Friday Update
October 26, 2001

PREVIOUSLY ON ALL MY CHILDREN

In her living room, a negligee'd Erica tells Chris: "You were wonderful tonight!" Chris: "You needed somebody to listen to you, not make love to you."

At SOS, Simone begs Mateo: "Don't go meet whoever it is they're sending." Mateo: "It's done. Just stay out of it."

In the condo courtyard, Greenlee protests to the police: "I didn't do anything to anyone!" Officer: "Ma'am, do you live here? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used --" Laura gloats from the doorway as Greenlee says: "Oh, Leo, for God's sake, if I've ever meant anything to you, stop this NOW!"

L&L CONDO

In the courtyard, an officer finishes reading Greenlee her rights. Greenlee rants about her being the only sane person there. Jake appears at the end of the corridor. Greenlee asks if someone scribbling her name on a wedding list was grounds for arresting her. Laura and Leo say it was her handwriting. Brooke, standing with the newlyweds, says: "I TOLD you I would STOP you, Greenlee." A cop yanks Greenlee's arm and they (and Leo & Brooke) all scuffle down the corridor (opposite of the one Jake is at). Laura stands watching them, then quickly bends down and picks up Greenlee's fallen purse, stuffing her own (full) pill bottle into it. She quickly throws the purse down again before the crowd returns to their position in front of the condo. Greenlee is handcuffed now, yipping and threatening lawsuits every inch of the way. Brooke tells L&L to go inside, saying she can handle this. Jake walks up and asks what's to handle. Laura is instantly on guard and goes into her poor little sick girl routine, telling Leo she's tired. Greenlee tells Jake they are arresting her for breaking in which he KNOWS is a lie! Brooke tells Jake to stay out of it for his own sake, then escorts the feeble one back inside. The cops haul Greenlee away. Leo spots the purse on the ground and picks it up. Jake snatches it from him, warns Leo that this is just the BEGINNING of the trouble, then follows in Greenlee's wake. As he waves the purse in Leo's face, we can hear pills rattle, although it's not clear either of them hear them. Leo is wearing a brand new silver leather jacket. You can tell it's never been worn, because there is not a single tiny crease anywhere on it. Leo bends over and appears to be fondling his own ass [okay he's reaching into his back pockets] and suddenly realizes something [that he really DOESN'T know his adorable ass from a hole in the ground?]

SOS

Erica is trying in vain to reach Greenlee by phone and is leaving a lambasting phone message about her machine cutting her off, ending with: "How DARE you! Who do you think you ARE to just drop off the face of ***MY*** earth without my permission?" [BWAHAHAAAA!!!!] Chris yanks the phone from her and asks, in the interest of blood pressure levels throughout PV, to please have the ads on Ms. Kane's desk by morning. Chris holds the phone back to Erica and says that, in her hands, it's a formidable WEAPON. Erica says she's not finished. She's wearing a thin-strapped, VERY low-cut little black dress and a wonderbra [which is probably why she's so cranky] which makes her breasts look like formidable weapons in their own right. She's also wearing a little black knotted choker with the ends hanging down. She insists on him driving her back to Enchantment to take care of things. He tells her it's a smoke-screen to forget about Bianca. Erica says Bianca is turning all her upset onto her. He assures her that Bianca will come around. She hopes so, or she'll lose her daughter ... and then she'll be all alone :-( Chris says she won't be alone, she'll have HIM. Simone chooses that moment to grab him and shove him behind the bar (ironically leaving Erica alone), letting him know she's not happy about him leaving to pick up Ms. Kane. Simone is called to the other side of the bar to take care of an unhappy customer.

Out in the alley, Mateo motions to someone (Roger) in the shadows to come closer so he can see him. Roger says he's there, and that should be enough. Mateo says they talk face-to-face or not at all. Roger steps forward and Mateo realizes who he is. Roger: "Impressed?" Mateo licks his lips and says he's not doing business with him anymore. Their business is over and he can find someone else to launder their money. Roger doesn't think so, after all the time and money they've put into Mateo. Mateo grabs him and slams him up against the wall. He pulls out the shiny gun and holds it to Roger's chin (because Roger is WAY taller than Mateo) and says: "Listen to me -- either I get my life back or I'm taking yours!" The way the light hits the gun makes it look like it still has a price tag on it.

Simone apologizes to the unhappy customers but suggests, not particularly nicely, that they find somewhere ELSE to go. The woman gives her an exaggerated "EXCUSE ME?" look, but neither she nor the man with her say anything. Simone hands them the bill and tells them to have a great day. Chris yanks her forcefully back from the table and asks where Mateo is. She says he's doing business and to ask HIM about it -- they're managing. Chris says offending and ejecting customers is an interesting management style. She's snotty and says if he thinks he can do better, next time he should stick around and TEACH her. She stomps away. Erica walks up and asks him who JUST said he wouldn't leave her alone. He apologizes and says some people just don't appreciate his work ethic. She says he shouldn't have come to Enchantment and is concerned about Mateo being mad at him, but he says SHE needed him more than they did. She asks him how many covers (jobs) an agent needs. He says he needs cash in order to entertain a beautiful woman of expensive, discriminating taste. They flirt a little more, then she sits and asks him what to do about Bianca. [At this point I am seriously concerned that the pressure being exerted on Erica's boobs via her wonderbra are going to cause them to pop right out of the dress and shoot across the room. They look like flesh- colored apples.] He recommends doing nothing and waiting to see how things go. Wait until things cool off, then take action. Simone appears to overhear that last part and goes to check on Mateo. She hesitates at the door to the outside, though, replaying the conversation where he told her to butt out or he'd blow her cover. She tells her flashback that she'll blow her cover and yanks open the door. Mateo isn't there. Probably just as well, since the only weapon she was armed with was her bared belly-button.

Back at a cozy little table in the corner, Erica tells Chris that waiting is not her long suit. He insists waiting will pay off. They go over the pros and cons and he asks what's the worst that could happen. Erica says that Bianca has had a LOT of problems in her life already and she would be absolutely DESTROYED by Frankie's betrayal. Chris: "IF Frankie betrays her." Erica: "IF? IF? If will HARDEN her HEART!" Chris points out that Erica has been oft-betrayed -- how is HER heart? She says it's never been better. She just wants him to back off because she's worried SICK about Bianca. He promises to distract her and proceeds to show her how by kissing her. She admits it's a nice distraction. He asks her to go away with him.

PV COURTHOUSE

Even though it's the middle of the night, L&L&B [have to add the "B" since Brooke is now permanently attached to them] walk into the courthouse for a preliminary arraignment. Leo doesn't understand how it's happening so quickly -- it's only been a half-hour since Greenlee was arrested. Brooke righteously says: "Well, let's just say some people, like Judge Cates, don't believe that the wheels of justice should grind slowly." Laura plays her fingers over her clavicle and smugly squints at her mother with a conspiratorial little smile, saying: "Yeah, it PAYS to be well connected." Leo doesn't miss this, but chooses to ignore it. He's concerned about things being done fairly. Laura whines that he doesn't want Greenlee to sabotage their WEDDING, does he? Brooke says it's just an informal hearing to stop Greenlee before she does anything more drastic. Laura can't stop smiling. Edmund walks up and asks what's going on. Brooke tells him she had Greenlee arrested. He thinks that's pretty extreme. Brooke says she's not stable. He asks if Greenlee has actually threatened Laura. Brooke: "You mean, has she attempted murder SINCE she pushed my daughter off the Fidelity?" [AMC watchers' collective blood runs cold as they remember Brooke shooting and killing Jim T. just for JOKING about being a threat to Jamie who was 800 miles away at the time] Edmund agrees THAT was dumb, but she was drugged and isn't trying to MURDER Laura. Brooke says he doesn't KNOW that and Laura's condition is precarious -- she doesn't want Greenlee doing anything else to harm her. The camera pans to a scowling Leo. Laura is watching his concern for Greenlee intently.

A woman walks up and is introduced as Grace. We aren't told what Grace's function is, but she appears to be on Brooke's side in a legal capacity. The cops walk up escorting a feisty Greenlee who keeps yanking away from them, her purse now swinging wildly. Greenlee stares defiantly at Leo.

Brooke starts toward Greenlee, but Edmund stops her, asking what Greenlee could do with two cops right there (the cops aren't anywhere NEAR Greenlee). Greenlee sarcastically talks to L&L about the Kangaroo Court and asks if Aunt Phoebe is going to be the judge. Leo, concerned for her, tells her it's only a hearing. Greenlee: "Oh, I'm NOT being burned at the stake? How COMFORTING. Thank you SO much." Leo: "It's not a trial." Greenlee: "You mean, we still have due process in Pine Valley? Even with the mighty crusading hypocrite? Oh, I'm sorry -- I meant to say JOURNALIST -- Brooke English is running the show?" Leo rubs his eyes and mouth as both women cross their arms; Greenlee glares at Leo and Laura glares at Greenlee. One of the cops finally walks up, with Jake and an attorney in tow. Apparently Greenlee had previously declined to get an attorney because the whole thing is bogus and she thought she could straighten it out herself, but she was wrong. Jake introduces Kirk Jeffreys, who will represent her. Jeffreys tells the gorgeous model/cop that he wants a word alone with his client. The "word alone" takes place, of course, within a couple of feet of everyone else in the crowded hallway. She thinks the lawyer can just file an appeal or whatever and she can go, but he says it's not that simple. She doesn't understand why not -- Jake will just TELL them about the message he had a nurse convey to her. Jake has no idea what she's talking about. Greenlee finally realizes that it was Laura who made the call and refers to her as a vile, crafty little WENCH! Jake deduces that Laura set Greenlee up. A gorgeous bailiff calls everyone into the courtroom. Greenlee tells Jake and Jeffreys that they need to NAIL Laura for framing her. Jake says Laura is not NEARLY as smart as she thinks she is, so just let HIM nail her.

The judge, a 50-60ish woman, reminds everyone that this is a preliminary hearing and that everyone should relax. Greenlee turns to the side and snorts that it's easy for HER to say! The judge states that L&L are the plaintiffs, yet they did NOT call the arresting officers to the scene. (Although Laura is the one being stalked, she's sitting in the 2nd row, but Leo is in front of a microphone with Brooke's lawyer.) Laura merrily pipes up that that is correct. The judge asks if they support the charges of criminal trespass and harassment. Leo can't seem to bring himself to answer. Laura opens her mouth, but looks to Leo to do the talking. Everyone stares as the judge repeatedly prompts for an answer. Leo takes a breath and says: "Yes, your honor, I'm sorry." The judge starts to write it down, but Leo continues: "I mean NO! No, I don't -- I don't want to bring charges against Greenlee Smythe." Leo looks down and folds his hands as Laura and Brooke loudly protest to him.

Brooke and Laura stand up and hover over Leo, harping incessantly at him. Greenlee looks hopefully optimistic. The judge bangs her gavel and yells at everyone to be quiet. The harpies reluctantly sit down and the judge orders Leo to tell her more. Leo throws up his hands and says: "Well, I'm not sure what to say exactly, except that I'm sorry that we all had to come here for nothing." The judge asks if, in his view, there are no problems between him, his wife and Greenlee. Leo: "Well, there are problems, all right, but it's nothing that we need to drag through the courts." Brooke jumps up again and says: "Leo, how can you say that? Greenlee is CRAZY!" Greenlee: "Compared to Laura, I am the poster child for mental health!" The judge tells Brooke that they've known each other for a long time -- don't force her to cite her for contempt! Greenlee tosses Brooke a subtle victorious look. Brooke swallows her urge to vent and sits. Leo says they've all been acting irrationally from time to time, to put it mildly. They're all in uncharted territory now, though, and he thinks they can work it out without dragging it through he courts. They just have to compromise. Meanwhile, Laura puts her hand on her chest and starts her usual breathless conniption. Jake comes over and Laura says she didn't take her medication because she misplaced her pills. Greenlee walks over and sneers "How conVENient!" Brooke stares at Greenlee as if she is a gargoyle [you can read that however you want]. Laura breathlessly accuses Greenlee of breaking in and stealing her pills. Greenlee turns to the judge and says: "This isn't the first time Mrs. Du pres' pills have gone south in the interest of high drama." Brooke yells: "She is trying to destroy my daughter!" She says she KNOWS Greenlee broke in and took Laura's medication. Greenlee: "Then FRISK me! Pat me down! Anything to SHUT them up!" She grabs her purse and slams it on the plaintiffs' table, telling them to knock themselves out. She dumps the contents on the table and lists the contents of lipstick, keys, etc. No meds or lock-picking tools! She tells Brooke that her daughter is a FAKE and a LIAR. Laura is shocked at not seeing the pills on the table and retreats by saying maybe she should go to the hospital. Jack picks up Laura's purse. Leo tries to stop him, but Jake opens it, saying Laura misplaced her meds -- maybe she just overlooked them. He pulls them out of her purse and hands them to her. Laura looks caught and stares uncertainly and shifty-eyed as Brooke hangs all over her and rubs her back.

THE BEACH

Still holding the gun on Roger, Mateo asks if the place is familiar. Roger is perplexed. Mateo spits out that it's the place Roger took pictures of Mateo and his wife. Roger, somewhat stressed, tells him that the good news is that all beaches look alike, so Mateo's secret is safe with him. Mateo says nothing and no place is safe as long as Roger is around, but this all ends here. Roger tries to talk him out of shooting him and to think about his wife and child. Roger: "You're smarter than that!" [No he's not] Mateo: "No, [see, even Mateo agrees] I'm the perfect employee! No honor, no scruples! [...] Tell me what I want to hear! And I'll consider giving you a reprieve! Just let me off the hook, Proteus!" Roger swears that he's NOT Proteus -- he's a LACKEY, like Mateo. Proteus sent him to try and talk some sense into him. Mateo says Proteus thought wrong. Roger flinches from the gun and says that if Mateo shoots him now, Proteus will take him out and then there will be TWO dead men!

Roger says killing him would be a lose-lose proposition. Two dead men is no victory. Mateo says he wants OUT! Roger says there's only one way out, and that way is mapped by PROTEUS, so Mateo should go BACK to the club, launder the money, and think about his wife and child! He can still have a good life! Mateo doesn't think it would last very long before everything caught up to him and he ended up in prison. Roger says he'd STILL have his family's love. He tells Mateo that Proteus knows exactly where Hayley and little Lorenzo are and HOW they are. Mateo yells at him to SHUT UP -- they're FINE! Roger says Hayley was fine when Mateo LEFT her -- how long ago was that?

SOS

Erica questions the wisdom of going away for the weekend with Chris. He suggests the Prescott House and says it will give Erica and Bianca the time and space that they need. She asks what HE gets. He says that's entirely up to HER. Opal walks up to Erica and melodramatically says: "Oh, thank HEAVENS! You are the answer to my agonized, HOWLING prayers!" Erica looks down and around for another person, then back to Opal and says: "I assume you're talking to me?" Opal is frazzled after tracking Erica down to SOS, of all places. She stops a waiter and says: "Oh, hey! Listen, could you get me a Long Island Iced Tea, pronto? [...] Or a Nantucket or a New Zealand? Whatever ISLAND has the wettest, longest concoction that'll hit me the fastest, ok?" Apparently Opal has just had a run-in with the wicked witch of Pine Valley. Chris gets up to give them some privacy. Opal sits and says yes, this IS in reference to Vanessa and her Satanic mate. Erica guesses she's referring to Palmer. Opal slams her hand on the table and says: "Yeah, that mean-spirited, wizened old WEASEL!" Erica asks which Cortlandt she's talking about and they agree the appellation applies equally to Mr. AND Mrs. Cortlandt. Opal rants that she went over to their lair to try to get Vanessa to help out and take a little responsibility for Frankie. Erica says she'd never do that. Opal: "No, she's FAR too busy skinning PUPPIES for her new winter coat, you know, to have any care at ALL for her own flesh and blood!" Erica hesitates to respond and looks slightly preoccupied with wanting to get back to Chris.

Over at the bar Simone is rubbing the bar so hard that she practically creates a crater. Chris deduces that this isn't about unhappy customers and wants to know what set her off. She just stares at him, looking like she wants to pound on someone.

THE BEACH

Mateo tells Roger not to threaten his wife. Roger says he's NOT -- he's offering to let Mateo profit from HIS mistake. He tells Mateo a pitiful story about a woman named Sandra. He's been in an unhappy marriage for YEARS. Two years ago he was really down and Sandra pulled him up again. But he was greedy and stupid! He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, but knowing he wouldn't get any money from his wife, he decided to turn to an independent source of cash. Mateo guesses Proteus. Roger says no, he skimmed money from his daughter's trust fund. Mateo sarcastically says that's really nice. Roger says he just wanted to be safe somewhere with Sandra and pay back his daughter. He didn't want to get involved with drugs either. He lasted about 3 months and then decided to bail. He was going to talk -- gives names and places and details about the whole operation. He didn't though, because on his way to the police he got a phone call from an ELECTRONICALLY CONTROLLED VOICE!!! The voice said: "MR. Smythe, since you decided to break our hearts, we're going to do you one better." Mateo: "Sandra?" Roger: "I wasn't sure. I raced back to my apartment and I found her in the bedroom. She was so peaceful. It looked like she was sleeping. So content. The coroner said it was a heart attack. I'd been gone for 15 minutes, Mateo. FIF---TEEN--MINUTES!" Mateo waivers, then stops pointing the gun at him.

SOS

Opal reaches for her newly arrived drink, but Erica hands the glass to the waiter, who instead pours bottled water into Opals glass. Opal wails about KNOWING about how alcohol is a depressant that ages you prematurely. Erica says it's POISON and, besides, she's giving Vanessa too much power. Opal says she'd like to give the old sow a facelift with her bare hands and a rusty chisel. Erica thinks that's too good for her. Opal says she'd snuff Vanessa if she could get away with not having to serve hard time [she should set up a meeting with Brooke for some pointers on that]. Erica says THAT way, Opal could have another crack at PALMER. Opal insists that the only crack she'd like to take at Palmer would be with a 2x4 to his cranium. Erica gently asks Opal to admit she still wants Palmer. Opal loudly insists that's not the case and rants about him just sitting there with his bargain-basement Joan Collins insulting her left and right. Opal yanks out some cash for her drink, slaps it down and, pissed off because Erica won't tell her what she wants to hear, says: "So much for SISTERhood! I should have gone straight home and e-mailed OPRAH!" She gets up and stomps out.

Chris tells Simone that it's not like Mateo to desert her when, thanks to him, they are understaffed. Simone remembers Mateo wondering if Chris might be the caller, since he's never there when Mateo gets the call from the computerized voice. She mutters about not knowing WHAT is going on in Mateo's head these days, what with fatherhood, marriage, etc., and then leaving HER to run the ship when she barely knows the drill. She doesn't care -- it's not like somebody DIED! Chris apologizes for not being around and goes back to Erica's table. Erica says Opal was in QUITE a mood; he says she's not the only one. He goes back to pressing the plans for the Prescott House. He's interrupted by a phone call. He tells the caller: "This is NOT a good time." The scene goes to the beach, where Roger is on the phone saying: "We have business to take care of. ENCHANTMENT business." Back at SOS, Chris listens and gives Erica a tiny smile. Erica gives a slight, wondering smile herself.

PV COURTHOUSE

Laura takes her pills. Leo leans over to pet her and says she should have stayed home. Jake says her pulse is racing -- this is too much excitement for her. Brooke worries that Laura should be admitted to the ER. Jake says she's breathing easier now, so there's no reason to admit her. [She NEVER takes her pills when she's supposed to and is CONSTANTLY having breathing breakdowns -- sounds like a good reason to keep her PERMANENTLY admitted] Jake shakes the pills in Laura's face and grits his teeth slightly as he says she might want to be more careful with them. Brooke frets about calling David. Jake says David has more than enough to keep himself busy. In a steely voice, Jake tells Laura: "Why don't you tell your mom you're ok." Robotically, Laura says: "I'm fine, Mom." Jake narrows his eyes at Laura. The judge says that if everyone is ABLE, she'd like to continue. Greenlee stops crossing her arms and returns to her seat. The judge suggests Laura might be more comfortable outside, but Laura wants to stay -- with her husband [GAG!] Everyone goes back to their places. Brooke leans over and strongly confers with her lawyer, Ms. Halpin (aka Grace), completely ignoring the judge who is asking Leo about the compromise he had mentioned earlier. Before Leo can answer, Ms. Halpin jumpw up and says a restraining order would be the simplest solution. Leo jumps up and says that's not necessary. Brooke jumps up and says Laura has to be stopped. Halpin bring ups Laura's health. Edmund jumps up and asks the judge for a moment to speak to Ms. English. Judge Cates ruefully shakes her head and says: "Whoever you are, I wish you WOULD! [ROTFLMAO!] Outside!" Brooke snips to Edmund: "Later!" Edmund: "Later, there'll be bars between us." Judge: "Excellent point." She and Edmund leave the room. The judge (HER arms now folded) sighs and asks Leo to continue. Leo turns to Greenlee and asks her to SWEAR that she'll stay away from Laura. If she says she won't bother her again, they'll be done and there will be no legal action. Halpin jumps up to stop Leo and he tells her to let him handle it. Jeffreys turns to Greenlee and tells her it's a terrific offer and to take it. Greenlee disagreeably ponders it and stares at Leo, who nods at her that he means business.

Out in the hallway, Brooke complains about having to deal with it AT ALL and now Leo SURRENDERS? Edmund asks if they are at war. Brooke says YES, which shows how much HE knows! She thought Judge Cates was on HER side. He tells her to listen to herself and get a GRIP! She tells him not to talk down to her and stomps back over to the doors to the courtroom. He asks her to let them settle it among themselves. She loudly says she doesn't think Laura is quite a match for Greenlee [she's so loud I'm surprised that a) the outside bailiff just ignores her, and b) the judge doesn't order someone to shut her up]. He asks if she's 100% sure that Greenlee is the only person at fault here. Brooke lets go of the door handles and stalks back to Edmund, asking if he's talking about Greenlee's alliance with Jake or the fact that she still controls Leo. Edmund says he's talking about Laura and hands some papers to Brooke. Brooke huffs and reluctantly reads out loud: "When jealousy leads to madness." Edmund: "By Mrs. Du pres." She snorts at his suggestion to actually read it, saying Laura has anxieties and is trying to put words to her feelings. Greenlee has to be stopped, and that's why they are there! He says he didn't see any anxiety in the words. She says Laura is living her life in fear. Edmund doesn't think so -- he thinks Brooke and LEO are. She says Edmund can't begin to imagine what it's like for Laura with the transplant. He says no, he can't, but she's strong -- she's not some cowering victim. Brooke slaps the papers back in his hands and says the timeout is OVER. She stomps back to the courtroom. Edmund deadpans that THAT went well and follows her.

Meanwhile, the judge is waiting for Greenlee's answer. She and Jeffries and Jake huddle, but she insists she hasn't done anything wrong. She yells out to the judge that her plea is Not Guilty. The judge says that wasn't the question. Brooke snaps at Leo about stopping Greenlee. The judge says it's late and she's TIRED and since Greenlee won't accept his offer ... Leo tells Greenlee not to do this. Jeffreys asks for a 15-minute break. The judge wearily asks why. Jake jumps up and says HE needs to talk with Greenlee. He says his relationship with Greenlee is personal -- he's her boyfriend. Greenlee narrows her eyes. Leo rolls his eyes. The judge closes her eyes. Judge Cates: "Of COURSE you are." She gives Jake 2 minutes and says everyone stays put. She closes her eyes and leans back in her seat, sighing heavily. Jake takes Greenlee aside and says this is NOT the time to take the moral highground. Greenlee: "And you call yourself a MARTIN!" [LOL!] They argue about her culpability and the notion of admitting guilt versus staying free so they can nail Laura together. Jake lets her know that Laura has been stealing pills to make herself sick. He says she should TEMPORARILY admit guilt. Jake: "Now go and kick the dirt. Swear you're sorry and that you're never going to do it again. That's the ONLY way out. You have to trust me on this." She glares, but thinks about it.

SOS/THE BEACH

[The scene ping-pongs between the beach and SOS, so I'm just going to quote the conversation.] Chris: "Make it fast." Roger: "So suddenly you're in a hurry, huh? Two months ago, you said you'd fix it so I could get back inside Enchantment!" Chris: "Yeah, well, I'm working on it." Roger: "WORK HARDER!! Proteus wants you to EARN your living, AGENT Stamp." [Up to this point, I was suspecting they were each speaking to someone else] Chris: "You'll be back on the inside this weekend." Roger: "You do realize you can't afford to disappoint us." Chris: "You can count on me." Erica walks into the backroom and Chris says: "Look, got to go." He hangs up. [Although it's nighttime everywhere else and even ON the beach, daylight can be seen between the trees in the background and through the office windows at SOS] Erica says she didn't mean to hurry him [oh please, she would have followed him into the Men's room] and doesn't want to interrupt his sting operation. He pulls her close and tells her it was nothing. He continues to press her about the weekend. She says she can't and she's just as disappointed as he is. He doubts it. She's just so worried about Bianca. He says he has ways of taking off the edge. The get closer and closer as they pet and talk about missions and trust. He says they both need to get away for the weekend, more than she knows. She protests some more, but he stops her with passionate kisses.

PV COURTHOUSE

Jake tells Greenlee he MEANS it, NO fooling around! The judge wakes up and checks on the two minutes with the Bailiff. Time's up. Has Dr. Martin brought about a change of heart in Greenlee? Greenlee reluctantly says yes and that she accepts the compromise. Brooke is outspoken and doesn't believe it. She asks the judge if she really expects Greenlee to adhere to an HONOR system. The judge says that, evidently, Mr. & Mrs. Du pres believe exactly that. Laura energetically jumps up and starts up the aisle, presumably to counter that erroneous assumption. She's stopped by Jake, though, who very quietly asks her if she's going to tell them that she planted her meds in Greenlee's purse. Laura stops, thinks it over and stares at him. He gives her another I-know-you-know-I-know look.

H&M CONDO

Mateo frantically rushes into their bedroom yelling Hayley's name. She appears to be sleeping soundly. He shakes her and rolls her onto her back. She doesn't respond. He continues to shake her and yell at her to wake up as dramatic music plays.

[We never DO find out why Leo was fondling his own ass at the beginning of the show]

ON THE NEXT AMC:

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At the beach, Jake asks Greenlee: "Are you still in love with him? Do you think that you could POSSIBLY fall in love with me?"

At SOS, Leo asks David: "Are you sure my wife isn't -- are you sure she's ok?"

In the condo courtyard, Edmund asks Brooke: "So what do you think? Want to get a room at the Pine Cone tonight?"

At H&M's condo, Mateo pulls Hayley up, but she just flops around in his arms as he says: "NO!"

Irreverently submitted,

Robin "why isn't the baby crying?" Coutellier