Friday Update
January 19, 2001

PREVIOUSLY ON AMC

Bianca to Erica (psychiatrist is also in the room): "TELL HER how you feel about having a gay daughter -- TELL HER!!" Erica: "I've never been so frightened of anything in my life!"

Ryan: "I'm giving you that wedding I promised." Gillian: "I could get married in Las Vegas in one of those Elvis places and still be the happiest woman in the world!"

Mateo reads a note next to Hayley, presumably left by Arlene. The note reads: "I am as close as your next breath. I can get to you whenever I want." Mateo: "Oh, my God!"

VALLEY INN BAR AND GRILL

Leo walks in and is surprised to see Gillian working there. She informs him that she's already made $3 in tips! He jokes about it and Ryan says it's mad money. Leo tells her that means it can be spent in a madcap way. She says it's going straight into a savings account where it can confound interest. Ryan corrects her and interjects that his own bank statement is pretty darn confounding. Leo then hands Ryan some faxes and Gillian gets back to work. Leo says he guesses he can't ask for an advance on his salary for a while then. Ryan points out that Leo has a LOT of money since Greenlee bought out his half of the loft. [Huh? Exactly how much money did Leo put into it in the first place? Hmmm, let's see ... multiply by ... carry the 2 ... equals ... NOTHING!] A light bulb turns on over Ryan's head and he asks Leo if he'd like to see that money work for him -- he just got a hot tip on an investment.

Before Leo can answer, Adam interrupts and asks the same question many of us were asking, namely, is Ryan putting in a 1/2 day? Why isn't he on the yacht conducting business? Ryan says he's meeting a client. Adam scoffs at the idea of Leo being a client. Ryan says that Leo is his new assistant. Adam doesn't quite believe it. Leo says he has great people skills and orders Adam to welcome him aboard. Adam asks what kind of scam Leo is trying to pull this time.

Adam says he'd rather gargle glass than have Leo on his payroll. Leo holds out a glass and asks "Straight up on on the rocks?" Ryan snickers. Adam says the last time Leo worked for him, it was a disaster. Leo says it was no picnic for him, either, having to hurt Stuart and Marian. Besides, he doesn't work for Adam, he works for Ryan. Ryan says Leo gets things done -- he's already got the computer network up and running and processing requests faster than they can fill them. Adam says HE's the one who signs the paychecks. Leo promptly pipew in: "You know, I'm glad you brought that up. Since I've proved myself indispensable, I think it's time we talked salary. I was thinking something high five figures with full bennies, of course -- retirement, pension plan, you know." Adam turns to Ryan and says this is the reason his business was in the tank when he took it over. Ryan points out that Adam didn't "take it over", he SOLD it to him, and if he didn't micro-manage every move they make, they might actually be able to get something DONE. Adam gives him until the end of the quarter to get the company in the black or they'll BOTH be out on their butts and he'll get some Silicon Valley guys to take over [they'll be available, too, since we won't have any electricity, so gas can't be pumped to the trucks to take it to the gas stations, whose pumps won't be working to pump it into the vehicles, which will all be stuck at intersections with non-working lights, trying to get to non-existent jobs because no companies will have electricity to run the lights, computers, door locks, telephones, etc. Without gas to power the trucks to bring food to the markets, where it will rot without refrigeration anyway, not to mention skyrocketing prices that we can't pay, in any case, since cash registers won't work, we'll all starve. Look for us to be moving to YOUR state soon. That won't make a lot of difference, though, since the collapse of the California economy will cause the entire US to sink into a depression. Sorry -- I think too much.].

As Greenlee walks in and Adam stalks out, Ryan vows he will NOT lose his company to that man [too late]! Ryan vents to Leo about Adam and Leo tells him he's preaching to the choir. Greenlee's head swivels to them, then over to Gillian waiting on tables. As Gillian strides by her, Greenlee tosses ice on the floor, which causes Gillian to slip. Greenlee grins.

Ryan and Leo help Gillian to pick up the mess on the floor. Leo notices Greenlee and suggests a connection, but Gillian insists she just wasn't looking where she was going. Gillian asks about Adam and Ryan brushes it off as Adam just getting off on power plays. Leo goes over to Greenlee and asks what's she's doing. She says it's a bar and she wants a drink if she can get anyone to wait on her -- it's so hard to get decent help these days. Ryan comes over and asks what she's doing there. Leo: "She's thirsty." Greenlee says she's surrounded by her two favorite men -- she feels like Scarlett O'Hara at the Twelve Oaks barbeque. Ryan says maybe they'll get lucky and someone will start a war. She says she thought Adam just did that. Then she starts in about Gillian being forced to work as a barmaid. Ryan corrects her -- Gillian is a WAITRESS. Leo bends down to her, picks up an olive-spearer and says: "Greenlee, think of something to do with this little plastic swordy thingy-dingy, ok?" He and Ryan walk out, leaving Gillian at Greenlee's mercy.

Outside the bar, Ryan and Leo discuss the investment opportunity -- Ryan is sure enough about it to invest $10k he doesn't even have -- does Leo want in? Leo: "Well, I'm a sucker for two things -- fast women and easy wom-- I mean easy money." They power-shake.

Later, Ryan walks in with Stan Berringer and introduces him to Leo. Stan sizes Leo up and asks if he's a player. Leo thinks for a second as he chomps peanuts and then says he likes the odds. Stan says he'll increase his seed money by tenfold. Leo hands Stan an envelope with $25K and Ryan hands him one with $10K. No paperwork is involved, apparently. Stan says he'll give it to their investor and get in touch in a couple of days. Stan leaves. Ryan tells Leo he is a TRUE bull-artist. Leo says in a couple of days he'll be a true bull-artist with a big, fat wallet. Gillian walks up and asks what was in the envelopes. Leo says that was their cash and pops more nuts into his mouth. Ryan signals over Gillian's head that it was the wrong answer and Leo smoothly continues after swallowing: "Analysis of the advertising rates for ID.com."

Greenlee suddenly starts bellowing: "Hey, you! WAITRESS! I need some SERVICE over here!" They all turn in her direction. Gillian takes a big, annoyed breath and marches over, exhaling loudly before saying: "Is there a problem?" Greenlee viciously snarls: "I ordered a White Russian! This is a Rusty Nail! I demand to see the manager!" Gillian's jaw works and she briefly looks away.

In the meantime, Leo asks if there's a reason why Ryan doesn't want Gillian to know about the deal. For that matter, should HE be worried about it. Ryan says she's just a worrier and he'll tell her later.

The manager has appeared at Greenlee's table and asks Greenlee if there is a problem. Greenlee rags on how Gillian is doing SERIOUS damage to the bar's reputation, bringing the wrong drinks and then getting her grubby fingerprints all over the glass. Gillian points out that they are HER grubby fingerprints. Greenlee leaps on that: "Do you hear the way she speaks to me? How could you tolerate such insubordination?" Man: "Gillian, Ms. Smythe is a highly valued patron of this establishment [apparently he's never seen or heard of Gillian or Dimitri or any of Dimitri's family]. One more incident like this, and you will be terminated!" He tells Greenlee her drinks are on the house and he walks away. Greenlee is happy, giving a smug head tilt ala Marcia Brady. Leo has hovered over the scene and walks to the bar to pick up a Bloody Mary as Gillian asks Greenlee if she's satisfied now. Greenlee says no, but she'll have another drink. She tells her to take that one away and bring her a Bloody Mary. Gillian walks away. Leo pretends to walk past Greenlee's table toward something else, then whirls and "accidentally" spills the drink all over Greenlee and her nice white top. She jumps up shrieking at him and calling him an idiot. Leo: "Oh, I'm sorry! Did you want celery with that -- I'm sorry -- or a twist?" You can hear Gillian laughing at her, not unlike when she fell, all oiled up, in the sand on the beach last summer. Gillian and Ryan continue to laugh, with him putting his arm around her. Leo smiles and sticks his tongue out at Greenlee, giving her nyah, nyah gestures.

ERICA'S HOUSE

[As with most scenes involving Erica and Bianca these days, I rely heavily on quotes because most of it is too good to summarize.]

Bianca asks if Erica is afraid of her. Erica says no, she's afraid of losing her! They are shown in profile, and Erica looks like a stick figure standing next to Bianca. The shrink, Pamela Trent, says it's not easy to admit our fears, but it's a major step toward resolving conflict. Bianca doesn't know what to say. Erica says to tell her she's not going to lose her. Bianca asks how she can even say that -- she's loved her her whole life -- her feelings haven't changed because she told her she was gay! Bianca: "But YOURS have." Erica: "That's not true!" Bianca: "Mom, you're angry with me ALL the time! You can't even stand to look at me!" Dr. Trent: "Erica, how do you feel about what Bianca just said?" Erica: "How do I feel? Well, when every dream you've had for your little girl vanishes -- it's decided. I mean, it's done. It's out of my hands. I don't think that my feelings count here." Bianca: "Mom, they matter to me!" Erica: "Bianca, you made an announcement that altered our lives. I know that you say that nothing has changed and that it's not about me, but I'm your mother and I am affected by your actions, your words, the choices you make for yourself. And our life is NOT the same -- from the silence at the breakfast table to the awkward kisses good night. And every time you go into your bedroom at night and close the door, I can feel that I'm losing you! And the break between us widens day by day, fight by fight. I'm losing you to a world I can't even begin to comprehend!" Bianca: "Have you ever reached for MY hand across the breakfast table? When I kiss you good night, YOU'RE the one who turns away! When I close the door behind me, I'M the one who cries myself to sleep at night because I miss you SO MUCH! And I pray that you will come into my room and that you will hold me and that you will tell me that everything is ok, that you still love me the way you used to!" Erica: "Of course I do! Of course I still love you the way I did! And how could I do those things, Bianca, when you shut me out?" Bianca: "Mom, I'm still here! I'm still here!" Erica: "But it's not the same. We're not close. Not the way we were." Bianca: "Because you keep pushing me to change, Mom! You're pushing me right out of your life!"

Erica: "How could I push you out of my life? You ARE my life!" Bianca: "I can't be that either, Mom. I can't be what you want me to be." Erica: "Can you understand that I've had dreams for you and plans for you ever since I can remember? Things for us to do together, mother-daughter things." Bianca: "Mom, we can still do mother-daughter things. We can - - we can go shopping and riding. We can go to movies together." Erica (sniffling now): "We certainly wouldn't be shopping for the same things. I mean, we'll never shop for a trousseau together. We'll never spend a day at Lacy's together picking out a china pattern or -- or a wedding dress." Bianca: "Well, what if I meet the right girl and we fall in love and we decide that we want to spend the rest of our lives together? You can help us set up our house. You can help us pick out the silver and the linen --" Erica: "It would not be the same thing." Bianca: "Why not?" Erica: "Because." Bianca: "Because why? I think I know why. It's the same reason that you don't have any close girlfriends." Erica: "What? What are you talking about?" Bianca: "You -- you turn to men mainly when you need somebody to talk to, when you need a shoulder to cry on." Uncle Jack and Dimitri, David -- I don't think that you trust women the same way that you do men." Erica: "Dr. Trent, Bianca has seen me hurt many times." Bianca: "What does that tell you about yourself, Mom?" Erica: "That it takes a great deal of courage to give your heart to a man and risk that it might be broken." Dr. Trent: "Is that what you meant when you said that you felt like this was your fault?" Erica: "Dr. Trent, this session is not about me or my quote/unquote problems with men." Dr. Trent: "On the contrary. It's very much about you." Bianca looks at Erica. Erica stares a little, then looks away.

Erica walks over to Dr. Trent and says she may have a less-than-perfect track record with men, but that really has nothing to do with the situation at hand and she has NO problem attracting members of the opposite sex! Bianca looks down and sighs. Her face falls and she starts to walk away, knowing that this discussion is futile. The doctor tells Erica that she understands she has a hard time keeping the relationships together. Erica: "Well, it is hardly MY fault if the men I choose don't live up to my expectations!" Dr. Trent: "Perhaps you set your expectations too high." Erica: "Well, *I* have no trouble living up to them!" Bianca whirls and says: "But Daddy couldn't -- and *I* can't either! Erica says that Bianca was scarred deeply by watching their marriage disintegrate and that's why she's now afraid to commit to a man. Bianca says that is SO not true! Erica condescendingly says she thinks she hit a nerve or Bianca wouldn't be so defensive. Bianca: "I HAVE to defend myself, Mom -- you WON'T!" Erica: "Bianca, if you would just hear me out, then maybe you would understand." The doctor tells Erica to LISTEN to what her daughter is trying to tell her. Erica lashes out: "I have done nothing BUT! But so far I haven't heard one thing that makes any sense!" Dr. Trent: "The objective of family therapy is --" Erica: "Is for the THERAPIST to remain OBJECTIVE! Now, it is clear to me, Dr. Trent, that you are taking my daughter's side against me!" Bianca watches her, any slight hope of progress slipping away. Dr. Trent: "I'm sorry you see it that way." Erica: "I'm sorry you wasted our time!" The doctor tells Bianca to give her a call if they want to give it another chance, and Erica shows her the door. Erica firmly closes the door, shaking her head is disgust as she re-enters the living room. Bianca says family therapy didn't work -- now what do they do? Erica stares.

Erica mutters that she thought Dr. Trent would be more helpful. Bianca says she's tired and she doesn't want to fight with her anymore. Erica: "We don't have to fight, Bianca. If only you'd keep an open mind!" Bianca: "ME? Mom, I walked into an AMBUSH tonight. You spring this therapist on me without giving me ANY notice or asking my permission! It's like what you did when I was little, remember? You told me that we were going to a carnival, and instead you took me to the hospital to take my tonsils out!" Erica: "Oh, Bianca, because I didn't want you to be afraid. I was trying to soften life's rough edges for you." Bianca: "That is not your job, Mom. Your job is to love me and to give me direction, not take over my life and play amateur therapist!" Erica: "Fine. What we have to do is we have to find another therapist, one who has the proper qualifications." Bianca: "You mean someone who is going to tell you exactly what YOU want to hear! Mom, save yourself the money. Get a ventriloquist's dummy and sit it on your knee!" Erica: "That is NOT funny, Bianca." Bianca: "Do you see me laughing? [*I* laughed] Mom, I HATE the way we act around each other!" Erica: "So do I." [There is a standoff moment here, like when my former sweetie and I were discussing soaps. I said they were like books that never ended. He said "Exactly!" I said "Exactly!", but we had different viewpoints.] Bianca: "Did you mean what you said, you know, about me going back to modeling for the Enchantment campaign?" Erica, sincerely: "Of COURSE I did. I'll tell Shannon that you changed your mind. But, look, I want to be perfectly straight with you (she blanches a little at the gaffe). I mean I want you to know exactly what you're in for. We're going to do a lot of P.R. And since Donald Steele's big expose in the press, I mean, obviously the press is going to be asking you a lot of questions about your personal life, so -- so we'll rehearse, and then you'll be ready with the right answers." Bianca: "'The right answers.' You mean that you want me to lie about myself. I will pass. You tell Shannon knock herself out. I'm going to bed." Erica: "Oh, Bianca, please! PLEASE! Oh!"

THE SANTOS CONDO-O-LUV/DEATH TRAP/CANDLE WAREHOUSE

Hayley sits up and reads the note, then gets up to walk across the bedroom. Mateo turns on the lights [you can douse those 500 or so candles now -- how do these people breathe with all that waxy smoke? Don't their smoke alarms ever go off?] Hayley says Arlene is trying to make her confess. Mateo mentions Tina, who enters the room on queue, rubbing her sore head where she had been knocked out. Hayley rushes to get info from her, but Tina doesn't remember. Tina asks where all the candles came from. [Hayley: "Our spare bedroom is filled to the rafters."] Tina helpfully points out that the room looks like a shrine for the dead. Mateo says they should go to the hospital to get her head checked out. Tina picks up the phone to call the police instead and Mateo, ever mindful of her possible concussion, roughly yanks the phone away, whipping her around in the process. He says she doesn't want to do that. Hayley gapes and Tina looks confused.

Tina asks if he's already called the cops and he says he doesn't want to get them involved in it. Tina protests that someone knocked her over the head and turned the place into a creepshow! [TURNED it into one?] Hayley nervously says maybe Tina is right -- maybe they should call ... wait for it ... DEREK! Mateo says they should think about it while they take Tina to the hospital. Tina is frustrated and says that's not necessary, she'll just take some aspirin and have Jake check her out when she goes to work tomorrow. They need to report this. Hayley starts rocking back and forth and moaning/whining that she wishes this was just a dream and that somebody would wake her up! Tina says she knows they think this was Arlene's doing, but Hayley has her own TV show -- what if she's being stalked by some nut job? Hayley: "Arlene IS some nut job!" Mateo says that's why he's going to take her to someplace safe -- Adam's house, where they have recently beefed-up security. [BWAHAHAHAAAA!!! Didn't they JUST leave there after "Arlene" put that sentimental ashtray in Colby's crib? That place is as secure as a house of cards!] Hayley says it's NOT safe there -- she can get to her there if she wants to. Tina is still on her cop shtick and Mateo tells Tina to GO TO HER ROOM [I kid you not] -- go back to her condo and lock the door and forget about what's going on over here. He's NOT calling the cops. Hayley pathetically apologizes to Tina for getting hurt and moans that it's all her fault -- everything is all her fault! Mateo hands Hayley her jacket and drags her out, asking Tina to put out the rest of the candles. They leave. Tina blows out 3 candles, then picks up the phone to report a break-in.

ADAM'S HOUSE

Mateo and Hayley sulk in and Winnifred explains that Liza is down at the gatehouse. Hayley appears to be clutching a pink security blankie. Winnifred offers tea, etc., but Mateo brushes her off. They go into the living room and Hayley demands to know why he's trying to get rid of Winnifred. Does he suspect the staff let Arlene in? She insists they are loyal to her father to a fault. Mateo says they all hate Arlene, too. She then shifts gears and asks what happened at the bar. He tells her about Arlene paying some guy to lure him there. Hayley says it's another way for Arlene to come between them and she can't shake this feeling that she is EVERYWHERE, watching them. Maybe they SHOULD call the police. Adam walks in and asks why, what's happened now? [Why didn't they hear the front door? It's only a few feet away.] Mateo does that weird jaw/lip maneuver that he's so fond of lately and says that Arlene has struck again.

Mateo explains what happened at their candle-infested condo and shows him the note. Adam keeps blustering about how do they know it's Arlene. Mateo says Hayley says it is her mom's handwriting and the same as on the note found in the crib. Hayley: "Yeah, I used to have this cat named Comet [Hayley's Comet -- Charlie Brent gave it to her] who got this mouse once and was, like, batting the mouse around. And sometimes the mouse would get away and the cat would let it think it was escaping, and then the cat would pounce on it again. And that's what I feel like I am. I feel like I'm the mouse waiting to be pounced on by the cat, and I just -- I can't take it anymore. I really can't." Mateo says he won't let Arlene do this to her [you haven't stopped her yet, dickweed]. Hayley says it's too late -- she's everywhere. He says that it's NOT a ghost -- if it really IS Arlene, then she'll trip up and they'll catch her. Hayley says that then she'll go to the police and it will be all over, which is why SHE has to go to them first. Derek already knows something's up. Adam says they've already ruled that out. Besides he's had the locks changed (he hands them both a new set). He's already hired a PI. Hayley says it won't matter, because Arlene will find a way. The doorbell rings and Adam goes to get it, assuming it's the new PI, Duffy Olifant (and it is). He introduces them and says Duffy has done work for him in the past and is very discreet. Duffy says he's up to speed -- is there anything they'd like to add? Hayley: "Are you a married man?" He says yes and she tells him to watch is back -- Arlene's favorite prey is married men. There's an uncomfortable moment [is there any other kind in that house?], and Adam says Duffy will be keeping an eye on Hayley, too, from a distance. Duffy asks about her schedule. Hayley looks like she's going to puke and excuses herself to go upstairs. Mateo will fill him in on the schedule when comes back downstairs. Adam gives Duffy a picture of Arlene. Duffy thinks she's a good-looking broad and Adam agrees -- she's a part-time party girl and part-time black widow -- she's lethal.

When Mateo comes back down, Duffy says he'll start at the bar where the guy saw Arlene. They walk him out. Adam walks Mateo back into the living room, arm around his shoulders, assuring him that Duffy is a good man and will take care of it. Mateo says Hayley is a wreck. It's out of hand -- maybe they SHOULD call the police. Adam yells "NO!!" Hayley will spill and confess to murder before they even read her her rights. If the cops find Arlene before they do, she'll damn Hayley to hell with her sob story. Mateo says to let her talk -- it will at least prove Hayley didn't kill her! Adam says there would still be a trial -- does Mateo really want Hayley to go through that? Mateo says Adam has the best lawyers who will convince them there were extenuating circumstances -- it can't be any worse than what Hayley is going through right now! He says Arlene has proven that she can get close to all of them, even Colby. Is he willing to put his daughters at risk? Adam stares with his mouth open.

Adam says he would DIE before he puts his daughters at risk. Mateo tells him to be careful what he wishes for, blah, blah, blah. Adam says Arlene wants money. Mateo says she would have shown up a lot sooner if that was the case -- she has a score to settle with Hayley. Adam insists he'll have his P.I. find her, pay her off, then he'll have his private jet fly her off half-way around the world. Mateo says if he doesn't, he's calling the cops. On cue, the doorbell rings. Adam opens it [all that beefed up security and not a peephole in sight] and Derek barrels in, saying they need to talk. He goes into the living room, says Tina told him what happened a the condo, and demands that Mateo tell him what's going on between him, Hayley and Arlene Vaughn. Mateo works his jaw.

CONDO-O-WAX

Tina and Derek walk into Hayley and Mateo's bedroom. Tina says H&M didn't want to bring the police in, but something in there is SO not right! He asks if they gave her a reason for not bringing the police in. [If Derek KNOWS H&M don't want to report anything, why is he still there asking questions?] Tina points out the trashed living room. Tina goes to get something to show him and he wanders around actually opens the NIGHTSTAND DRAWER! She runs back in, saying: "It's GONE!" Turns out she's talking about the doll with the noose. She blabbers about how she wanted to call the police but Hayley didn't want to, saying she deserved it. It comes out that Arlene is suspected of doing all these things, and Derek busily writes this down. Tina says Arlene is back with a vengence and Hayley is completely undone. Derek thinks very, very hard, appearing to be working on the square root of PI.

ERICA'S HOUSE

Erica is leafing through a photo album, lost in reminiscing over Bianca as a little girl. Bianca walks into the room, carrying a suitcase. Erica doesn't look up, but tells Bianca to look -- she found a photo album with pictures of Bianca's first dance recital! She gushes about the polka-dot dress and how much Bianca loved it and how she probably still has the dress somewhere! Bianca stares at her, stone-faced. Erica finally looks up and sees Bianca dressed to leave and carrying the suitcase. Erica gets up and asks what that stuff is. Bianca says she's leaving. Erica asks if this is another joke or test! The audio and video gets wobbly and it becomes clear that this is a dream. Bianca: "It's the story of your LIFE, Mom! You just can't keep people around. You FORCE them out of your life!" She goes over to a desk where there are photos of many of Erica's men (7 in all) and turns them over, one by one: "Your dad, my dad, Uncle Jack -- all the men that you say you loved." Erica: "I did love them! Bianca, I loved them with all my heart!" Bianca: "But they couldn't love you back, Mom. You made it IMPOSSIBLE! You expect too much, and you give back FAR too little. You're a FAILURE as a woman and as a mother!" Erica: "Bianca, no! You don't mean that!" Bianca: "I mean every word! I wish to GOD that I weren't your daughter! She runs out of the house. Erica yells: "Bianca! Come back! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE!!!" The camera shows Erica's hands on the photo album and pans up to show her sleeping fitfully on the couch.

In reality, Bianca enters the living room and checks out her mother sleeping. She kneels down and look s at her with pain and love on her face. She reaches out to Erica to touch her hair or face, but before she can make contact, Erica starts mewing and tossing, begging Bianca not to leave her. Bianca gets up, picks up her jacket and walks out.

Rain is waiting for Bianca on the porch. Bianca thanks her for waiting and Rain says she's glad Erica didn't wake up when she tossed the rocks at Bianca's window. Bianca is really glad she came by. Rain asks if she and her mom went another ten rounds and Bianca says she's RELENTLESS and wont' be happy until Bianca comes home with a hunk on either arm! Rain says she can't help her there, but if she's up for some mindless fun, she's her girl. Bianca looks back at the house, then says: "Yeah, let's go!" They trot off.

THE PIT

Duffy shows Arlene's picture around. He asks Bud (the guy who scammed Mateo) about her and hands him his card. Duffy walks out and the guy crumples the card, tossing it over his shoulder. The camera shows a pair of half-booted legs traipsing in. This time the legs are skinnier than before. Bud hails "Arlene" and asks if she's going to save him a dance. The boots stop momentarily at this, then walk over to the bar to stand flirtatiously next to a pair of jeans (not Bud's). More and more leg is shown as she tuns and walks away from the bar. Bud tosses back a drink, sets it down and does a macho setting-himself-to-rights move before moving across the room with a look of lust on his face. The booted legs slowly and seductively meet his booted legs in the middle of the room and they start dancing. The camera pans higher and higher, finally showing the red velveteen miniskirt, the purse on the long gold-plated chain, and a tight top, finally stopping to show Hayley dancing with Bud. With a deeper voice than usual, she says: "Come on, Sweetie, put some MUSCLE into it! You KNOW what muscle *I'M* talkin' about!" She gives a throaty laugh and he joins in as the camera pans up and back.

ON THE NEXT AMC:

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Hayley has her head tilted WAAAAY back as she looks lazily and seductively at Bud, who says: "What are we hanging around THIS dump for?"

Ryan: "Tell me right now what it is, what you want, and I will give it to you." Gillian flirts: "You're in for a surprise!"

David to a grim-mouthed Dixie: "Tad will never love you the way that I do. Just give me a chance to prove it."

Junior looks down, hurt, and asks Tad: "Are you going to leave us?" Tad looks grim indeed.

Irreverently submitted,

Robin "gee, who ever would have thought it would be Hayley?" Coutellier