mona concedes that she remembers that. She looks down, ashamed for her daughter. Tom continues: "And the fiasco with Richmond and the Adonis campaign? She made a COMPLETE fool out of me! She practically got herSELF raped! And then the disco?" His voice drops in despair as he plaintively says: "But THIS ... I mean, to lie to me about wanting to have a baby, at is--that is the worst [his voice breaks] and most unforgivable [gurgling slightly] deceit." He fights to regain his composure as the tears threaten to fall. He holds himself in and, shaking a little, says: "And there is no WAY that I can ever trust Erica again." Mona wishfully says: "Not--not even if she--if she's learned her lesson?" Tom gently says: "It's too late, Mrs. Kane. If a marriage is not founded on trust, then--then it's not founded. It isn't as though I threw Erica a curve." He loses it again and his voice sounds like nails on a chalkboard as he says: "She--she KNEW that I wanted to have a FAMILY." He fights not to cry and his eyes open wider. He seems to be developing lockjaw as he says: "If she wanted to wait, why didn't she just TELL me?" Mona tries, knowing it's futile: "I know you're right. I BEGGED her to come to you. I BEGGED her to tell you the TRUTH, Tom." Tom, somewhat back in control again, says: "But it would have been against ERICA'S own best interests. And that is ALL Erica cares about. Being in the limelight! Going her own way!" He paces all over the office like a lame Weeble. Tom: "Well ... she can do whatever she wants to now ... because our marriage is finished ... and I don't think that even YOU can deny that, Mrs. Kane." Mona realizes that there is no hope. She tearfully says: "I'm sorry, Tom. I'm so VERY sorry!" He quietly says he's sorry too. Looking like a lost little boy, he says: "I tried, Mrs. Kane." The effort to hold back tears results in a strangled squeak. He then grunts: "You can't say I never tried!" At this point, he sounds like he is SEVERELY constipated, but trying to work it out ANYWAY. He clenches his jaw and grunts. He's shaking and looks like something is going to pop out of little tiny volcanoes all over his body any second now. Mona wisely decides it's time to leave and thanks him for listening. Slightly more in control, he thanks her for coming by. Mona bursts into tears and hugs him. She tells him good-bye and kisses his neck. He tries VERY hard to contain himself until she leaves the room. He limps over to his desk, allowing the tears to begin. He sits at his desk and looks at the photo of Erica that he keeps on it. With his jaw still clenched, he gutturally says: "I gave you..." With one hand on his cane and the other bracing himself on the desk, his hands turn into claws -- the cane drops from his hand and clatters to the floor. He crumples paper on his desk and drops his head to the desk, gurgling as if he's just been stabbed through the lungs and it's bubbling out his chest. After a few heaving sobs, he appears to be pitifully wiping his snot on the highly polished wood.
Irreverantly submitted,
Robin "those were the days" Coutellier