Friday Update
March 2, 2001, Part 1

PINE VALLEY HOSPITAL

In Alex's and David's office, Dixie takes off her coat, preparing for a long lecture from the Maricks about the evils of David. She asks WHAT the problem is and orders them not to go through a list of David's shortcomings. Alex tactfully says she's sure Dixie doesn't need any more bombardment since she and Tad are probably getting it from all sides [oh, Dixie's getting it from all sides, all right] Dixie says she thinks of them both as friends, but they've been going through something long and complicated, and it's clear that Alex and Dimitri have made up their minds about her and David. Dimitri says they are privy to some info about David's past [I think David's past (and present) is probably aptly described as a privy] Dixie gives a sarcastic laugh, rolls her eyes and waves her arms around as she says: "Oh! Well, that's NEW! Now we're on to his past -- most people tell me what a jerk he is NOW!" [which apparently means nothing whatsoever to her, but she'll punish TAD for his PAST sins until the day he dies] She continues: "Why do you want to dredge up ancient history about a man that you share an office with, Alex?" Alex: "He's a wonderful doctor." Dixie: "But a horrible human being, right? ... Look, you don't need to warn me off of David. I know who he is with ME, and isn't that what matters?" [she's got a brain like a giant sieve] Alex says they are both grateful for her help and they OWE her. Everything she is about it say is because they care about her and are trying to help. Dixie nods, but closes her mouth and eyes tightly, along with her ears and [say it with me] HER BRAIN! Alex goes on to tell of Siobhan and that she blames David for Siobhan's death. Dixie snidely asks if they think he's going to kill HER. Alex sighs in frustration at Dixie's pigheadedness.

Alex protests that she does NOT think David would physically harm Dixie in any way. She knows it's hard for Dixie to hear. Dixie wants to know why she said it, then. Alex says it's because she really feels that David is responsible for Siobhan's death. Dixie says she apologizes, but she's going to have to stop Alex -- she's sorry about Alex's friend and she's sorry Alex thinks David is such a threat, but this is ringing just a little false with her. [Well, the acoustics must be pretty good inside that cavernously empty head of hers] Dimitri makes one-handed air-mudpies as he emphasizes that they wouldn't be saying these things if they didn't think they were true [What things? All they've said so far is something vague about a friend of Alex's that died a very long time ago, with no details whatsoever (not to Dixie would ever LET them tell her)] Dixie asks why Alex works with and shares an office with David if she thinks he's such a threat [Hello? How long has Alex actually BEEN in her office?]. And didn't David SAVE Dimitri's LIFE? [Considering how insufferable Dixie is being, she really shouldn't go around wearing thin scarves knotted at the neck] Dixie: "And you still think, though, he's a bad man and I shouldn't have anything to do with him?" Alex: "It's not that simple." Dixie: "Well, you tell me what it is because, you know, the whole Tribal Council of Pine Valley has weighed in on this before you came back to town!" [and yet she's still surprised and indignant] She says that more than once David has been a port in a storm for her. Dixie: "He doesn't tell me what to do or how to think or what to feel." [At this point I physically reach into my television set and grab her scarf myself, deftly attaching it to a winch that's angled over the 3-story tree in my yard] She says that's more than most people in this town, including every one of her friends and everyone in her family has done. [I fire up the BBQ] Dimitri now uses his hands as a pastry cutter to finely chop his air-mudpies as he tells her they are TRYING to warn her about WHO David IS. She plays the lifesaver card again. Dimitri: "Yeah, yeah, it was, and I'll always be grateful to him for that. Dixie, I don't have blinders on about this guy. I mean, whatever good he's done for his patients, for me, for you, there IS another side to him!" Dixie closes her eyes and mouth again in long-suffering martyrdom. Dimitri continues: "And the longer you don't look at that, the more pain it's going to cause you. Alex and I are trying to protect you from that IF we can!" Dixie says that she just wants everybody to leave her the hell ALONE! She yanks the door open an storms out. The Maricks sigh.

Upon hearing David urge Leslie's sister, Pam, to sign a DNR order so that they can disconnect any life support apparatus, Jake rushes in, telling her NOT to sign it. He introduces himself as the attending physician. David has the gall to tell him that he's interrupting a very serious discussion. Jake ignores him and asks Pam: "Do you know who this man is?" Pam: "He's one of Leslie's doctors, Dr. Hayward." Jake: "Do you know that some people think that he's the one who tried to kill your sister?" David is deeply offended: "Who the hell do you think you ARE, Jake?" Pam: "What? He saved her life -- he told me -- when she went into cardiac arrest, and the nurses told me that he did --" Jake: "Yeah, yeah. Did he also tell you that he was on the balcony when she fell? Did he happen to mention that he let her go?" Pam: "Oh, dear God!" David: "Pam, don't believe any of these disgusting lies! They're not true!" Jake: "What were you doing now, Hayward? Just now, what were you doing when I walked in, huh? How much coaching did you have to give this poor woman to get her to sign off on her sister's life support?" David blusters that he was just explaining things to Leslie's sister and that SHE was the one who informed him of Leslie's wishes; something JAKE would do if this was HIS case, which it is NOT! Jake: "Something that I would do? You have breached more ethical and legal boundaries than I could squeeze into a lawsuit, Hayward!" Pam demands David to tell her if it's true about him being on the balcony. She gets pissed off and can't believe he never said a WORD! Jake says it's because he was trying to finish what he started on the balcony and trying to get her to sign off on it and sanction it. David protests that it's NOT TRUE! Pam wants to know why David is allowed anywhere NEAR her sister, then! Jake says they are working on THAT. David puts on an exaggerated calm face and says Jake is just trying to slander him and it's part of a personal vendetta. Jake ignores him and says it has nothing to do with her sister -- David is trying to kill Leslie to shut her up about what happened. Jake: "Leslie has the goods on this man. If she were to ever wake up, he would lose his license to practice medicine and he'd be going to jail for a better part of his life!" Pam: "I don't know what to believe!" David looks like he's about to pop as he starts breathing hard. He blah-blah-blahs about unsubstantiated charges against him [as Leo said, doesn't David EVER get tired of saying that?] David turns back to Pam and assumes a praying position, telling her that what Jake is doing right now is OOMPLETELY unprofessional, and he apologizes for him. He tries to hustle her to his office. Jake calls to stop him, but they go into the hall, with David shucking and jiving the whole time about taking care of everything. Jake follows them and tells Pam that if she turns off the life support on Leslie, she will NOT be doing and act of mercy and she will NOT be doing what Leslie wants -- she'd be KILLING her sister! David: "How DARE you, Jake!" Pam stares. David looks outraged at Jake's impertinence, but he's sweating and his eyes are darting as he tries to think of a way to contain the situation.

Jake glances into Leslie's room through the window. Pam tells him: "Is that what you tell ALL the families of your patients with living wills -- that if we sign the consent forms we're KILLING our loved ones?" Jake says of course not. He doesn't believe that Leslie is in an irreversible coma -- it's too soon to tell. David launches into a spiel about Jake butting into a case where he doesn't belong and, being the hospital's top cardiologist, HE knows that Leslie cannot make it -- she WILL die, and being kept alive is against her wishes. He says Jake's problem is with DAVID. Dixie walks up and overhears. Pam must feel like a ping-pong ball as Jake counters that David is losing ALL of his medical objectivity. David wants her sister to die, and he wants to use HER to make it happen! Pam tells BOTH of them to STOP it! She says she doesn't know WHAT to do, but she DOES know that she doesn't want EITHER of them to help her decide! David puts a hand to his head in desperation and turns his head away. He's shocked to see Dixie standing behind him. He stares at her, trying to gauge her reaction, then looking very sorry that she had to see this [I'm sure he IS sorry]. He switches gears and, ever the gentle, compassionate doctor, tells Pam that he's sorry, and that's all he can say. He walks dejectedly back to his office. Dixie looks at Pam, glares at Jake, then trots after David.

Ironically, the Oprah promo immediately following this scene has Oprah saying: "Imagine your face hits the concrete 75 miles an hour! It's building Humpty Dumpty back again!"

Back in the office, Alex chastises Dimitri for almost spilling the beans about Anna to Dixie. He says Dixie can be trusted [oh yeah -- she went against EVERYONE'S wishes to tell Alex where YOU were] Alex says her sister's safety depends on her remaining hidden. He says that would not happen if Dixie knew the truth about David. She agrees, but she's not going to sacrifice her sister just so they can clue Dixie in [heh, heh] Alex: "We tried to tell her --" Dimitri: "And she did not hear it!" He says Dixie has NO IDEA of what David is capable of and David is BLACKMAILING them [and?] She brings viewers up to date by saying that if they tell Dixie that her boyfriend drugged everyone on the yacht, he'll go out and tell the entire world that Anna is alive. He doesn't think that Dixie would repeat it to David if they told her. Alex: "WHAT? In your perfect universe, we'd tell her that she's falling in love with a RAT and she leaves him without any explanation?" Dimitri: "Oh, now we're going to get a little snippy, right?" He does a little 2-fingered air-typing. Alex: "Because you're being an idiot." Dimitri: "Thank you very much." She says she loves him, but he doesn't seem to understand the gravity of the situation. They continue to argue. He says Dixie didn't even blink an eye [actually, just the opposite] when they told her about Siobhan. Dimitri says that they can't just let Dixie go into a full-blown relationship with a pathological liar. If they tell her, then a little bitty door opens up [the only door in DIXIE's head is the one in the back where all the sap gushes out (a monumental feat for SAP)]. His hand movements are working overtime, WAAAY more overt than Dana Carvey's ever did while imitating George Bush, Sr. Alex is yelling now and says: "ALL RIGHT!!!!" She asks that Dimitri let Anna get back on her feet again and then they can expose David and parade him through the town square if he wants. [Considering it's been many, MANY years since the explosion that injured Anna, just how long does Alex think it will take to get her back on her feet? I'm thinking the year 2025, and that's only if they bury her standing up] Dimitri asks if that will be too late -- what if Dixie wrecks her marriage, walks away from her family and into the arms of David Hayward? How are they going to feel then? [This entire town has a totally warped sense of priorities. Pam is leaning toward pulling the plug on her sister, angry that Jake thinks they should err on the side of caution, and Dimitri is willing to have his sister-in-law die so Dixie's feelings won't get hurt. Trust me, Dimitri, Dixie WILL get over it -- sure, her entire family will be nearly mortally wounded in the fallout, but DIXIE will be fine after crying for a while and trying a new hairstyle and color, having washed that man right out of her hair] Alex appears to ponder the matter.

ERICA'S OFFICE

Shannon's face looks thunderous as she hisses at Bianca: "Did you HEAR what I said before, Bianca?" Bianca: "Nobody threatens me, Shannon." She turns to Erica and apologizes for having to tell her, but it's true, Shannon IS taking drugs, and she'll ruin the Teens Against Addiction campaign and everything Erica has worked so hard for all these years. Shannon twirls and insists Bianca is lying because she's jealous of Shannon taking her job and getting all the attention. Jack and Brenda excuse themselves and Shannon keeps babbling about feeling sorry for Bianca and always being nice to her and how she is totally straight, straight-straight and drug-straight, and her friends all take drugs, but she just walks away. She goes on and on and on, faster and faster and more desperately until you want to shove a dirty gym sock in her mouth. Erica turns to Bianca for a rebuttal. Bianca tells her she doesn't have to take her word for it -- Erica knows what to look for. Erica walks up to a now terrified Shannon. Shannon is breathing hard and squeaking: "What? WHAT?" Erica shakes her head in sorrow and says: "Oh, Shannon. Your behavior. Your pupils are dilated. You're high." Shannon's pupils ARE dilated -- an optometrist has been on the set with an eyedropper. [I suddenly notice that Shannon has big ears and wonder if that's a sign of drug use]

Erica turns away from Shannon and Shannon begs her to listen. She took something earlier, but she didn't KNOW that she did. Erica: "You didn't know you took drugs?" [This from someone who has been drugged innumerable times over the years] Shannon backpedals, saying she hardly ever takes ANYTHING, and she doesn't even know what she took. She doesn't even LIKE it and she'll never do it again! Erica sadly shakes her head and says she's sorry. Shannon, completely misreading her, giggles and says: "That's ok. You don't have to be." Erica calmly corrects her, saying that she's sorry Shannon takes drugs. She points out that Shannon took drugs KNOWING that she had a meeting with Erica and KNOWING that she has a morals clause in her contract. Shannon: "Listen, I really can explain!" Erica: "No, not to me." She says that Shannon wants to be involved in a campaign against drugs for teens, and yet she gets high on the morning before she meet with Erica. This is a terrible, TERRIBLE sign. She goes to her phone and says she's going to make sure Shannon gets the help she needs. Shannon panics, saying she CAN'T tell her PARENTS! Erica says she HAS to. She's also going to suspend the entire Young Enchantment campaign until she can think things through. Shannon: "You can't suspend it NOW! I'm Ms. Young Enchantment!" Erica: "No, not anymore." Shannon covers her face with her hands and wails: "Oh! What am I going to DOOOOO?"

Jack walks in and says, for one thing, Brenda will try to keep this out of the news and, of course, has canceled the coveted magazine interview. Erica reassures Shannon that she and her family will probably be able to keep this to themselves, and she should consider herself lucky for that. Shannon, hands on hips, says: "Lucky? On what planet?" Erica says what she is doing is illegal -- CRIMINAL. She meant what she said -- she WILL try to get her the help she needs -- she'll commit to that. She asks Jackson to drive Shannon home and tells Shannon that she'll call her parents and explain to them what happened. Shannon cries and runs from the room, slamming the door. Jack slowly follows her, stopping to whisper "Very good" to Bianca who is clearly unhappy about having to do what she did. She says she'll be going now -- Erica must be swamped with work. Erica stares at her like she can't believe Bianca was so brave and grown- up to have done what she did. She rushes over and hugs her lovingly. Bianca smiles.

Later, on a couch in the office, Erica tells Bianca that she was incredibly brave. Bianca demurs [but she should probably use this opportunity to request a bodyguard]. She says it was the only thing she could do. Erica says she is VERY proud of Bianca! Bianca says she couldn't just stand idly by and watch Shannon lie to Erica -- and she didn't appreciate her threats, either. Erica is alarmed: "What threats?" Bianca says Shannon was just talking. She thinks Shannon thinks she can still get to her with name-calling, but once your face is on the cover of every supermarket tabloid under the headline "yep, she's gay," there's not a lot anybody can hold over you to get even. Erica shakes her head in wonder at Bianca's mature attitude. She says she knows how hard it is for her and how everyone teases her at school and how horrible peer pressure can be -- still, Bianca thought of HER and how she could do the right thing. She marvels at Bianca's adult choices and wonders how she got so smart. Bianca says she doesn't think it has anything to do with being smart -- she just knows who she loves. Erica blinks back tears and Bianca asks what's wrong. Erica: "Oh -- something Shannon said this afternoon. I -- I didn't do right by you at all, did I?" Bianca looks perplexed.

Erica says she hurt Bianca when she chose Shannon to be Ms. Young Enchantment over her. Bianca says she didn't mind. Erica insisted she HURT her. Bianca says she got over it and knew not to take it personally for very long. Erica shouldn't beat herself up over it. They went through a rough patch, but they're over it now. She KNOWS how Erica feels about her. Erica: "But I did act impulsively, and you should NEVER act impulsively with your children's feelings!" Bianca grins: "Well, you just -- you hate being wrong." Erica covers her face and agrees that she DOES :-) What she REALLY hates, though, is hurting Bianca. Erica says she had expectations for Bianca that were HERS, not Bianca's, and she knows that now. It's all okay with Bianca. They rehash the Shannon outing, and Erica says she'll never forget what Bianca did. Bianca says neither will Shannon, but she really DOES want to help her.

Bianca remembers she was supposed to meet with Laura AND she had a date with Uncle Jack. Erica says that's fine, and she can resched with Uncle Jack. Jack walks in, on cue, and is dimly lit while the rest of the room looks like an atomic flash just went off. It makes him look like he has a George Hamilton tan. Oh wait -- I think he DOES have a George Hamilton tan. He says Shannon jumped out of the car and ran into her house like she was being chased. Bianca says her goodbyes, but not before Jack can tell her how BRAVE he thinks she is. She grins and says they can talk amongst themselves -- about her, then leaves. Jack gathers the two of them had had a talk. She says yes, but is worried that Shannon might bother Bianca about this. He thinks she can BET on that, but she can also bet on the fact that Bianca can handle it. Erica looks like a mama bird who is satisfied that her baby can fly as she says that she thinks Bianca can handle just about anything.

DAVID'S HOTEL ROOM

Dixie runs into David's room on his heels, breathlessly and sarcastically thanking him for waiting. He says he asked her not to follow him. She asks him to look at her, and the wounded, sensitive little boy says he'd rather not. She demands to know why he won't look or talk to her. He says the look on her face at the hospital told him all he needs to know about what she thought about what she overheard. He turns back to her and she asks why he doesn't just ask her what she's thinking [she thinks?] instead of making up her mind for her. He makes a list of the key points she had to have overheard at the hospital. Totally dejected over the upcoming loss of his patient, he asks what more does she want. She says she wants him to tell her what he's feeling. [manipulative?] He says he feels like he's lost the only thing that matters to him -- HER. He says he risked EVERYTHING for HER. That makes him the man who loves her, but doesn't deserve her and who has lost her for good this time. Dixie, of course, is a veritable Stradivarius as he expertly fiddles with her microscopically tiny brain.

PINE VALLEY HOSPITAL

DAVID'S HOTEL ROOM

David walks across the room, looking into a shining, faraway place that is rapidly diminishing, as he ruminates that he TOOK AN OATH! First do no harm! He gulps down what surely would have been a choking sob had he not been man enough to suppress it. She asks if he's saying he broke that oath with Leslie. He turns back to her, his voice breaking as he says he didn't have anything but his practice before he met her. She knows that better than most people. All he had was medicine -- it meant EVERYTHING to him. She says it still does, but he protests that SHE matters MORE! He says Leslie tried to KILL her -- he SAW Leslie throw her over the balcony! He STILL sees it more than he sees Leslie begging him not to let her fall from the balcony. He HAS to wonder -- did he REALLY do everything that he could? He heaves a despairing sigh. He can't get that image of Leslie trying to hurt her out of his mind. It ruled him then and it's ruling him now. Dixie softly approaches him and tells him to stop that. David puts his head in his hands, trying to stop the tears from flowing by pinching the bridge of his ample nose. Dixie points out Lesle's single-mindedness and all the people she hurt. David haltingly says that Jake accused him of losing his medical objectivity. Dixie says she heard that too. David fights his emotions as he reiterates that Jake says he tried to get Leslie's sister to aid his motives in killing Leslie. Was he right? David's eyes dart calculatingly for the briefest of flickers before he looks beseechingly at Dixie. For all the tears he's choking back, his eyes are dry as a fossil. His eyes are squinched as he struggles with his moral angst. David: "Was he right? Did I compromise everything, Dixie, just to hold on to you?" Dixie takes a breath of deep, all-encompassing empathy for David. [I pour gasoline on the BBQ]

BJS

Bianca walks in and is roughly grabbed by Heather. Bianca asks what HER problem is. Heather says BIANCA is the problem. Bianca: "That's very original. You want to let go of my arm before I go medieval on you, Heather?" Heather and Mindy look mean and nasty as they say that Shannon could have been SO BIG if Bianca hadn't wrecked it for her. Bianca tells them to get their facts straight -- Shannon did it to HERSELF! She showed up high for work and she works for Bianca's mother. Shannon walks in in a slovenly manner, pushing past Bianca and practically knocking her over. She still has the kiddie barrettes in her hair, but has mercifully taken down the Chrissy Snow pigtails. Despondent, Shannon says it smells in there! [FAC BJS ON] I think I know EXACTLY where that smell is coming from, too. Now where did I put that baking soda? [FAC BJS OFF] Shannon distractedly suggests they leave. Heather grabs Bianca again and tells Shannon that she needs to deal with this loser! Shannon clomps away and Heather roughly shakes her hand off of Bianca, telling her that it ISN'T over! Bianca asks what she's going to do, tell her mommy? Bianca looks at Heather and Mindy as if they had maggots crawling all over them, then walks away. The girls twirl in unison and clomp over to Shannon next to the jukebox. Heather asks her what she thinks they should do. Shannon: "I don't know. What do you think the payback is for ruining someone's LIFE? She won't know when, she won't know what, but that gay freak is going to be sorry she was ever born!" Her eyes flicker over Bianca and the girls walk out like a precision drill team. In the mirror, Bianca looks uneasy.

ALEX'S OFFICE

The couple have stopped fighting and discuss library books. Dimitri's cell phone rings. It's Edmund. Something has happened that they apparently don't plan to tell us about any time soon. The duo quickly leaves, with Dimitri saying he'll tell her on the way.

DAVID'S HOTEL ROOM

Dixie and David sit on the arms of the loveseats [I wait in vain for the arms to break off, dumping them on the floor] and David begs her to tell him what she's thinking. [Dixie's brain: "I like candy"] She asks him if she's a fool [the entire set breaks out in hysterical laughter and the camera nearly falls on the floor due to the uncontrolled guffawing of the cameraperson] He asks what she means. She says she doesn't know ANYBODY that likes him. Nobody who knows about them has anything good to say about him -- EVER. Dixie's brain shows feint activity as she says: "They tell me that you're dangerous, that you're out for yourself, that you hurt people, break rules to get what you want, that you don't think about anybody but yourself. But I defend you. I tell them that you don't see the man who'd do anything to save a life. I give the same speech over and over again, and -- you're going to ask me if Jake is right, if everybody else is right and I'm wrong? I can't do that. I -- you have to tell me who you are, who you want to be." David watches her with a little Tad- like frown. He says he'll tell her anything. Dixie: "If you want things to work out between us, you HAVE to tell me the truth." He looks at her like a little kid who knows he's done something really bad, and is worried that his mommy doesn't love him anymore. She asks if he WANTED Leslie's sister to have them turn off the life support because he wanted Leslie dead. David's face pinches up a little more. Did he want Leslie dead because maybe she has something on him? More squinching. DID he let Leslie fall off that balcony? He's squinching so hard blood is about to spurt from his eyes. Did he drug all the people at the party with Libidozone? He shakes his head a little, as if to clear it, then looks down and away as if to say "It's complicated." Dixie: "Did you do that, David? Was it you?" He looks at her, his eyes pleading with Mommy not to stop loving him.

LESLIE'S ROOM

A nurse rushes into Leslie's room at Joe's behest. Joe: "Where is she, nurse?" Nurse: "What?" Joe: "You ARE the I.C.U. Nurse on call, are you not?" Nurse: "Yes, I am." Joe: "Where is Miss Coulson?" He looks dramatically at Leslie's now empty bed where her life-support equipment lies discarded on the bed. Nurse: "Dr. Martin, I have no idea." He ascertains that "her doctor" did not have her taken out for tests. Joe swings into action, telling her to shut down the floor and notify Security -- someone has taken this patient off life support!

ON THE NEXT AMC

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Anna snuggles up to Edmund's hand and sleepily says: "You're so kind. I love you, Robert."

Ryan confronts Leo: "What did you do with my money? What happened?"

At the hospital, Jake tells Pam: We're going to find your sister." Greenlee, standing next to them, says: "You know who would love this? The 6:00 news." Jake: "Greenlee --"

David tells Dixie: "I'm sorry, Dixie. There are a lot of things that I shouldn't have done." Dixie cocks her head forward, looking like the RCA dog.

Irreverently submitted,

Robin "in energy-deprived California" Coutellier