Boogie Chillen
May 7, 2003

Wow, what a FUN picnic! Just what an 6-year-old wants to do -- hang out with INCREDIBLY stilted adults who are DESPERATELY trying to act like they are having fun.

You can tell that Chris is the more experienced of the agents on AMC -- HE sticks his gun in the BACK of his pants, so the odds are he'll only blow his ass off, as opposed to Aidan, who endangers his entire external reproductive system every time he sticks a gun down the FRONT of his pants. OTOH, a nice round butt will shove the gun upwards with every step taken unless it is firmly wedged in the crack.

Oh no -- EVIL has intruded upon the blissful semi-family picnic! Flanders you say? Chris, perhaps? No, I am referring to someone whose very countenance strikes fear in the hearts of children and adults alike: JONI! Oh wait, it's just a little blonde girl. Whew, THAT was a close call!

I was going to say something about teaching a little kid about violence for fun and future profit, but then I decided that, considering the kind of crap that goes on at Wildwind on any given day, Maddie probably SHOULD know how to kick some butt and defend herself.

BTW, someone mentioned previously that Flanders had hidden his gun under some leaves under a fallen branch. Thanks for pointing that out, because I was wondering why he was hiding his cellphone, vaguely musing that he was using it as a decoy homing device.

Why are Bianca and Lena referring to the time as "this morning"? The picnic in the barren wastelands of PV was taking place AFTER Maddie got out of school. Nope, our lovely lesbian ladies have been nuzzling for QUITE some time.

Where did Michael call Lena from, the hallway? He knocks at the door about a minute or LESS from the time they hang up.

Thank God Aidan and Maria are moving to the Valley Inn -- at least there it's unlikely that anyone in town can get a live sex show merely by walking by. That was a MIGHTY quick quickie, though. Aidan puts even the horniest of teens to shame by breaking some kind of land speed record from yanking off clothes to basking in afterglow. All things considered, it was pretty ironic for Maria to be referring to the Pine Cone as the No-Tell Motel. Uh, I hate to break it to you, Maria, but pretty much *ALL* the sex you've had with Aidan in PV has been broadcast all over the internet due to the fact that the only time the drapes have EVER been closed was BEFORE you and Aidan starting getting it on.

Now there are THREE screaming little girls running around the wasteland. What are they doing, giving away free Barbie Dream Houses just for stopping by?

Where did Aidan get all this newfound money? Not only is he moving them into the Valley Inn, he bought what would normally be considered a bigass engagement ring (it looks downright puny compared to Erica's, of course).

The way Flanders acts and talks makes it pretty clear that he's a wannabe Soprano, but he fails MISERABLY in that attempt IMNSHO. He's all over the map and the mannerisms are so melodramatic that I almost feel SORRY for him (the actor AND the character).

Robin "fuggeddaboudit!" Coutellier