Friday Update
March 30, 2001

PREVIOUSLY ON ALL MY CHILDREN

Leo opens his eyes after briefly dozing in the sauna to see Liza smiling at him. He turns his head and sees Tad who then grins, with a teeth-only smile.

At BJs David begs Dixie: "Tell me that there's still a chance, that I haven't lost you. Tell me that there's some hope." Dixie: "I can't answer that."

From her bed in an as-yet undisclosed location, Leslie tells Gordon: "I'm going to get Tad. But this time, I'm not going to be a lady about it!"

PINE VALLEY HOSPITAL

On the sunporch, right next to the entrance, Joe speaks on the phone with Derek about the missing Leslie and the possibility of someone on the inside helping to slip her past Security. Considering that this is the sunporch, and therefore public, we can consider this to be another example of the Martin's indiscreet behavior when it comes to their patients and even the hospital itself. [Imagine a recovering patient, just trying to get a little sun and comfort, overhearing the Chief of Staff discussing patients that mysteriously disappear from ICU and how someone on the staff must have something to do with it.] Dixie bounces up behind him and gets his attention by tapping him. He wraps up the call and thanks her for coming so quickly. He tells her she has just won a highly prestigious award for medical research, the John B. Thurston award. She says it's a prize for DOCTORS, and asks if he's serious. Joe raises his eyebrows in answer as David shuffles in and smugly says it's true. [Didn't Dixie and David JUST leave BJS?] He says he submitted both of their names to the panel, since they did it together.

Dixie doesn't understand [no big surprise there]. David says he couldn't take all the credit himself [in a pig's eye!] and, besides, as part of the prize the hospital gets a sizable grant to continue the research. He asks Dixie to go to the award ceremony. She stutters and he says that he want's her to go WITHOUT him and accept the award for BOTH of them. He knows he's not the most popular doctor there. She leaps to his defense, of course, saying he just won a huge grant for the hospital. He says he would be more comfortable if SHE would accept the award. Playing right into his experienced hands, Dixie protests that it's not fair. She refuses and says there is no way she's going to accept the award without him. Joe watches the two of them with a semi-secret smile, seeing EXACTLY how David is playing Dixie. David smiles indulgently at her with a "that's my Dixie" look.

Joe tells David that he'll leave it to David to arrange with Dixie to accept the award. He has stuff to do; namely, Leslie's sister is suing the hospital, so has to go meet with the [long suffering, no doubt] hospital attorneys. Joe says he can't blame her. Dixie watches Joe leave, the whirls and demands to know why David REALLY submitted her name to the award committee. He says it was because she deserved it and he would not have been able to save Dimitri or advance the hormone therapy research without her help. [He's a cardiologist -- shouldn't hormone therapy be researched by an expert in the field of endocrinology?] Dixie protests that she was just his administrative assistant and didn't do anything but support him and help him keep Dimitri's secret [and she did a piss-poor job of THAT]. David: "Well, then, I guess you have to be in my shoes to know how invaluable you were." [Yeah, he would not have been able to get through a day without her, uh, bouncy "enthusiasm". The fact that she dressed like a streetwalker and bent over at every opportunity didn't hurt, either] Without breaking into a smile, David manages to say: "Dixie, when I first started my work, regenerating brain cells for hormone therapy was absolutely unheard of! I mean, this was like -- like guerrilla research!" [More like GORILLA research, IMO, given all the chest-thumping, slamming things around, and feces flinging he did. Of course, gorillas are much more considerate and gentle than he could ever HOPE to be] He tells her how exciting that was for him, and she says that it was for her, too. He says it also brought them together. Dixie: "You know, we were doing so well when we were just working together. Maybe it should have stayed that way." He pulls back with a tiny grimace.

Dixie looks at David like a puppy wanting to believe it's not going to get it's face rubbed in the carpet AGAIN as David says: "You opened up my world in a way that I never dreamed of because I never knew that my life could be so full." [yeah, of SHIT] He says she gave him support, encouragement, laughter, courage and then love, and he felt like now he could die a happy man. [Cynics everywhere roll their eyes. Crippled children hobble by the sunporch, calling Dixie an idiot. People wake from comas just to comment on what a sleazeball David is and how totally stupid Dixie is.] Dixie looks around [apparently having heard the cacophony of jeers in the background]. She half-heartedly tries to stop him, but he steamrolls on, saying that then he realized that this wasn't just a dream. He could HELP her -- he could be HER love, HER support and HER encouragement. SHE gave that to him and he can't act like he never had it! He asks if she understands that. A browbeaten Dixie blinks up a storm and says that she understands that he's making a HUGE play here. [The cacophony in the hospital rises in thunderous applause at the dimly lit bulb that goes off over her head.] She turns away, but still looks very unsure of herself. He grabs her and turns her back to him, then holds her head in his hands. He says he is NOT playing [the sound of raspberries can be heard in the background], not anymore! David: "I used to have the respect of my colleagues, thanks from patients and their families, and NOTHING else. You GAVE me everything else, Dixie, and I can't not have that now!" He says he doesn't care about the stories about them or that people think that their work was compromised as a result of their relationship. All he knows is that he loves her and it made him realize that SHE taught him how he can be someone that he can RESPECT. He feels as if he has the potential to become a person who truly deserves her, and that is the greatest reward of all. Dixie blinks and walks a few steps away. She turns and says: "You know, I had to fight Tad to work with you. I told him how important the research was that you were doing and how much I felt a part of it because I was privy to all of this information. And I convinced myself that by working for you, that I was going to learn how to do something important for somebody else -- not that being a mother wasn't important, but just -- I forgot that I was capable of doing something -- something else, that I had more to offer. That's what you gave me. But I wasn't able to accept that. You know why?" David: "No." Dixie: "Because Tad told me that the only reason that I took the job and the only reason that I kept doing the job, even though we were fighting and at each other's throats, was because I -- because I wanted to be close to you." David: "For once in my life, I hope Tad was right." He smiles at her. She looks up at him. She stops blinking, except for one long, slow semi-blink, indicating that she is, of course, starting to give in to trusting him. [The coma patients can't believe it and fall back into oblivion to escape the horror of her stupidity. Crippled children cry for their mothers and orderlies pay up on bets.]

AN UNDISCLOSED LOCATION

Leslie, looking pretty damn strong for someone who fell off a building as she awkwardly uses a walker, despite the 2-sizes-too-big wrist brace. Gordon returns with a bag of groceries complete with a skinny loaf of french bread sticking out the top. He exclaims over how amazing she is and how much progress she has made. He can't WAIT for her to get even better so they can turn state's evidence and nail that slimy creep David to the wall! He says he just heard on the radio that David just won the Thurston award, explaining that it's like an Academy Award for medical research -- it's HUGE. He wonders what the people handing out the award would think if they knew how many laws David breaks every DAY and says they have to get him NOW, and shakes several bottles of water for emphasis. Leslie hems and haws and tells him to take it easy. He talks about contacting a lawyer this afternoon to help them spin the press about it. Leslie collapses and he catches her.

Gordon helps Leslie back to a bed. She says he saved her life, once again. He says she probably pushed too hard [he didn't try to help her AT ALL until she collapsed]. He fusses with pillows and she continues to flatter him. Gordon: "Well, you know, we're in this together. I mean, David Hayward tried to ruin BOTH of us. I thought *I* had it bad. He just wanted me to disappear, you know? He tried to OFF you!" She says they are lucky they found each other. He says he's been having dreams about David, and they aren't GOOD ones. He ruminates that he never thought of himself as a vengeful, spiteful person, but now he's THRIVING on it. Gordon: "It's, like, what I LIVE for! You, too?" She takes his hand and says she will not rest until they both get our lives back and David pays for what he did to them. Gordon nods and says they are a lot alike. She earnestly agrees. Gordon: "I know people think you're an egg shy of a dozen, but that's just because they just don't take the time to really get to know you." Leslie solemnly says: "Thank you." Gordon slumps back in his ornate chair and says that if only they had met sooner, they could have changed the world together. She smiles and says they'll just have to settle for changing their world a little bit. She needs a favor from him, first, though. It's the most important thing he will ever, EVER do. She bats her eyes and holds his hand again, asking if she can count on him. His eyes flicker from her face to their hands and back.

PINE VALLEY HEALTH CLUB MEN'S SAUNA

Leo scrambles up and away from between Liza and Tad and asks if they always take meetings in saunas. They stand and Tad says only when it's important, which this is. He flaps his shirt to circulate a little air. Neither Tad (who is wearing a turtleneck) nor Liza remove their sportcoats. Tad says they are there to do him a favor. Leo asks for privacy and sits down, crossing his legs and, no doubt, flashing them as the towel gapes open. Tad sits down and they discuss their mutual familiarity with jail cells, if not prison cells. Tad and Liza mention FEDERAL prison and say that's where Leo will be if he doesn't start doing what they tell him to do, starting now. [Tad turns his head, and the silver wings on the side of his head are very clear through the steam, reminding me of Paulie Walnuts on The Sopranos, who has an uproariously funny set of silver sidewings, combed into perfect shells and held in place by what must be superglue.]

Leo, looking quite nice in his little knotted towel, gets up and starts to walk out. Tad tells him to stay and he caves, coming back in and sitting down again. Liza says he's sweating and he correctly points out that it's a SAUNA. She says this is a different kind of sweat. He yells at them to get to the point some time this WEEK! Tad sits with him and tells him that they KNOW that he found the tape of his brother playing bartender at Ryan's party last fall. Liza fans herself. Leo feigns surprise and asks if this the part where he's supposed to look like he just got caught. He says he doesn't know what they are talking about. Just then, the door opens and a beefy guy named Arnold walks in. Leo jumps up and tells them to run the story by Arnold. Tad stands, still yanking his shirt away from what has got to be pretty slick skin by this point, and tells Arnold to please leave. Arnold, looking as tough as a naked guy in a towel can look, says: "What did you say?" Tad says they need the sauna for another 5 minutes and would appreciate it if Arnold left to go lift weights or something. Arnold tells them to get the hell out of there. Tad tells him to think about it -- does he really want to start something while wearing just a towel? Arnold tells them that they are crazy, then turns and leaves.

The trio continue their "discussion". Tad and Liza pretend to think up the proper way to describe a crime consisting of someone taking a large sume of money to cover up or keep quiet about someone else's crime -- is it "accessory to a felony" or are there other things that go with it. They decide it boils down to simple blackmail. Leo asks if they see how unimpressed he is with their theory. Tad goes nose-to-nose with him and makes it clear that everything Tad loves and holds dear about his life is on the line and he won't hesitate for one millisecond to sacrifice Leo's sorry little existence and send him upstate to play June Cleaver to some guy named Bubba for the next 5-10. He asks if Leo is starting to feel a little more impressed now. Leo ponders the issue.

Leo starts to talk his way out of it, but Tad stops him. Tad informs him that he's an award-winning liar from way back and can spot one a mile away, so knock it off. He lists Leo's sins regarding the tape, including the $100k. Leo says a) there is no second tape, and b) if he had $100k tax-free, he would be sitting in a sauna in Bora-Bora, NOT Pine Valley. Tad says they know he just LOST $100K and besides, they have David's bank records-- Leo: "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! You have -- how the hell did you get David's bank records? IS NOTHING ***SACRED*** ANYMORE?" [ROTFLMAOPIMP!!!!] Tad calmly asks for the tape and says they'll protect him if he does. Leo is angry now and slams his fists into something. Liza says he has THEIR WORD on it. Leo scoffs at her, like he should believe anything SHE says! Tad adds that he has their word AND $250K for his troubles.

Leo turns away from them, but his eyes are big thinking of this new windfall. Tad tells him not to be a fool and take a dive for David. Tad: "Blood's not really that much thicker than water, not in YOUR family." David would sell him out in a HEARTBEAT. He's not worth it, and they both know it. Leo says no and that they are bluffing and he's not going to be the one to give them what they want. He slams out. Liza wails and Tad tells her that they were EXCELLENT! They have him right where they want him. He goes to the men's locker room to continue the discussion and tells her that he'll call her later.

CHANDLER LIVING ROOM

J.R. and Adam return to the house after meeting with the school counselor. Junior stomps in and slams his backpack onto a chair, grousing about Mr. Templeton being SUCH a JERK! Adam says he forgot that ALL school counselors are jerks [well, DUH!] Junior says he cut ONE class to get a cup of COFFEE -- they made a big deal out of NOTHING! Adam doesn't agree and says he's not too thrilled with J.R.'s attitude, either. He just wants J.R. to be the best that he can be. J.R. plops into a chair pouting and says he wishes everyone would just get off his case! Adam says he's sure he does, but there has to be some sort of punishment. He'll talk to Dixie and Liza too. J.R. asks if he wants him to go back to Dixie's. Adam says NO, that's the LAST place he should go -- that place is in CHAOS. There's that indiscretion with David and Tad's ridiculous involvement with Leslie Coulsen. J.R. jumps up and says that's NOT Tad's fault. Adam points out that Leslie KIDNAPPED him. J.R. says that's not TAD'S fault -- Leslie's a FREAK! Adam: "Well, maybe if he'd stayed away from that FREAK, your mother wouldn't have turned to David Hayward in the first place!" J.R.: "Hayward has my mom going crazy. It is not Tad's fault. He's done nothing but love her and tried to get back together with her. Don't blame this on him!"

J.R. says Tad messed up big-time, but he ISN'T the bad guy. He was THERE, and he KNOWS what happened. Adam says that's the point -- he's being affected by all this. He just cut school, didn't he? He's always been a model student, excellent grades, good at sports, etc. J.R. wonders if his life is over because he cut ONE bogus class! Adam says he thinks J.R. knows what he's trying to say. J.R. says he's UNREAL! Who is HE to decide who is the good parent or not? He's hardly perfect. Adam agrees he's far from it. J.R. points out that he spent his honeymoon in a jail cell with Liza -- does he think J.R.'s friends didn't know about that? He's the richest man in town -- they know when he runs a stoplight! Adam concedes that it probably isn't easy being his son. He calls J.R. "Junior" and J.R. lashes out at him for it. Adam apologizes for slipping and says it WAS his name for 14 years. He asks if J.R. is angry because he missed the wedding while he was away in the Caribbean with Brooke and Jamie. J.R. looks at him like he's a Martian and asks if Adam thinks he CARES if he missed a STUPID *WEDDING*? J.R. "And by the way, how many times do you think you've said 'I do' to some woman?" Adam: "Let's try to keep this above the waist, all right?" J.R.: "Look, I'm just sick and tired of you blaming Tad and my mom for everything! You're not exactly sitcom dad." Adam looks uncomfortable as he tightly crosses his arms and agrees. He says he has no right to judge anyone, but he's his father and he's not going to just stand back and watch him get into trouble without at least discussing it. J.R.: "Why not? You've always been good at standing back." Adam asks what that means. J.R.: "Last summer -- when you pushed everyone away -- told me you didn't want me anywhere near you. You said that I should -- pretend you were dead." Adam: "I -- uh -- I wasn't myself last summer." J.R.: "So you should know better than anybody, right? Sometimes you got to cut the people you love a little slack." J.R. looks VERY hurt. Adam nods in understanding.

Adam says that pushing him away was the worst mistake he has EVER made. And J.R. is right -- a good father would NEVER have done that, no matter WHAT the circumstances. Adam: "I told you I was going to change. I haven't changed. Tad has been a better father to you than I could ever be. I should be grateful." [He really HAS changed to admit THAT] J.R. cuts him some slack and says he knows Adam didn't really mean what he said last summer. Adam says he's sorry if he sounds like he's blaming Tad and Dixie for everything that's gone wrong -- they are all raising him together. J.R. just wishes things would all work out. He realizes that stuff DOESN'T just work out, though. He says he misses Dixie and Tad and Jamie, but it's good to be there, but it's just not the same. Adam takes the blame and says he's let him down over and over again and he has no right to ask it, but he wants J.R. to give him one more chance. J.R. looks up at him with teary, hurt and untrusting eyes.

J.R. uncomfortably says yeah, sure, they can start over. After all, he is going to be living with them (he and Liza). He plops back into the chair, being careful to look at the floor and hit his mark. They discuss how nice it will be for everyone, especially Colby (whom Adam still hasn't seen since he got back from jail), who will have her big brother around more. J.R. asks if he's still grounded. Adam isn't quite sure if he was grounded in the first place. J.R. presses the point, asking that, if he is, could it be deferred a day? He has band practice at the Lock & Save and doesn't want to miss it. [The Lock & Save? Sounds like a rave to me] Adam asks how that's going and J.R. says they are doing GREAT, just wrote four new songs and plan to cut a demo CD this summer [with all of Adam's bucks, they could cut one this afternoon] Adam is amazed and pleased at how professional it seems -- way out of the realm of garage bands [true -- they are a storage locker band -- big difference]. It gives Adam an idea. He asks if J.R. realizes how many unused outbuildings they have on the estate. He asks if J.R. and the band would mind rehearsing in one of them if Adam refurbishes one for them. He could fix it up real nice, like a recording studio. J.R. says that stuff is pretty expensive and Adam offers it as an early birthday present. J.R. thanks him and says he still has the Lock & Save thing in the meantime -- could he borrow $25? Adam gives him $50 as his "first foray into music moguldom". J.R. asks if he can go now and apologizes for cutting class. Adam says they can put it behind them and start off with a clean slate. J.R. leaves, saying goodbye to Liza on the way out. When Adam offers him a ride afterward, he says Tad is bringing him home. Adam and Liza discuss how Adam is making progress with J.R. and they recommence their honeymoon.

THE BOATHOUSE

Leo comes in, looking around to see if anyone else is there. Deciding he is alone, he sits on the bench to think. He takes the videotape out of his back pocket [OUCH! That must have hurt to sit on!] and stares at it. He thinks hard, slams it on the bench, then gets up to walk over to a boat chest. He goes back for the tape and determinedly stashes it inside the chest. He hears something, and makes a run for it. The camera pans the over way, past cherry blossoms and we see Tad walk up, watching Leo go. Tad checks for witnesses, then goes to the chest and retrieves the tape, saying: "Say goodbye, David".

CHANDLER LIVING ROOM

Liza and Adam lounge on the couch. Adam asks her to imagine they are in a room in a mansion on an exclusive island in the Caribbean and there is champagne everywhere. There are tropical flowers in every crack and crevice. She says that sounds a little funeralish. He suggests rose petals everywhere. There's a soft breeze coming in from the sea. A small, discreet chamber orchestra is playing Bach. She nixes that in favor of jazz, preferring the sax. They agree that it's perfect. They exchange sweet nothings, then get up to go to bed. He forgot to call down and order someone to turn down the sheets, so they'll have to do it themselves.

PINE VALLEY HOSPITAL

Dixie walks away from David again and says she's not sure how she feels about this, "this" being the award. She says she can't accept the award for him, but she'll accept it WITH him. He deserves the acclaim and honor. She says she accepts his making her a part of the process that is bringing him such wonderful recognition of his incredible talent. David: "Sounds like a business transaction." She smiles and says it's the best that she can give him right now. He says it means a lot that she wants to be there with him. She starts to walk away, but turns back smiling broadly and says, verging on tearful: "I don't know if anyone has EVER made me feel so NEEDED!" He whispers: "How about LOVED?" She smiles, nods noncommittally, and walks away. He tells the air that he's not going to lose her. He'll give up on EVERYTHING else before he gives up on her!

THE BOATHOUSE

Tad puts the chest back to rights and starts to leave, but nearly crashes into Gordon Feimster, who enters the boathouse. Gordon asks if he's Tad Martin, then happily tells him that he has some information that he's pretty sure Tad wants. Tad says he KNOWS him. He's the one that helped David Hayward cover his tracks, right? They've been looking all OVER for him! Tad tries to drag him off to the police station, but Gordon protests and tells him to HEAR him out. Tad talks over him and says he just wants to hear him out in front of Derek Frye. Gordon flat-out refuses and yells at him to LISTEN. He says he can take him to Leslie Coulsen, right now. Barely able to get the words out because of his anger, Gordon says: "Come with me to see Leslie, and then the three of us can go to the police, and we will nail that poor excuse for a doctor to the wall! All right? Come on!" Tad tries to gauge Gordon's sincerity and says: "I swear, if this is some kind of con --" Gordon: "Are you coming or aren't you?" Gordon leaves, hoping Tad will follow. After hesitating a few moments, Tad rushes after him.

AN UNDISCLOSED LOCATION

Theatrical props abound as Leslie sits in front of a mirror applying copious amounts of makeup and humming The Wedding March. She admires her heavily made-up face in the mirror and says: "I love only YOU, Tad. All for only YOU."

ON THE NEXT AMC

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Gillian: "Why don't we just get married tomorrow?" Ryan, looking like his manly pride is wounded: "You mean elope?"

David to Anna (who appears to be wearing a necklace) as he checks her heart: "Your heart was racing when Edmund left the room." Anna sighs.

On the Fidelity, Leo tells David over the phone: "I just got a lucrative offer from Tad and Liza. Seems they're interested in a certain videotape in which you're the star."

Leslie lies back seductively on the bed, preening, and, in a sultry voice, tells a wary Tad: "I knew you'd come."

Irreverently submitted,

Robin "thankful there were no Anna/Alex/Edmund scenes today" Coutellier