Friday Update
January 26, 2001, Part 2

ERICA'S HOUSE

Although it seems impossible, Susan Lucci appears to have lost even MORE weight -- either that or her cheeks have been liposuctioned and over-rouged, because they are looking downright SHARP. Erica still can't locate Bianca and wonders if she went to New York again. She can't reach Leo on his cell phone, either. She apologizes to Jack for getting on his case earlier and says she's doing the best she can. Jack: "I know that. I do. I'm just afraid you're so anxious to get the answer here that maybe you're not hearing the question your daughter's asking you." He says maybe Bianca is asking for her help [gee, ya think?] Erica says Bianca is angry at her ALL THE TIME and she's going around making these great big proclamations about herself when she's too young to know it is true. And she's MISSING! Jack points out that she could walk through the door at any moment, and when she DOES, Erica should do everything she possibly can to KEEP her there. The doorbell rings and Erica rushes to answer it, starting to say Bianca's name [what, Bianca doesn't have a key to a door that's always unlocked anyway?] It's Greenlee. When Erica sees her, she holds up her hand and shrilly tells her she doesn't want any. She starts to slam the door, but Greenlee says she has news. Erica says she doesn't WANT her news, she doesn't have TIME for her news, LEO doesn't want her news-- Greenlee says it's about Bianca and Erica's hands fly to her face with fear. Erica: "Oh, please! She's all right, isn't she? Please let her be all right!" Greenlee: "Yeah, yeah, she's peachy. She's at the mall." Erica: "The mall?" Greenlee: "Yeah, she and her weather friend -- you know, snow, sleet --" Erica: "Rain?" Greenlee: "Yes. How do you feel about body piercing?" Erica and Jack practically shove Greenlee out of the way as they run out carrying their coats, but not bothering to put them on, despite Erica's aforementioned sleeveless top. Greenlee shivers (her jacket isn't zipped) and smiles, saying they'll thank her later.

TAD AND DIXIE'S HOUSE

Dixie gulps and says maybe they need some time and a little help. Junior comes in and is happy to see them both standing there. He's THRILLED that they are going on the trip that he assumed had been cancelled. Dixie warns him against broken legs. He catches on that she's not going and loses all his enthusiasm. He glumly says maybe he should stay home with Dixie, and Tad and Jamie can go alone. Dixie pleads with him to go and says she'll have a great time pampering herself. He thinks it would just be really weird for her not to be there. She thanks him for worrying about her, hugs him and tells him not to worry so much. She reminds him that Tad is going to be making a mall run, and Junior goes to get whatever he wants to bring.

Dixie and Tad awkwardly discuss room numbers and telephone calls and he says he wants to take the 4x4. More foreshadowing about icy roads. She thanks him for doing it for the kids and says it really means a lot. Tad has already packed Junior's gear in the car and he explains that they really have to get going to make good time. Dixie watches with barely concealed pain. Junior and Dixie bid a fond farewell and Tad quietly tells her to try not to worry about "us".

Dixie goes back to her laundry, but is interrupted by a knock at the door. Amazingly enough, it is NOT David Hayward. Rather, it is Palmer and Vanessa, there to stir up shit and tell her things for her own good. Dixie says Tad and the boys just left to go skiing. Vanessa: "Are you sure--" Palmer cuts her off by sharply saying her name. Dixie says she's sure and asks if everything is okay. Vanessa starts to say something, but Palmer steamrolls on about snow and being great for skiing. He asks how things are going. Dixie thinks quietly for a few moments and says they need a lot of work, but she thinks Tad wants to come back to her, like she wants him to come back. Vanessa: "Oh HONESTLY, you poor deluded girl (gasp)--" Palmer cuts her off again and Dixie demands to know what Vanessa means by "deluded". By would she be deluded for wanting Tad to come back? Vanessa is chomping at the bit to tell her, but a look from Palmer just makes her gasp and toss her head in frustration. They have an entire non-verbal conversation (consisting of things like "sit!", "Stay!" "Heel!" "Shut up!").

Palmer begs Vanessa not to speak, but Vanessa says Dixie should not hear it from someone out on the street -- it should come from them. She tells Dixie that she and Palmer overheard Tad at the Valley Inn in what sounded like a lover's quarrel with that squirrel, Leslie Coulsen [in insult to squirrels everywhere!] -- the woman was half-undressed in the HALLWAY! Dixie looks nonplussed. Palmer and Vanessa continue to tersely bicker about breaking the news. She relates that Tad was saying "I'm sorry I ever slept with you in the FIRST place!" Dixie makes a grim face and turns, getting an ever increasing look of dread on her face. With her back to them, she asks if this was a few months ago after everyone got sick after the yacht party. Vanessa says it was just a short while ago. Dixie is crushed, then disillusioned and angry, but still facing away and keeping control for the moment. She asks if Tad came to her just now, right away after seeing HER? Palmer says he's never been a fan of Tad, but he certainly never wanted this to happen. Is there anything they can do? Maybe they misunderstood. Dixie finally turns back to them. She firmly and resolutely says she's SURE they didn't misunderstand. She thanks them for stopping by and asks them to leave so she can be alone. She's ever the thoughtful hostess and she thanks them again and again, like a cabin attendant at the end of a flight, as she holds the door open to usher them out.

She calmly walks back to fold her laundry some more, then stops, puts her head in her hands for a moment, then throws the laundry basket across the room [I can tell you from experience that that is NOT a satisfactory throw -- this kind of anger really requires actual breakage, and plastic and cloth just don't cut it]. She paces, pulling at her hair, rubbing her face, then sitting on the couch to stare mournfully at their wedding photo. She makes a decision, grabs her keys and runs out without so much as a sweater. At least HER thin top has sleeves.

HAYLEY AND MATEO'S ROOM AT ADAM'S HOUSE

Mateo shakes the pink letter as he comforts Hayley and says that the woman is CRAZY. Adam says he's taking care of her once and for all, TONIGHT! Hayley says they should go and confront her together like she wants. Sounding like a citizen of the "Gulch" town in Blazing Saddles, Liza says Hayley is right, they should all go together as a family, since Arlene is trying to ruin the ENTIRE family; they have to show an united front. Howard Johnson--er--Adam says Liza is right. In an unusual display of intelligence, Mateo asks if it's a trap. Adam says she can't trap ALL of them. [Oh no? Ever heard of fire on a boat? An explosion, maybe? Sea serpents? Greenlee?] Hayley, also showing unusual intelligence, actually puts her leather jacket on before they leave.

PINE VALLEY MALL

Erica rushes through the mall looking for Bianca. She HAS put on a coat, though. Bianca and Rain bounce back into the food court in front of them and Rain jokes about the small ring that now adorns Bianca's face like a semi-precious booger. Erica sighs her name in relief and rushes over. Bianca does NOT look pleased and asks what she's doing there. Erica notices the nose-ring and, horrified demands to know what she's done to her BEAUTIFUL FACE! Bianca stutters. Rain: "Hey, what about mine?" Erica says she MUTILATED her daughter! Jack chimes in that he doesn't want to be a hypocrite with his tattoos, but he wasn't 16 at the time and there's a little thing called Parental Consent which the store should know about! Bianca laughs tells them it's okay and she pulls the clip-on nose-ring off. She says she didn't do anything, so there's no reason to get freaked out. Erica begs to differ, since she stayed out all night and cut school with this, this MALL RAT! Bianca says they've just been hanging out. Erica says she knows Rain sleeps on the street -- did Bianca do that? Bianca says no, she just couldn't deal with school today and wanted to spend some time alone. Erica points out that she WASN'T alone, she was with this-- Erica turns to Rain and says: "And YOU! You are OUT of my daughter's life -- for GOOD -- effective yesterday! DO YOU UNDERSTAND? You are never to come near my daughter again!" Erica hauls Bianca (who is wearing her "GAAA!!" face, away. Rain cheerily says: "Later, Bianca!" Jack turns to her and tells her that, considering what just happened, he thinks the possibility of "later" is pretty slim. She puts on her "Damn!" face and turns away as he leaves. [I wonder how her green jacket stays so pristinely clean and pressed]

BACK AT ERICA'S HOUSE

Bianca slams Erica for being so mean to Rain. Erica says Rain encourages Bianca to do irresponsible and dangerous things! Bianca puts on her "GAA!!" face again, makes that thwucking sound with her tongue and teeth and turns to Jack for assistance. He holds up his hand and says he doesn't think she should stay out all night or stay out of school all day to shop for a nose-ring! Bianca spits back that RAIN gets along just FINE! Erica says she doesn't CARE about Rain. Bianca: "I KNOW!" Erica says Jack had to file a missing person's report and he says he now has to cancel it -- she stayed out all night and they love her too much to be casual about this! Bianca: "All right, all right! But I'm not six years old -- I can take care of myself!" Erica: "Oh really? Panhandling? Sleeping in the streets? Telling anyone who'll listen that your a sixteen-year-old lesbian?" Bianca: "A-HA! THAT'S what this is about, isn't it!" Erica insists it is not and that, to quote Bianca, she is "SO GROUNDED" that it's not even funny. Bianca nastily says "Surprise, surprise!" and runs to her room in a huff. Jack rubs the bridge of his nose and Erica paces in frustration. She's rails on about how Bianca is acting. Jack tells her she just has to be patient. Erica: "WHAT? She's becoming a MONSTER!" [Welcome to hell, Erica] Jack says that every parent, God willing, eventually has a teenager and hers just happens to be a little more inventive [I haven't seen any evidence of that yet -- except for the lesbian part, she's been pretty run-of-the-mill, actually]. Jack ushers her to the kitchen and says he'll make her a cup of tea. She snidely asks if he doesn't have anything stronger than tea [it's YOUR house, Erica, you tell HIM]

Bianca sneaks down the stairs and opens the door. She had heard Rain throwing pebbles at the window. Rain tells her she has to bolt -- TONIGHT! She can't do the shelter scene anymore, it's too cold to sleep on the street, and the security guard at the mall tossed her out. She has to rail it now, but she wanted to say goodbye. Bianca says she can't do that. Rain says normally she just leaves. Bianca: "I thought you said the railcar thing was DANGEROUS!" Rain: "I'll handle it." Bianca says "No WAY!" and pulls her inside, saying she'll stay there. Rain balks at Erica's imminent reaction. Bianca says the place has, like, 200 bedrooms-- she's staying the night, and that's IT!

PINE VALLEY MALL

Tad and the boys walk into the food court as Jamie tells him about Junior pushing David Hayward off the barstool. Junior says he TOLD Jamie not to say anything. Tad is perplexed and wants to know why Junior wouldn't want him to know. Junior says he was afraid Tad would get mad -- Mom, too. Tad reluctantly says he guesses this is the part where he's supposed to say getting physical to get even isn't a very good idea. Junior brightens and says he did good, though, didn't he? Tad barely stifles a grin and says yes. HOWEVER, he doesn't want him going anywhere NEAR David Hayward again -- if he gets mad, come to Tad with it. Junior agrees. Tad says that, in the meantime, they should use their energies to make things right back at home. He's not making any promises, but anything is possible. They leave to hit the slopes.

THE PIT

Dixie walks in rubbing her arms (but her nipples are completely non-erect, despite the freezing temperatures and a soft-cup bra). Bud asks if she's okay and the waitress asks where her coat is. She says her car got skidded off the road. He wonders if it's that one in the ditch outside [no, it's in the ditch INside]. the waitress wonders if they should call a tow-truck. Bud says they can try, but he thinks she'll probably have to stay there until "this thing is over" (more foreshadowing of the storm and it's consequences [maybe a giant wave will swamp The Fidelity!] Bud offers her a drink and she requests coffee. As she sits and stares out into the storm, David Hayward walks up and rubs her shoulder, asking if he can help. She looks up at him, gulping in pain. Adam's PI, Duffy, walks in. Bud spies him (so to speak) and asks if he's still looking for Arlene. He says she's was going to some boat, the Fidelity. She makes him nuts! She's there now and has a red coat. Duffy remembers Adam saying: "I need you to find Arlene before the police find her. The change of plan is this: I never want to see her face again." He thanks Bud and walks out.

THE FIDELITY

Hayley, Mateo, Adam, Liza and Marian walk in with trepidation. Adam asks what the devil Palmer is doing there (with Vanessa). Palmer says Adam's ex-wife sent them a note telling them to meet her there at 8pm if they wanted to get Vanessa's necklace back. Hayley says she sent them ALL notes -- what she wants to know is WHY. "GOOD QUESTION" says our intrepid Lt. Frye as he walks in, "it's not every day you get a handwritten invitation to a confession." Adam demands to know what he's talking about. Derek reads the note: "'Come to the Fidelity at 8pm if you want to see the guilty punished' -- don't all speak at once!" Vanessa and Palmer look perplexed -- the Chandlers and Santos's all look sideways at each other like a PV crowd at a wedding when the preacher asks if there's any reason why a couple shouldn't get married.

ON THE NEXT ALL MY CHILDREN

David whispers to Dixie that she needs him as much as he needs her. He grabs her and kisses her. She kisses back.

On deck, Vanessa walks up to a blonde in a red coat and jerks her around, exclaiming: "There you are, you THIEVING TRAMP! Honestly!" She is surprised to see that it's Hayley.

Jake shrugs and tells Gillian she's pregnant. Gillian looks flummoxed.

Irreverently submitted,

Robin "flummoxed: another cool word" Coutellier