Friday Update
April 26, 2002

PREVIOUSLY ON ALL MY CHILDREN

In the Valley Inn dining room, Erica tells Chris: "I don't want to lose you again." Chris: "You won't, ever."

In bed at the Valley Inn, Kendall laughs and tells Ryan: "There is something that I've always wanted to do that I've never done." Ryan: "All right, tell me." Kendall: "I've never been on a picnic with a guy."

In an unoccupied hospital room, Mia tells a freshly showered, towel- wrapped Jake: "You want to work out old relationship issues, go right ahead. I'm not going to stick around." Greenlee looks up expectantly and triumphantly at Jake.

In the Valley Inn dining room, David tells Leo: "There's something else going on with you. What are you running from?" Leo: "Greenlee! I can't keep running into Greenlee."

TODAY'S SECRET WORD: KARMA

VALLEY INN BAR & GRILL

Opal joins Erica. Erica is extremely, sweepingly happy about her marvelous trip to Manhattan. She's just happy, happy, happy. Her LIFE is happy! Opal asks about O.D.K. (Operation Dump Kendall). Erica says she's thinking that maybe she should just let it go; maybe Kendall has reformed. Opal stares at her in disbelief.

When Opal questions Erica, Erica says Chris said something SO sweet to her. He said that there's a part of Erica in Kendall, so she CAN'T be ALL bad. Opal: "Well, I fully expected to be riding a flying pig to Paris before I'd see the two of you peacefully co-existing." Erica admits Chris has been lobbying for a truce. She confides that she's afraid that Chris would never forgive her if he found out she's planning to give Kendall her walking papers. Chris suddenly calls out to Erica from behind a wall. He surprises her by stepping out and walking to her with two canes (the kind with the cuffs up the forearm). They both grin as he slowly walks over to her.

I should probably mention (although I'm sure Shaqqie will elaborate) that Erica is wearing an animal print halter sundress that goes down to the waist in the back. While she looks great, all things considered, her back kind of looks like a drawing from an anatomy book; she should really leave the excessive skin baring to people who have at least a tiny bit more than -10% body fat. Erica and Chris hug. Opal gushes over his progress and then leaves. Erica holds out a chair and Chris impresses her by actually bending his knees to sit in it. She fawns all over him, then takes her seat. She's deliriously happy about how well he's doing. He says Dr. Stannart says he'll make a full recovery, and when he's 100%, she can kick him for being infuriating to her earlier. She seductively tells him that she has plans for him. He says HIS plans include picking her up and CARRYING her to the bedroom very, very soon, where they'll make love all night long. She thinks that sounds wonderful but cautions him not to push himself -- she can wait. He stands partially, leaning heavily on the table, and leans across to kiss her, saying HE can't.

MYRTLE'S HOUSE

Bianca comes downstairs with a gift. Kendall jokes with her and gives her two champagne bottles. She and Ryan were SUPPOSED to go on a picnic, but Ryan cancelled for some reason. [That's a whole lot of champagne for just two people -- they must be planning to get rip- roaring drunk!] Bianca thanks her, but says she doesn't really drink. Kendall urges her to take them for her friends. Bianca finally accepts and runs along to the mystery party.

Kendall pounds a pillow and paces as she grouses about having planned a picnic for a day that's full of wind, damp and mud. The doorbell rings. Kendall assumes it's a salesperson and stomps over to angrily answer the door. It's Ryan, holding a picnic basket.

A little later, Ryan spreads a blanket on the living room floor and says that, in addition to the classic picnic food, he has THESE. He holds up a jar with some black things in it. She doesn't know what they are, so he opens the jar and tosses a bunch of black plastic ants all over her. She shudders and frantically brushes them off. He then pulls out a plastic tree stump that's covered with birds, including a woodpecker that constantly batters the side of it. That's not annoying enough, so he flips a switch on it to add bird and various other outside noises to the incessant tapping. Over the clattering noise, he hands her a bouquet. She says she thought he was calling it off. He said they were only calling off the OUTdoor part, not wanting to sit around in 45mph wind in soggy, wet grass. Feeling unworthy, she says he went to a lot of trouble. He says something about their bad weather KARMA. Kendall: "I wasn't aware we had ANY kind of KARMA." He reminds her of the rained-out ball game. The woodpecker has finally stopped pecking and the birds have stopped tweeting. He's in a great mood as he says they've triumphed to the class American picnic. He suddenly notices her lack of enthusiasm. She says it's just that she thought they weren't doing this and it's hard to just suddenly shift gears. He admits it's not the REAL thing, but on a nice sunny day they'll do it the right way. Still being a drip [drip, get it?], she says they could have waited. He says that he's learned that if you keep putting off things you enjoy doing, more often than not they don't get done. People change plans or leave town. Kendall: "People forget to do what they promised?" He assures her that that won't be him. He won't let her down. She smiles, but doesn't seem to have much faith in that assertion.

CHANDLER HOUSE

Mia and Jake step outside. She coldly asks him what he wants. Jake: "That's easy. You." She asks about Greenlee. He says he's closed the book on Greenlee. He wants her to come with him right now so he can prove it. [I suddenly picture him taking Mia to a giant book with a flattened Greenlee drying between the pages]

BOATHOUSE

Leo and Greenlee register surprise at seeing each other. He asks if she's okay. She says yes. He says he was concerned about the way she tore out of her office earlier. Greenlee says that when it's time to go, it's time to go. He says he didn't know she was going to be there at the boathouse, and he'll leave her alone. He starts to leave, but she asks why he's there. He sadly says that this is where it all fell apart for them and he was thinking about her. [It fell apart in the boathouse? I think if he looks carefully (or just casually), he'll find that they fell apart all over town and there are pieces everywhere. In fact, the city's Waste Management department has received numerous calls to come and haul some of their roadkill away.] He didn't know where else to go. Greenlee looks sad.

Leo again tries to leave, but she says no, maybe they should talk about this, because they have some kind of KARMA that just keeps them drawn to each other because they keep thinking about each other, so they're like magnets. Leo, still looking defeated, says: "And that's unacceptable." Greenlee: "I can't go on living like this. Can you?" He says no, not like this. As the leaves continue to rattle in the wind on the bush behind him, he says he sees only two ways out of this. Either he moves to the West Coast or somewhere or she gives them one last chance. He votes for Plan B. How about her?

Greenlee gulps and says: "One last chance?" Leo steps back into the boathouse and squats. He says he knows nothing has changed as far as Vanessa is concerned. She's completely whacked out and unpredictable as far as the future is concerned, and he knows that it terrifies her. He understands. She wishes SHE did. It's not simple, and nothing about them has ever been EASY. He says that's why they worked before -- easy isn't a challenge, and they work better under a challenge. It's almost like they are plugged in. He begs her to say yes. She stares longingly at him for a few moments, then gets up to pace, saying this is too much pressure. Leo says he knows he shouldn't have attacked Trey, but he's such a SMUG little-- She gives him a warning stare. He says that what he's trying to say is that she's seen too much violence, thanks to him. She says Vanessa provided more than enough for several lifetimes. He ruminates that he must be crazier than Vanessa to ask her to come back. She says no, no lunatic in ANY asylum even comes CLOSE to his mother. He continues, saying that maybe it's a self-destructive thing, because every time thinks it's going to work, he BLOWS it. Greenlee: "No, you don't. In fact, you came through for me in a BIG way." He doesn't know what she's talking about. She says she knows what he did, and she loves him for it.

Leo asks what he did to make her so grateful. She says Simone told her about turning down the book offer. He says he'd give up a MILLION for her, but that's not the problem, is it? She broods and changes the subject. She sits again (he's standing now) and says she never found out why he came by her office. He says he couldn't just let her go like they never had anything. He was going to beg her to give it another chance. Instead he attacked Trey with that self-destructive streak he was talking about before. Leo squats again [too much fiber?] and rubs his brow. He's been thinking a lot about them, and it makes him sick to think about all the stuff he's put her through and the number of ways that he's hurt her. He worked up this desperate high, thinking that he was going to swoop into her office, make the impossible possible, and actually get her BACK. She says she WANTED it to be possible before. He laments screwing it up again. She says it's not just him. She lies awake at night wondering what she wants in her life. SAFE seems the way to go, but it's just not HER. Leo looks hopeful and smiles a little. He warns her that she's giving him some hope, so please don't make him crash! Greenlee: "The thing is this is it, Leo. It truly, COMPLETELY is our last chance. No more back and forth. I can't take it. But I also can't take letting you go without one final chance to make it work." Now she's the one looking hopeful, yet cautious. Leo seems to be having trouble breathing for fear it might make her run away. Did she just say YES? Greenlee: "I think so." She smiles a little, but bites her lip in apprehension at the idea of one last leap of faith.

Leo heaves a sigh of relief and stands [which makes that squatting thing even MORE suspicious] and walks over to take her hands and pull her to a standing position. He marvels that they are back together again. She says there IS one catch. They can't make it work just by wishing it so. Leo says he understands that the final result isn't a done deal. Greenlee says that the thing is that they are both incredibly smart and talented people who should be able to make it for the long haul. Leo smiles and says that she HAS been thinking about them, hasn't she? She smiles and starts to pace again. She says she even went to Jake like he told her to. It hit her that Jake is a great guy. Leo: "Just what I wanted to hear." She extols Jake's virtues as a nice guy who was always there for her. His advice was great and his love for her was completely sincere. Leo, hands in pockets now, says she's not exactly building his confidence here. She laughs and says to let her finish. She says Jake was always so ready to shore her up that she confused "safe and secure" for LOVE. Leo asks her to go back to the confused part again. She says she told Leo that she loved him AND Jake, but she was completely misinterpreting her feelings for Jake. She wasn't in love, she was GRATEFUL and more than willing to let him take care of her, but the sparks weren't there -- EVER. Leo points to himself and asks: "Spark?" Greenlee playfully slaps him and says: "SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION!" He grins. Greenlee: "Jake's romantic interests lie elsewhere, and I don't care. But the thought of you moving on was, like, mental food poisoning, Leo!" He asks about Trey. She says Trey is a friend and legal connection. He hems and haws a little as he questions Trey rescuing her from Vanessa. She interrupts and FIRMLY says that she wants HIM. Trey is not even worth mentioning.

GREENLEE'S BUILDING

In the elevator, a leather-jacketed, sideburned man shoves Trey into a corner near the doors. Trey pulls cash ($180) out of his wallet and frantically hands it over to the guy. Man: "What do you think I am, a panhandler? It's CHUMP change!" Trey says something about maybe the guy should mug people in a better neighborhood. Man: "That strike you as being smart, Trey, mouthing off to me?" Trey is astonished that the man knows his name. The guy says he knows PLENTY about him and asks what he thinks the people around there would do if they found out who he REALLY is. Trey ponders this and gives the slightest of nods, but is still cowed.

Trey says that if the guy is going to tell people that "Trey" is a nickname, they are already hip to that. The guy says that he hopes Trey can bluff juries better than that. Trey says that whatever secret the guy THINKS he knows, he's wrong. Man: "Give it up, Sonny Boy. My sources are strictly reliable. $50,000 worth." Trey blusters, but the man tells him to give it up, or he'll spread the word. The guy says Trey will hit the Proteus jackpot soon enough. Only thing is, Trey won't stick around too much after -- that's why he needs his payment UP FRONT -- he has one week to come up with 50 thou. Trey balks at that, but the guy, who is now exiting the elevator, turns and punches him in the stomach. We see his face for a split second, but he doesn't look like anyone I recognize. [I'm thinking Trask Bodine or maybe Braden, but they both would be older than this guy (not that THAT's ever stopped them)] Trey ends up at the back of the elevator and eventually remembers to cough slightly in response to the stomach punch. The guy says he'll be in touch, then leaves. Trey continues to recover in the elevator, looking worried and frustrated. He eventually gets up, continues to cough unconvincingly as he loosens his tie, then repeatedly slams his fist into the elevator wall, losing control for once. He kicks the walls and slams them over and over, like King Kong in the cargo hold. He slams his fist into the elevator doors and they magically open. Mia and Jake are standing there. [Once again, Mia has abandoned her frightened sister to be with Jake] They stare as Trey huffs and puffs and gathers his composure.

Mia demands to know what Trey is doing in the elevator. He steps out and says it was unbelievable! Jake suspiciously asks why he was ripping apart the elevator. Trey says he thought he would be stuck in it all NIGHT! Jake says he didn't hear the alarm ringing. Trey says it didn't work. Jake nods disbelievingly, then leans in and presses the alarm button, which promptly rings. Trey says the power went on right before the doors opened -- the claustrophobia really kicked in! Mia reminds Jake that HE got stuck in there once with 3 other people. Mia stares at Trey, so he changes the subject and asks if she lives there. Jake says HE does (as Mia says she doesn't). Trey says they'll be seeing a lot of each other then -- he's his new neighbor. Jake, impressively unenthusiastic, turns to step in and says: "Yeah, see you around." Trey holds the door and tells him to hold on -- they should take the stairs unless they want to get stuck in the elevator. Jake scoffs.

MAGGIE'S ROOM

Bianca shows up at the door and says it's kind of weird that Maggie is alone TODAY. Maggie guesses she's referring to Frankie's birthday. Bianca has to invite herself in. Maggie says that, yes, she HAS been playing what-if since sunup. Bianca says they can't will Frankie back, but sometimes it feels like she's there. Maggie agrees and says she can't wait for the day to be over. Bianca smiles and scoffs, saying it's HER birthday too! She pulls out a bottle of champagne and says: "Let's celebrate!"

MYRTLE'S HOUSE

With a feast for 5 laid out before them, Ryan asks what she thinks. Kendall thinks it looks "white". He says mayonnaise is considered it's own food group in some parts of the world. She continues to diss the mayo, but then thanks him for going to all that trouble. She sighs. She says Myrtle has chips in the kitchen. He gets up to go get them. Kendall surreptitiously scrapes the potato salad from her plate back into its container. He walks back in and catches her. She sheepishly apologizes and says it's anything with mayo -- it's a texture thing. He's not insulted -- he bought it at a deli. She asks what else, besides eating slippery foods, they do on picnics. He suggests Frisbee. She doubts Myrtle would appreciate that. He says that leaves FOOTBALL! He pulls out a somewhat-heavier-than-NURF football and throws it to her. It thwacks on her chest. She laughs and says he's so disturbed it's not even funny. [so true] She says her curiosity about picnics has been satisfied -- they are BOREDOM- fests! He says wait until they go on a REAL picnic with trees and sunburn. She says dirt, heat and real bugs swimming in the mayo would not be a plus. He frowns about his picnic being a wash. She apologizes, saying it WAS her idea; it was just a lousy idea. He says to give him a call the next time she has a lousy idea and they'll try again. She suggests an alternate plan. They kiss and she says great minds think alike. They laugh. He crawls over her until she's lying on the floor. They laugh some more and kiss after she says they have the whole house to themselves tonight. It gets even hotter when suddenly the door opens. Erica and Chris stare, then Chris warns Erica not to say a word. Erica frowns. Chris yells their names and the kiddies spring apart to sit up, looking VERY caught. Chris yells and points at them with one cane, saying: "On behalf of your mother and me, you two are SO GROUNDED!" Ryan and Kendall look quizzically at each other and wipe the spittle off their mouths.

Chris says that is NOT what they expected to walk in on. Kendall notices the canes and bipedalism of Chris and happily asks where his chair is. He says he sold it for scrap metal. The kids are thrilled and congratulate him. Ryan suggests champagne. Kendall blanches. Erica asks for just sparkling water, but Chris says he never turns down free champagne. Kendall says she gave the bottles to another boarder when she thought they weren't going to have the picnic. Ryan and Erica realize that the only other boarder is Bianca, but Erica says Kendall COULDN'T have given it to Bianca because she's underage. Right? Silence. Erica: "You gave ALCOHOL to my teenage daughter?" Kendall says that her OTHER daughter is a good girl who doesn't get into trouble like she and Erica. Erica stares.

MAGGIE'S ROOM

Bianca is noticeably drunk and asks if it's just her, or did that go awfully fast? Maggie laughs and whoops it up, saying that the day is a very special day, and the one thing that Frankie LOVED was a PAR- TAY! She lies on the bed and pours herself another glass. Bianca gets up and stumbles over to her shopping bag, saying they should eat something. Maggie points out the bathroom, but Bianca denies being sick, adding that she doesn't WANT to be sick. She brings over a frosted cupcake and says: "For YOU!" She sticks a candle in it. As Maggie holds it, Bianca holds up another candle, saying she brought it and hoped that Maggie wouldn't think it was TOO creepy. Maggie thinks it's sweet that she brought one for Frankie, too. Bianca says yeah, because sometimes it seems like she's still there. Maggie holds out the cupcake and enthusiastically tells Bianca to put it in. [Green light, green light!] Bianca does so, saying she's glad Maggie doesn't think it's too weird. She gets up and swigs some more champagne, lurching around as she does so. Maggie: "Hello? Who are you talking to? My family DEFINES dysfunction!" She drinks some more, then bounces up and down on the bed, holding out the cupcake for Bianca to light. Bianca successfully lights them and tosses the waved-out match to the side, and tells Maggie to make a wish. Maggie: "Like THAT'LL work!" Bianca: "Oh, my God, are you channeling Frankie? She was really anti-wish, too." Maggie says they're realists, and wishing doesn't get you ANYTHING in HER family -- begging doesn't, either. Fighting sometimes works, but RUNNING works the BEST. More guzzling ensues. They both giggle. Bianca says she got Frankie to wish. Maggie asks if it worked. Bianca morosely says yes. She grimaces and says they BOTH got their wish for a little while. Maggie looks sad. Bianca tells Maggie to live dangerously and make a wish. Maggie wishes (and Bianca SEEMS to be making one for Frankie) and they both blow out the candles and laugh. Bianca leans forward and Maggie pushes the cupcake into Bianca's nose, getting frosting all over it. They drunkenly giggle as Bianca eats the frosting off her nose.

BOATHOUSE

Leo climbs over something and says that a week ago he represented a death sentence for Greenlee -- can she really get past that? She walks over to him and says that she HAS to if she wants to be truly happy, and she can't punish him or herself for what Vanessa did. He says she's asking an awful lot of herself. She says it's HER decision and she's never felt better about anything than she does this minute. Leo: "But the reality is--" Greenlee: "The reality is that we can't predict the future. Will I step off the curb and get hit by a truck? Will I get some horrible, incurable disease?" Leo: "Greenlee, don't even SAY stuff like that!" Greenlee: "You know what? We have to live every moment with all the excitement and joy that we can get out of it. And I can't do that with anyone but you, and I wouldn't even want to try. So ready or not, here I am, coming into your life forever, because I love what you do to me, and I love who I am when I'm with you because I love you so, SO much." They look deeply into each other's eyes as violin music plays.

Greenlee tells Leo he has her heart. He says he wants to be worthy of it. She says it's okay to be nervous since this is the biggest decision they'll ever make. She admits to having butterflies the size of pterodactyls in her stomach. He caresses her face and says it feels RIGHT, doesn't it. She smiles and says yes -- they've never been a cozy, contented couple. He says they're more VOLCANIC. She agrees that it's the BEST fireworks. She says they shouldn't run away from it -- that's who they are. He agrees, but he wants her to be sure. She says she TOLD him why she's saying yes. He frets a little more, saying he doesn't want her to regret it. She says she knows what she's doing. He says if he could be 100% positive that he could make her happy, then he would. She tells him to knock it off -- never getting angry or upset? Does he call that LIVING? Does he know anybody who is happy and smiling ALL THE TIME? If he DOES, can he STAND being around them for more than 5 minutes? She wants HIM, not some brainless, empty-hearted moron. Greenlee: "Say you want me, too, or I'm going to go home, buy 20 cats, and have my name legally changed to MISS Greenlee Smythe!" They kiss. Birds sing. [Oh wait, the birds are outside my window trying to build nests over my porch (keyword being TRYING -- I want to be able to get my mail delivered without birds attacking the mail carrier, and there are already BEES guarding the lemon tree at the BACK door)]

MYRTLE'S HOUSE

Erica can't believe Kendall DELIBERATLY gave alcohol to Bianca. How much? Kendall: "Two bottles." Chris says that doesn't mean Bianca DRANK any of it. Ryan chimes in that Bianca is NOT into alcohol. Chris insists that Bianca has a good head on her shoulders. Ryan suggests they talk to Bianca before they all come down on her. Erica thinks that's a good idea and calls up the stairs to Bianca. Kendall informs her that Bianca went out, taking the bottles with her. Erica is trying hard to keep her temper. Kendall says she doesn't know WHERE Bianca went. Erica loses it and says Kendall gave Bianca 2 bottles of champagne and now she's behind the wheel of a CAR? How could Kendall DO that? Kendall gets defensive and says: "Hey, she TOOK them! That was HER decision to take them. She's not FIVE anymore, Erica, ok, so just stop CARRYING ON!" Erica pulls back her hand to wallop Kendall a good one, but Ryan intervenes before impact. Kendall stares disbelievingly at Erica, her mouth hanging open. Erica stares back. [You know, I'm getting tired of Erica constantly resorting to violence].

MAGGIE'S ROOM

Bianca tells Maggie to open her present. It's a framed photo of Bianca and Frankie. The frame is very large with big flower prints all over it, completely dwarfing the little black and white photobooth headshots. Bianca says she didn't know what else to get her. Maggie hugs the photo to her chest and thanks her. Bianca says it must be like looking into a mirror. Maggie says no, she and Frankie were completely different. Frankie was lucky, in spite of everything that happened. Bianca: "How?" Maggie: "She had YOU." Bianca says no, SHE was the lucky one. She puts her drink down and moans a little, saying she'll never get used to missing her and feeling like she's still right there. Maggie looks sympathetic and says she guesses that's what love does. Bianca leans forward and lovingly caresses Maggie's face. Maggie frowns and looks on guard as Bianca makes cow eyes at her -- she does NOT, however, remove Bianca's hand.

JAKE'S LOFT

Jake and Mia enter as Jake assures her that Greenlee KNOWS it's over. Mia says, yeah, until the NEXT time Greenlee gets her hair caught in a blender. [ROTFL! Apparently there IS a berserk blender loose on the set] Jake says Greenlee doesn't know HOW to work a blender. Mia says that then she'll ask him to SHOW her how to use one. Jake says he won't do it. Mia says Greenlee LOOOOOVES Jake riding to her rescue. Jake says he's put the white charger out to pasture. She asks what if SHE'S in trouble. He says he knows she's smart and resourceful enough to keep the danger at bay until he can show up in a car. He writes something on a notepad. She tentatively says he'll show up eventually, right? He hands her the sheet of paper and says he'll ALWAYS show up. He gave her his beeper number, which she can use at any time. She asks if that's supposed to show that she has an edge on Greenlee [whom we all KNOW has his beeper number]. He stands and assures her that Greenlee is COMPLETELY out of the romantic picture. He holds her face and shoulders and says he'll do whatever he can to convince her of that. She says he's doing a pretty good job so far. They are about to kiss when her cell phone rings. It's Trey. He says he has to see her. NOW. She says she can't -- it's not really a good time. Trey says it's about the baby. Mia winces.

Trey confidently says: "You remember the BABY, Mia." She tells him it's not funny. He gets mad and says she's damn RIGHT it's not funny! She says she thought they took care of that. He says he did, too, but something just happened. It's SERIOUS. She asks what that means. He yells that it MEANS tell Doc Martin GOOD-NIGHT, unless she wants something bad to happen to the boy. She tearfully says she'll get back to him, then hangs up. Jake notices her change in demeanor and asks who it was. She says it was nobody and to just forget it. He holds her in his arms. She looks miserable. Down in the lobby, Trey says: "Big mistake, Mia -- BIG mistake!" He fumes.

ON THE NEXT AMC

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David and Anna stand in the doorway to Maggie's room and look around with dismay as he says: "Looks like the party's over." Maggie rocks a little on the bed and pushes her hair back, looking a little befuddled.

On the side of a road, Bianca holds a bloody hand to her head and bleats into her cell phone: "I had an accident, Mom! I ran off the road." At Myrtle's house, Erica frantically says: "Bianca? Honey, are you there?" Ryan and Kendall walk in to hear that part.

In Greenlee's loft, she leans forward and seductively asks Leo: "You want to make love, don't you?" Leo: "You know I do." Greenlee: "Then why are you stopping me?"

Irreverently submitted,

Robin "your karma just ran over my dogma" Coutellier