Friday Update
May 25, 2001

PREVIOUSLY ON ALL MY CHILDREN

In the decorated high school gym, Leo quietly pleads with a reluctant Brooke: "Just let me take her to the dance. Don't hold her back. This dance is a once-in-a-lifetime!"

Outside of the boy's jail cell, Anna holds up the ring that is attached to a chain around her neck. She asks him: "What is it? You recognize this?" The boy bolts over to the bars yelling: "That's MINE!"

At BJ's Jake incredulously asks Greenlee: "Erica hired you?" Greenlee: "She takes me under her wings. Then I start up a rival company. And then she either sells Enchantment to me or she goes belly-up. Sound like a plan? I know it works for me!" She leaps into the air and pulls his head down for a long kiss

ERICA'S HOUSE

Bianca bops in and notices Erica flipping through a folder. She asks if it's Greenlee's portfolio. Erica says yes. Bianca: "Wow. Hope she could spare the five minutes it took to throw it together." Erica agrees that it's very amateurish and slapdash, but says it is also brazen and brassy. Bianca scornfully reminds Erica that Greenlee is a film school dropout. Erica also muses that Greenlee has a VERY sensitive nose for scents -- she was able to name 32 of the 35 ingredients in Enchantment's fragrances. Erica is glad she hired her before she went to a rival company. [*I* have a VERY sensitive nose for scents, too -- most of them make me gag and sputter, causing a histamine response AND headaches -- some cause dizziness -- passing a perfume counter for me is like running a gauntlet -- BLEAH!]

Bianca is horrified that Erica hired Greenlee to work at Enchantment. Erica says she did it partly for HER to protect her, since Greenlee is OBVIOUSLY up to something. Bianca says Greenlee only comes after her if she's in the way of whatever she wants. Erica says she KNOWS what Greenlee wants. Last week it was Leo and this week she picked a fight at BJ's, then came crawling to her for a job. Bianca warns Erica to keep an eye on Greenlee or she'll use the lab to blow up the world! Erica says she is VERY well-prepared for anything Greenlee has in mind. Bianca doesn't understand why Erica doesn't just pick up the phone and FIRE Greenlee's ass. Erica says because then she wouldn't know what Greenlee was plotting and cites the adage of "keep your friends close and enemies even closer". Greenlee doesn't know it, but she's stepping into the lion's den. Bianca says Enchantment is a pretty cushy den. Erica smugly says: "Well, but Greenlee won't see it that way, especially after she realizes the terms of her employment. But by then it will be too late. Her greedy, grabbing ambition will have cost her dearly because I will OWN Greenlee Smythe and every little idea that comes into that CONNIVING little head!" Bianca: "How do you plan to make that happen?" Erica twinkles, tilts her head and says: "You just watch and learn." She happily walks out of the room after caressing Bianca's face. Bianca smiles in admiration.

BJ'S

Jake and Greenlee break apart from their kiss (Jake actually takes a couple of steps back) and the guys at BJ's breaks into applause. Jake makes a big deal of wiping off the kiss and says she's not used to being the subject of public displays of affection. Greenlee: "This is momentous! Erica Kane has hired me, Greenlee Smythe, as a Junior exec!" Jake: "Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what's the catch?" Greenlee: "No catch -- I'm the hottest commodity since kiss-proof lipstick! He points out her lack of experience and wonders why Erica would hire her. Greenlee: "I've got something better -- instinct and a ripping sense of smell!" He wonders why Erica would hire a complete unknown and she says Erica has an unerring eye for talent. It will be on a trial basis at first, but she's going to WOW La Kane with her genius! Jake: "What if your performance is less than stellar?" She tells him he's a real wet blanket. He says he's just trying to see the big picture. Greenlee tells him that he just looks at the world through the WRONG end of the telescope -- her vision is larger than life! She knows what she wants and she goes after it. He brings up her recent blackmail of Bianca. Greenlee: "That is SOOOOO yesterday!" He doesn't think Erica will just forget about that. Greenlee says that one of the seven secrets of highly successful people is that they forget about the past. Jake: "No, I think Erica's the kind of person that's going to hold a grudge until she got EVEN." Greenlee says Erica is a savvy businesswoman who is not going to let personal feelings cloud her judgment. If Erica can get past the details, why can't Jake?

Later, Greenlee stands about 4 feet from a dartboard and makes several bulls-eyes. Jake says it's NOT that he doesn't think she has a lot to offer. Greenlee: "Right. That's why you're endlessly pointing out my character defects and rubbing my nose in my past like some DOG who's not housebroken!" She continues to throw pointy missiles at the wall, showing off her bulging biceps. Jake hesitatingly says that she just has a tendency to mess up -- a LOT. She says she learns from her mistakes; besides, HE's the one that told her she had to get a life. She sits down and drinks some champagne. He says it just seems like she picked this one at random without any thought. She says she HAS given it a lot of thought; in fact, she had her first inspiration today while she was getting her massage: MAKEOVERS FOR THE HOMELESS! Jake stares at her, open- mouthed. He says she CAN'T be serious! She says when she's down in the dumps, nothing cheers her up like a total redo -- hair, makeup, the works! Greenlee: "I mean, think of what it could do for people living in their cars." Jake brings up food and clothing. Greenlee throws up her hands, then pounds the table in frustration, asking if he ALWAYS has to be so PRACTICAL! Greenlee: "You're talking about food for the body. I'm talking about manna for the SOUL! Women need to feel ATTRACTIVE!" Jake: "Well, I understand that, but these are people who live out of shopping carts." Greenlee does a mini-shriek of frustration: "AAHHH!! You just don't GET it!" She says Erica DOES get it and that's why she hired her. She stomps over and yanks the darts out of the board. Greenlee calls him a peasant and says: "The Greenlee name is synonymous with money, and I am going to make TRUCKLOADS of it for Erica!" Jake leans back and folds his arms and says: "Well, just exactly how much is she paying you for your expertise?" Greenlee: "Nothing to start. But you can't put a dollar amount on experience." Jake looks skeptically condescending. Greenlee: "Think of all the contacts I'll make. Once I learn the biz, I'll dump Erica, steal all of her beauty secrets, and then I'll start my own megabucks cosmetics empire! Ha!" Jake: "Just like that?" Greenlee smugly says: "Mm-hmm. Just like [snaps fingers] THAT!" Her phone rings [it's a REALLY big one, reminding me of the one I had about 6 years ago]. It's Erica! Greenlee tells Ms. Kane that she was just telling Jake all about her fabu ideas for Enchantment. Jake pinches the bridge of his nose and shakes his head. Erica says SHE has some ideas too -- could Greenlee come right over. Jake says: "Don't tell me that that was [here he does a poor rendition of 2-snaps-up], ERICA?" Greenlee: "Poor dear. Haven't even started working for her, and she can't make a move without me." She throws a PERFECT bulls-eye and confidently gets up and strides out, leaving Jake to point in amazement at her bulls-eye.

BROOKE'S HOUSE

Brooke, Laura and Leo enter, and Laura rushes around fretting about the missing dry-cleaning as Brooke tries to get her to calm down. Brooke goes to call the dry-cleaners. Leo asks if Laura is up for this and she wonders if he's backing out. He denies it -- he just doesn't want her to overdo it. She promises only slow dances. She wants her mother to remember her happy, and she IS happy tonight. They joke about cheesy disco balls and syrupy punch. Brooke re- enters the room bearing Laura's dry-cleaning, which had been hanging on the back door. Laura is thrilled. Brooke tells her to put it on down there in the guest bedroom. Laura insists she'll be okay and will take the stairs slowly, one stair at a time. Brooke fearfully watches. When Laura is out of hearing distance, Brooke turns on Leo and demands to know what he meant in the gym when he said that Laura should have this "chance-of-a-lifetime opportunity". He waffles and she guesses that he knows. He admits he does and says he tricked David into telling him. With tears in her eyes, Brooke begs him to tell her that he didn't tell Laura. Laura doesn't know how REALLY sick she is! Leo makes some false starts to say something so they can go to commercial.

Leo asks why he would have said something -- he HATES being the bearer of bad news. Brooke says the good news is that Laura's name is now on a list and she'll get a new heart and live a long, happy life. She then tells him (and new viewers) how she and Laura met: "We met in the park, actually. She was going through the trash. She was looking for something to eat, and I bought her an ice cream cone -- which she ate in two gulps. She couldn't thank me because she was so proud." Leo: "Huh. Laura living in the streets, eating out of a trash can -- that's hard to believe." Brooke: "Well, her mom had just died in a fire in an S.R.O. [Single Room Occupancy, but I always think of it as Standing Room Only] where they had been living. And she didn't have anybody to take her in. You know what she had? She had a postcard that a neighbor had given her with a picture of Pine Valley on it [sent by Myrtle Fargate. Laura also had a crystal doorknob, let's not forget]" Leo: "Laura came to Pine Valley because of a postcard?" Brooke: "Yeah. She was trying to cope with the loss of her mom. And I had this big hole in my life, you know, from losing my daughter. And there she was. She was this teenage-- you know, this lost, angry young woman. And she said her name was Laura. It was like a gift to me, Leo. It was like she came into my life and she made me realize that the love I had for my daughter I could give to somebody else. I gave Laura a home, and she gave me everything." [Hello? Jamie? Chopped liver?] Leo shakes his head and says Laura being sick isn't fair for either one of them. Brooke starts to cry and he apologizes. She recovers and says now that he knows how much Laura means to her, he'll understand why she has changed her mind. She can't let him take Laura to the dance tonight.

Leo says Laura already said yes. Brooke says it's only because Laura thinks it will make Brooke happy if she goes. Brooke doesn't WANT her to go though. Leo says HE's not going to spoil Laura's big night, that's Brooke's job. She whines that he doesn't understand how critical Laura's condition is. [At this point I roll my eyes so hard I get a headache -- if Laura is about to drop dead any second, WHY on earth would anyone jeopardize her health even more by not TELLING her?] Leo yells at Brooke and asks if her plan is to keep Laura housebound, locked in her room and strapped to her bed for the rest of her life. Brooke: "Until she gets a transplant, YES!" Leo: "Look, Brooke, I understand why you're afraid." Brooke: "Leo, if anything ever happened to Laura, I would never forgive myself." Leo: "Whoa, whoa, whoa! What if something great happened? What if she had the time of her life in the time she has left? What if she died knowing that she'd lived?" Brooke grimaces scornfully: "With you?" He gulps back a retort and says yes. If Laura had a choice to sit out the last dance or dance like her life depended on it, which does Brooke think she would choose? Brooke: "Oh. You know, you're being awfully generous with my daughter's life." [Look who's @#$@&%) talking!] He says he's just trying to put himself in Laura's place. She says there are two things wrong with what he just said: 1) he's not dying, and 2) his offer to hold Laura's hand through this is just a little suspect! He doesn't understand. Brooke clears it up for him: "You have a reputation as a fortune hunter, and I am a wealthy woman. So what would you be interested in -- my daughter or her MONEY?" Leo bites his lip and looks away, ashamed.

Leo says he can't believe Brooke thinks he's using Laura as a pipeline to her money. Brooke apologizes and says she doesn't know why she said that. Leo's voice squeaks a high note as he says he doesn't blame her and belittles himself as a bounty hunter. He says it's fine, but she disagrees. She says her only excuse is that she's so afraid that it's easier to lash out at him than to deal with her fear. She cries and puts her hands to her face. He pulls her into a comforting embrace. She recovers somewhat and says sometimes she doesn't know who she is anymore. He says she's Laura's mother and would crawl through broken glass to protect her. Brooke sniffles some more and says: "Being a parent, it's the scariest job in the world. You know, you walk this fine line. You want to protect your children, but you know that their fate is not in your hands." Laura comes down the stairs wearing her pink halter dress. [It's not a good choice, because it emphasizes her belly -- is she pregnant?]. She does NOT take the stairs one at a time and practically runs into the room. Leo says her mom was just filling him in on how they met. She says she thought she was Miss Thing-In- Your-Face and thought the whole world owed her. [Is she talking about herself or Brooke? :-)] Laura notes that Brooke is crying and Brooke brushes it off to Laura looking so beautiful. Leo tells her she cleans up good. Laura jokes about being a former street-rat and hands a camera to Brooke to take their picture. Leo stops the action for a moment to unwrap a corsage. Brooke takes a nice digital picture of them and walks them to the door, handing a tiny blue-gray shawl to Laura. She hugs her and tells her to have the time of her life. Brooke walks over to Leo and mouths at him to take care of her. He mouths that he will and pantomimes crossing his heart. Brooke assumes a praying posture. Laura tells her not to worry. Brooke says she won't and that Laura is in good hands. She watches them go with extreme trepidation. [I notice that those are VERY steep stairs]

PV JAIL

The boy has a death grip around Anna's hand, which is around the ring, and he yells at her to give it to him. Dimitri and Edmund have to work hard to pry Anna out of the boy's clutches. She tells the brothers not to make a scene or they'll get thrown out, but she IS rattled by the incident. She notes that he can talk. The menfolk pepper the boy with questions about his being able to talk, what he wants, where he's from, etc. He completely ignores them, never taking his eyes off the ring for a second. He demands to know where Anna got it. She says it was in a box of photos her daughter was keeping. How could it possibly be HIS? He says it was his mother's. Does he EVER close his mouth? [My mouth gets dry just looking at him. I think I know now what it is about his gaping mouth that bugs me so much -- he sticks the lower lip out so far it reminds me of Bubba Bufford-Blue in the movie "Forrest Gump"].

Anna discusses the ring with the boy. She says it's a MAN's ring and probably belong to her father. It had the initials T.J.D. engraved on it, probably standing for Thomas John Devane. The Brother's Grim continue to pelt the boy with a barrage of questions and threats, saying they hope he stays there a LONG time until they get some answers. The boy picks up his mattress and slams it against wall with the drinking fountain. Anna yells at the brothers for upsetting the boy. Dimitri yells back: "I'm upsetting him? He's a paid ASSASIN. He was sent here to KILL you!" Miraculously, the boys speaks once again, desperately screaming: "No, I'm NOT!" He grips the bars, panting and nearly crying, bouncing up and down and back and forth. Anna calls for the guard and tells him to open the cell and bring him out. She and the boy stare at each other.

Dimitri grabs Anna's arm and shoves her back, saying there is no way they are getting him out of there, no matter who he is or what he wants! She says she knows what she's doing [uh huh] and the guard is right there. Edmund comes over and asks what's up. Dimitri spits out that Anna is putting her life in danger. Edmund, who moments before was like a ferret on a finger, says it's HER choice, not Dimitri's and, besides, the three of them can take him. The men sigh and Anna asks the guard to open the door and stand back. [Who do they think the boy is, Hannibel Lector?] Dimitri yells at the boy, saying that if he touches Anna, it's OVER! Anna walks over and takes the chain off, handing it to the boy [aren't things like that (chains) not supposed to be in the hands of prisoners?] He slowly takes the ring and carefully studies it, drowning in nostalgia. Theoretically, he's humming "Greensleeves", but there's no way that was coming from him. He can't even lip-synch humming! Anna reacts to it by jumping on him and demanding to know how his mother got her father's ring. The boy shakes his head and says it was HIS father's. He has amazingly white teeth for someone who's been living on the streets and hiding out. They stare at each other.

They both squint hard at each other and Anna asks if he's saying that her father and his father are the same man. Dimitri snorts that she's being played by the guy and he's making everything up as he goes along. She asks for a photo and Edmund hands it to her. Dimitri throws up his hands and yells that he can't believe she's pandering to this conman. She hands the boy the photo and asks if anyone looks familiar. The boy looks at it as if it's a bottomless ocean and Dimitri throws his hands up again, saying this is a monumental waste of time. [Dimitri is really getting on my nerves - - why is he suddenly acting like this. It's not so much that it's odd in itself, but he's been VERY blase' up until now -- it's like someone flipped a switch] The boy collapses to the floor. Anna squats down and begs him to tell her if he recognizes anyone in the picture. He stutters that the woman in the photo is his mother. Greensleeves-on-saw starts playing in Anna's head. Anna whimpers and grabs her head in pain [as did we all]. She says she remembers! Her head shakes like she has a palsy and tears well up.

The brothers also squat [is that the sound of three pairs of arthritic knees I hear?] and Edmund asks what she remembers. She says she remembers the name of the woman in the photograph -- her name was Cecilia and she was Anna's nanny. She took care of her and smelled of soap and lavender. She had the softest hands in the world and brushed her hair. She would sing Irish lullabies to her. She had a BEAUTIFUL voice. The boy stares at her, knowing what she means. [I REALLY wish he would close his mouth!] Anna continues to reminisce and says that she LOVED her! The boy almost smiles, but quickly backs off, twitching his lips and flaring his nostrils before FINALLY saying: "She sent me. She told me to find you. She said when I did, I'd know what to do." Anna: "I know what to do. I want him released at once!" They all stare.

ERICA'S HOUSE

Bianca lounges on a chair reading a magazine as Erica invites Greenlee in. Greenlee thanks Ms. Kane and Erica says she's decided to let Greenlee call her Erica. Greenlee is quite chipper as she greets Bianca. Bianca is not particularly thrilled and heaves out a "Hello". Greenlee asks if Bianca is going to the school dance. Bianca says no, but that Greenlee could always crash it like she did the Halloween dance. Greenlee laughs uncomfortably, then whirls to talk to Erica about the SCADS of ideas she has about the winter campaign. What does Erica think about the name "White Narcissus" for a new fragrance? Greenlee: "The print ads would feature a woman gazing at her reflection in the pool, but the face reflected back is a MAN'S!" Erica says it's provocative and Greenlee preens. Erica continues, shrugging: "HOWEVER, I'm afraid that I acted too hastily when I said you had the job." Erica walks across the room and says she CAN'T work at Enchantment ... without signing a contract. Greenlee is flattered, but wary. Bianca watches with a sardonic smile. Erica says it slipped her mind because her business affairs people usually handle it. She wanted to sign her personally, though -- she doesn't want her to get away. Bianca rolls her eyes. Greenlee asks about the terms and Erica dismisses them as just the standard binding contract she has all her employees sign. Greenlee beams: "Perks and parking spaces?" Erica says not exactly. It's things like confidentiality -- she's not to speak to the press or make any book deals. In short, it's really to protect Erica's privacy. Bianca finally chimes in: "So like, for example, if that slime Donald Steele cozies up to you for an exclusive, you shut HIM down or my mom shuts YOU down." Greenlee turns her head to look at Bianca and grits out a terse: "Check! Got it!" Erica gives a "what can you do" shrug and says it's the price of fame and asks her to sign the two copies of the contract. Greenlee notices all the fine print and wonders if she should have Gramps' lawyer read it over first. Erica, all hurt innocence: "Why Greenlee -- don't you trust me?" Bianca comes over to stand behind Erica and add a challenging look of her own.

Greenlee assures Erica that she trusts her. Erica urges her to sign it, saying that, if anything, that contract is a sign of the trust SHE has for Greenlee. She's taking Greenlee on as an untrained novice -- if Greenlee bombs, Erica is stuck with her, so if anything, SHE's the one who stands to lose if anything goes wrong. The phone rings and Erica steps away to answer it. Bianca gloats and leans over to goad Greenlee: "Smooth, Greenlee. Real smooth." Greenlee: "Go away!" Bianca: "No, no. I want a ringside seat to watch you finesse your way out of a job." Greenlee: "I didn't mean to insult your mother." Bianca feigns feeling sorry for Greenlee: "Of course you didn't. You were just doing what comes naturally." Greenlee: "Watch it, Binky. 'What comes naturally' is NOT your best subject." Bianca huffs that if Greenlee doesn't want her help, FINE! She stomps over to a chair and plops down to read a magazine. Greenlee waffles and asks Bianca how she can get herself out of this mess. Bianca: "You CAN'T." The one thing her mother asks of her employees is unswerving loyalty. Greenlee confidently says she can do loyalty -- she has what it takes to reach the top. Bianca says maybe, maybe not. She saw Greenlee's portfolio. Greenlee wiggles like a proud puppy and says: "And?" Bianca says that if this doesn't work out, Greenlee can always make it as a starving artist. Greenlee gathers her wits again and says: "Nice try, LES-Bianca, but I can see right through you." Bianca: "Excuse me?" Greenlee smiles and snipes: "Your mother has taken an interest in me, and you're jealous!" Bianca: "You're devious." Greenlee: "I'm smart. I'm beautiful." Bianca: "Deceitful, dishonest --" Greenlee: "I'm everything your mother WISHED you could be! Face it, hon, I'm here and I'm NOT queer. Get used to it!"

Bianca, now standing again, tells Greenlee: "Just for your 911, my mother loves me just as I AM!" Greenlee: "Yeah, right. A gender- bent female impersonator. And that's a '411'." Bianca: "Whatever." Greenlee says Bianca couldn't cut it in the family business. Bianca says she doesn't HAVE to prove herself, whereas Greenlee is DESPERATE for approval. Greenlee says she and Erica will make a hell of a team. Now SHE sits down and pretends to read a magazine. Bianca says her mother is NOT a team player and Greenlee will be just another name on her payroll. Greenlee tells her that her mother LOVES her ideas. Bianca: "Dream on!" Greenlee: "I have a FANTASTIC nose!" Bianca: "Which is stuck so high the air, you can't see what's directly in front of you! My mother can't STAND you!" Greenlee: "She hired me, didn't she?" Finishing with her phone conversation (with someone named Antonio), Erica walks up and says she's TRYING to hire her, but there is the little matter of the contract. Greenlee jumps up and signs both copies. Erica smiles broadly and thanks her. Bianca smiles slightly in conspiracy with Erica.

PV HIGH SCHOOL

Leo and Laura walk through the hall and Leo says it looks like a scene out of "Carrie". Laura giggles and looks around for buckets of pig blood. The gym is filled with balloons and a disco ball and seems to have borrowed decorative posts from SOS, not to mention the ballroom from Adam's house and former foyer from Phoebe's house (i.e., the black and white checked floor). [Was that floor also in the ballroom at Wildwind?] Laura jokes about the disco ball. Leo looks around and says there's enough crepe to hold a funeral. He realizes what he just said and apologizes to Laura. She waves it off. He confesses to her that he never went to one school dance because he moved around so much. They joke about his former datelessness. He says that while his peers were drinking cheap wine and heaving in the bushes and shagging in the cars, he was in my room listening to Mike and the Mechanics on the P.A. System, wondering if his very pretty French teacher would sneak out for a little rendezvous with him. She asks what he wants to do first, shag in the bushes or shag in the car? He suggests a dance [hey, it's a FAST dance -- not that you'd know if by the way the kids were dancing]. She says she wants to stop and take a breath to thank him for being her escort. He says he's her FRIEND, not an escort. The dancing stops and the kids all clap [what is this, the ballet?] One of the girls in the background appears to be wearing almost the exact same outfit Erica is wearing, the only difference being that the girls skirt is a slightly lighter red. Shannon, Heather and Mindy bounce over and "compliment" her dress, asking if she made it [they must be confusing her with Becca] They thought she wasn't going to be there and Laura says she changed her mind. Out of nowhere, Mindy squinches her face and does that really weird stuff with her eyes (sort rolling them, but losing control so they just slide around like a drunken cow on an icy road), cooing about poor Bianca staying home all alone. Shannon sneers that Bianca DOES have her journal to keep her company. Laura says Bianca has a LIFE and suggests they get one. Laura says she sees some girls putting the moves on Marcus and the idiots run off en masse to contain the situation. Leo claps and tells her that it was VERY well done, but he was surprised. She guesses that he thought she was going to zap them with a zinger. She says life is short and she's decided to save her energy for stuff that COUNTS. They move to the center of the floor to slow-dance.

ERICA'S HOUSE

Erica shakes Greenlee's hand and welcomes her to the business. Greenlee gushes her thanks. Erica is confidence that this will just be so profitable! Greenlee asks for Bianca's congratulations. Bianca: "Oh, congratulations. I hope the job is everything you expected and more. Much more." Everyone smiles and Greenlee says she has to fly to make herself ready for tomorrow. She asks Erica if she'll see her tenish. Erica tells her to make it eightish. Erica jokes for her to steer clear of her parking space or she'll have her towed. Greenlee throws her head back and gives a hearty, extremely phony laugh. Erica also laughs quite insincerely. Greenlee waves goodbye and skips out. Bianca and Erica exchange congratulatory smiles. In front of the house, Greenlee eyes her contract and says: "Sleep tight, Erica, because I am going to BURY you!" Back in the house, Erica tells Bianca that she did good, and now she has Greenlee Smythe right where she wants her -- right under her thumb! She kisses the contract, giggles and grins at Bianca.

PV HIGH SCHOOL

Still dancing, Laura appears to be losing steam and stumbles a little. Leo pulls her off the floor and suggests they sit this one out. She doesn't want to be side-lined. He complains that the song is just so 70s and besides he has two left feet! She says she loves it and disco rules! She drags him back onto the floor. He says okay, once around the gym. They start dancing again and this time she stumbles HARD. She quickly recovers and insists she's fine, just a little short of breath. HE insists on taking her home and leads her out of the gym. He's pulling her so quickly they are practically running!

PV JAIL

Dimitri is still in denial and says there is NO WAY they are letting this guy out of there until they know more about him. She says she knows all she needs to. Dimitri says he is LYING and not to let him pull her in. She shakes her head and says that if his mother was given that ring by his father and it's HER father's ring, then it makes him her brother. Dimitri grinds on: "He is a CON, an ASSASSIN! Don't let him get to you!" Edmund: "Hold on, hold on. We didn't know we were brothers for the longest time." [Touche'] The boy holds his knees and rocks back and forth. Anna reaches out to him. In the meantime, the brothers go off on a tangent. Dimitri needs proof. Edmund says there is the boy's blood on the blanket -- they can get his DNA and compare it to Anna's. Dimitri thinks that's a great idea -- then they'll know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he's an imposter! The adults all stand up [more creaking]. Anna insists she wants the boy OUT of there -- they can take him back to Wildwind. Dimitri yells that then the boy can take her out when they're not looking. Dimitri FORBIDS it! [Isn't the guard supposed to be in there with them? He's nowhere in sight.] Dimitri raves like an obsessed lunatic, hammering home the point that the kid is NOT going back to Wildwind. After practically curling up into a fetal position, the boy uncoils, jumps up and attacks Dimitri. Dimitri is more than ready and punches the kid to the floor. Anna yells at him to stop it. Dimitri grabs the kid and hurls him back into his cell [the odds of the kid just happening to fall thought the open cell door had to be pretty high]. The kid lands on the matressless shelf and DOES curl into a fetal position. Anna rushes in and asks if he's all right. The kid holds the chained ring and rocks back and forth, panting and looking emotionally wounded. [I.e., he is WAAAAAAAY overacting. I imagine him rolling off his bunk, onto the floor and out the cell door, coming to a gentle, rocking stall when he finally hits the bars", then breaking into song: "On top of old cellbunk, all covered with mice, I shared my mattress, with roaches and mice!"]

ON THE NEXT AMC

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In Erica's Enchantment office, Jake [still wearing his clothes from the day before] tells a surprised Greenlee: "According to this contract, Erica OWNS you!"

At her house, Laura tells Leo: "I wanted to have this one night's dance with you and just forget everything." Leo: "If that's what you want, that's what I'll give you."

At the jail, (through the bars) Brooke tells David: "I need some advice. I need some help!" [Pay attention -- is David in the cell with the slanted graffiti on the wall near the fountain? If so, he and the boy are sharing the same cell in different universes.]

Tad and Dixie kiss.

Irreverently submitted,

Robin "and he STILL doesn't have a name!" Coutellier