PREVIOUSLY ON ALL MY CHILDREN

Judge to Erica: "You'll be fitted with an ankle cuff. Your movements are to be confined to your home and your office."

In bed, Leo tells Greenlee: "I want to know that you're mine and only mine! I don't want to wait for the shoe to drop."

In the WildWind stables, Mateo tells Edmund: "We have a pretty good line on what makes Proteus tick. Our plan is to make him good and mad."

In David's hotel room (after David has a hissy fit upon finding Vanessa in the act with her chauffeur in HIS bed) Vanessa tells him she knows all about his secluded cabin in the mountains: "I know what you're up to, David. I could bring it all down crashing around your ungrateful head!"

WILDWIND

The Crystal Ball has begun. Hayley returns from the stables and sets up to do a scene for The Wave, adjusting the bodice of her strapless yellow/gold dress. She starts off with a boring interview with Edmund. While he drones on about the foundation, she's distracted by Mateo arrogantly walking in with Simone hanging on his arm. She and Mateo pretend to glare at each other.

ERICA'S HOUSE

Looking decidedly unglamorous in a bathrobe and wearing her hair in a ponytail, Erica holds the remote and watches the interview with Edmund. [Huh? Hayley had to start over with the cameras because she was distracted, giving the DISTINCT impression that it was being TAPED, not shown LIVE.] The doorbell rings and Erica clicks it off after hearing Edmund say: "-- as I was saying, Hayley, this year's ball promises to be the most successful and glamorous fundraiser that we've ever had." Erica does a Marcia Brady hair toss and spin, saying: "Not THAT glamorous -- **I'm** not there." She opens the door (without looking to see or asking who's there, of course) and is surprised to see Chris. They stand there freezing and chatting about not being at the ball. She finally invites him in and they flirt. She reminds him (and us) that she can't go to the ball because of the ankle bracelet. He says her digs are a lot better than county lockup. [She looks GREAT not all decked out as usual -- very natural and pretty] Chris stands behind her, keeping her from looking as he takes off his overcoat, revealing a tux underneath. He walks back in front of her and says: "If the princess can't go to the Crystal Ball, then you bring the ball to the princess. Ta-DA!" [I don't know why she'd WANT to go to the CB -- something really bad happens there EVERY YEAR, without fail -- oh well, at least she doesn't have to wear a bustle or cow-catcher]

Later, Chris brings in a box and flowers. He laughs with glee over the fact that he did NOT buy the flowers at the deli. He whips out a CD of Crystal Ballroom-type music for them to dance to [not so -- it's MUCH better than the music at the CB] and gives her a purple ornament for the tree. He pulls out a green disposable camera and makes suck- up, commentator-type comments, asking her to pose for the paparazzi and tell him who made her dress. She alternately keep turns away and hides from the camera because she's in her bathrobe or poses. Well, okay, maybe just a few photos. Then she goes upstairs to change into something fabulous. He tells her she ALWAYS looks fabulous. After she goes upstairs, he comments that this may be the last time she has fun for a LONG time.

Later, when Erica returns, she's dressed in a simple black dress and a Sharon Tate-like 60s hairdo. Chris is lighting candles, but stops to be wowed by La Kane. [There is a different painting over the fireplace now, NOT the portrait of Erica -- how long has that been there? Did Bianca take the other one to use for a dartboard?] He suavely compliments her and kisses her hand, then asks her to dance to the beautiful music on the stereo. He jokes that she was WONDERING about his dancing. She denies it, but he says she's lying and calls her Pinocchio [he must have seen that Christmas Day 1980s episode with her old nose]. He dances very well, though, and asks how he's doing. They both agree that the other one is wonderful as they slowly dance and snuggle.

DAVID'S HOTEL ROOM

Anna walks in and a disheveled David tells her to leave it alone. She refuses. She must be in financial difficulty, because she apparently couldn't afford a second long sleeve for her simple black dress [and I do mean SIMPLE -- nothing even REMOTELY interesting -- it looks like a highnecked jumper to which someone absent-mindedly ADDED a single sleeve. I've seen more interesting clothing on cloistered nuns and Amish widows] She says the maid told her that there was a lot of noise and she wonders with whom he was fighting. David is coming unglued and yells at her to DROP IT! He throws up his hands and yells: "WHAT ***IS*** IT WITH YOU? I MEAN, ALL YOU PEOPLE -- YOU ALL THINK THAT YOU CAN CONTROL ME!! WHAT IS IT WITH YOU?" She calmly asks "What people?" He again yells at her to DROP IT! She asks if it's HER because she keeps going on about Roger. He changes the subject and suggests they leave for the party -- she's obviously dressed for it [she is?]! She mutters something about him being upset. David: "What? You thought that what, that I was going to cower in the corner and not face the populace that hates me?" He stomps over, picks up his tux and rants: "LOOK, what I'm going to do is I'm going to put on my TUX, I'm going TAKE you to the Crystal Ball, and WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A GREAT TIME!!! ALL RIGHT?" He slams into the bathroom in a full-blown snit. Most women would be a little put off by this behavior, but Anna just smiles -- apparently she thinks this is REALLY funny and cute behavior. [This is one WEIRD, not to mention masochistic, chick]

WILDWIND

Leo and Greenlee walk in past Vanessa, who gushes about them being engaged. Greenlee grits her teeth and rolls her eyes. Jake appears in the doorway, distracting Greenlee AND Leo. [I think Greenlee's curled hair would look very nice if only she had actually BRUSHED it before they left the loft.] Greenlee is wearing a brilliantly red toga-style dress. She tells Leo that she thinks Jake wants to talk to her -- he just looks so ALONE. At that moment, Mia joins Jake. As usual, her hair makes her face seem to disappear, even though the hair is in an upsweep tonight. She smiles and happily simpers as Jake appears to be complimenting her dress and appearance. Palmer walks past them and up to Vanessa & Co., wondering what they are all looking at. Vanessa smiles and says: "Trouble."

Jake and Mia walk back into the foyer. She has apparently been primping because he tells her he can't see any difference -- she couldn't possibly look any better than she already did [I beg to differ -- she needs a team of hunky men in the ladies room to dye her hair back to a FLATTERING color (not to mention give her that orgasm all the shampooed ladies in the commercials appear to receive). Oh well, at least her black/maroon dress doesn't match the hair this time] They walk back into the living room and chat while Greenlee stares daggers at them. Leo suggests they go over and say hello to get it out of the way. Greenlee declines and starts to walk away, but he spins her back, saying they are NOT going to do that West Side Story thing from across the room all night -- they should just get it over with. She assures him that he's her Tony. Greenlee gives in and calls over to Jake, saying she didn't see him standing over there. He says she's been staring at him for the last five minutes [you haven't even BEEN there five minutes!] He asks the women if they remember each other and Greenlee pretends to be demure. Leo makes a big deal out of "Mama Mia's" sexy dress [it's a nice black/maroon number, but not particularly interesting]. Greenlee looks at him as if he's lost his mind with that STUPID Mama Mia line. Mia gently mocks him about it, too. Greenlee asks how her ankle is and Mia says it's better, but Jake says she needs to stay off of it more. Greenlee suggests that she go do that. [Meow!] She quickly assures Leo that she wouldn't want Mia to turn it again. Jake asks if she has any NY resolutions. Greenlee says bunches. He has only one: "Should old acquaintance be forgot" [yes, I know it's spelled "auld", but this is what he SAID and what the closed-captioning showed]. Jake and Greenlee stare at each other.

In the ballroom, Mateo and Hayley stare some more, then he and Simone walk away, with Simone shooting smugly triumphant looks at Hayley. Hayley takes a deep breath and, still smiling, tells Edmund that she HATES Simone. Edmund reminds her that it's all an act, but Hayley says Simone is a little TOO good at her job. Edmund goes off to mingle while Hayley decides she has to warn Mateo.

Edmund creeps up on Brooke, who is peeking under a bright red draped thing. He wonders what she's looking at. she says it's an anonymous donation that's supposed to be bid on with the condition that it not be seen first. Edmund wonders who would bid on it. Brooke says SHE will, if she has to. [Looks to me like there's a PERSON under it] As they walk away the camera pans down to a small uncovered carved portion, which says: PROTEUS.

Edmund and Brooke walk into the ballroom and start the first dance. [I was happy to hear the waltz, because I was getting tired of hearing "In The Mood". I don't like the freezer-burned-pea-green color of her dress, but Brooke DOES look nice.] As always, there are smiling professional ballroom dancers hogging the dance floor, ready to mow down anyone who gets in their way. Accordingly, Brooke and Edmund dance in a tiny circle next to the giant centerpiece. [The ceiling cam looks down upon them and I notice that the rug around the centerpiece is a different color from the rug around IT. Why does the dancefloor have a rug in the first place? I'm guessing it's to keep the actors and dancers on their marks, not to mention muffle the floor mics, which is fine, but they shouldn't have used a ceiling cam in that case]

Over in the living room, Leo tells Jake he doesn't think the New Year means you have to leave acquaintances behind. The men seem to be working up to a mild chest-thrusting session, so Mia decides to break the tension by stepping over to compliment Greenlee's fabulous dress. Greenlee thanks her. After too long of a pause, Greenlee grudgingly, but politely says that Mia's is fabulous, too. Jake gives her a knowing look. Leo gives her a reassuring grin, although he clearly caught the insult. Mia giggles, seemingly naively flattered. Greenlee shows off her engagement ring. Jake explains to Mia that it was quite a dramatic proposal -- they were stuck in the elevator and Leo proposed to Greenlee in front of him AND Leo's wife. Mia looks questioningly at Jake as he says it was quite touching. Greenlee meaningfully says it was one of the happiest moments of her life. Jake continues: "You don't say? So, anyway, I guess the rest of the story is that the 'elevator' was stuck and it was unstable. Just a really, really good thing that that ring didn't slip out of Leo's hand and down the shaft into oblivion." Leo smiles and says he would have just gone out and bought another one. [With WHAT?] He and Greenlee kiss and murmur sweet nothings for Jake's benefit. Greenlee then turns and looks triumphantly at Jake. Jake congratulates Greenlee for finding her true happiness with Leo. She smiles, but it doesn't reach her eyes. Jake and Mia walk away. Greenlee and Leo agree that Mia is really nice. Yeah, that's the ticket. Leo says he thinks Greenlee needs a drink. After a moment's hesitation, Greenlee declares that she REALLY needs a drink. They both whirl and head for the ballroom. Greenlee tosses a look at Jake on the way past him and he returns it.

Brooke and Edmund manage to dance off to the side where they are accosted by Mrs. Dandridge who wants her promised dance from Edmund. He's not sure he's up to it, but Brooke, in a snide aside to him, tells him to dance with her because her checkbook becomes more pliable as the night goes on.

Opal and Hank are looking at the red-towel covered item. She thinks it's pretty cool, like trying to guess what's behind curtain #1 on a gameshow. She is lovely in a pink, horizontally pleated gown with a bodice edged by alternately light and dark roses and a single medium- large matching rose in her hair. Palmer and Vanessa walk up to the other side of the item and he says to leave it to Opal to compare a work of art to a GAME show. Hank says they don't know that what's under it IS a work of art -- that sort of thing is extremely subjective, isn't it? Opal agrees with Hank, and then says: "But I can understand you being interested in some old, cold sculpture, Palmer. I mean, it's kind of in keeping with the theme of your marriage, right?" Vanessa is surprisingly quiet, although she does turn away and silently gape at the gaucheness of the remark; Palmer doesn't respond either, other than staring at Opal. Hank then shows a bid sheet to Opal, saying he thinks that ought to buy the piece, doesn't she think? Palmer says: "Not really." He pulls out a bidsheet, writes a number, then shows it to them in challenge. Hank says he'll beat THAT. Vanessa and Palmer inexplicably walk away from the duck-swinging contest as Hank writes another number. Hank asks Opal how competitive Palmer is; she says he doesn't want to know. Hank says he does -- it's for a good cause, right?

Roger enters the room and walks past Vanessa, exchanging a quick glance with her. She walks in the other direction as he walks up to the mystery item and asks about the opening bid. Opal hands the clipboard to him, then tells Hank the vultures are circling the prey and suggests they leave them to the carcass. The walk toward the ballroom while Roger peruses the bidlist, then starts to look toward Vanessa.

Meanwhile, back in the ballroom, Hayley is again yanking up the top of her dress and making her way across the room. Already acting a little sloppy, she snags a glass of champagne from a passing waiter, yelling THANK YOU at the top of her lungs. She loudly wishes him a Happy New Year, then salutes a concerned Mateo with the full glass. After commercials, Mateo stalks over to her and asks what she's doing. She belligerently tells him it's none of his business WHAT she does while he holds up her glass and rants about her drinking while she's supposed to be taking care of their SON [doesn't the rest of the town think he's out of town, anyway?] Edmund starts to interrupt, but Mateo tells him NOT NOW and forcefully drags Hayley out of the room saying he has to talk to her. Hayley tosses back to Edmund that it's okay, because there are a few things SHE has to say to HIM in private! Simone glares across the room at Edmund while he broods meaningfully in her direction. [Is it just me, or does the back of her dress look like a 3-yr-old's romper? Not that the FRONT of it looks like it belongs on a 3-yr-old]

David and Anna walk up to a table for drinks, with David grousing that if they didn't decorate the place like a royal palace in England, then they'd have a lot more money for CHARITY. David says he would do a LOT better than that if HE were giving a party. She agrees, but adds that if HE gave a party, nobody would come [actually, if HE gave a party, and everyone drank his punch, EVERYBODY would cum] He grumbles about all the idiots in town who will spend their money on ANYTHING -- did she notice that mystery statue that Palmer was bidding on? Palmer acted like it was the pieTA or something [what the hell is a pee-ay- TAH?] He says he's the only one in town who is not an idiot when it comes to money. He puts his drink down and walks away. She sighs and follows.

Later, a couple of professional dancers race at about 100 mph from another room back into the ballroom where they immediately start to whirl. The music is sort of jazzy now and totally undanceable, but the dancers gamely try some watered-down, lazy form of stilted jitterbugging. Roger is kissing Greenlee's hand and saying he is delighted for the both of them. Leo says the LAST time they were engaged, Roger sabotaged the whole thing! Greenlee smiles and, through gritted teeth, tells Leo to give it a rest. Roger apologizes and says he'll never stand in the way of Greenlee's happiness again. He suggests a toast, but Greenlee frets about him drinking so soon after getting out of the hospital. [She should see his recovery time from total meltdown to driving a car in a 20-second span] Roger says it's only soda for him. He drags her away while Leo thoughtfully glares at him.

Edmund is just ending his dance with stumbling (and seemingly drunk) Mrs. Dandridge. She's laughing gaily as Edmund breaks away to seek refuge with Brooke. Brooke urges him to continue, given Mrs. Dandridge's charitable capabilities, but Edmund swears she's KILLING him AND she LEADS! The horrible music ends and people start clapping, which is Edmund's cue to make another boring speech. The scarlet- draped artwork has, meanwhile, been wheeled into the room. Just to make sure we don't forget, Edmund says Dimitri and Alex are out of the country, but have vowed to match every donation made tonight, dollar- for-dollar. Brooke walks up and gives Edmund a sheet of paper with the name (and presumably dollar amount bid) of the person who won the bid on the artwork. He announces that the winner is Palmer Cortlandt. Everyone claps. Edmund dramatically unveils the statue, a sort of miniature Easter Island head. He starts, but stumbles over reading the name: PROTEUS. Dramatic looks are exchanged all around the room, even among total strangers, including by Jake [does Jake even KNOW about the whole Proteus thing?]

After the commercials, everyone continues to stare at each other as dramatic music plays. Suddenly, everyone disperses. Roger looks at the statue, then grabs a drink. He brings it up to his mouth. Palmer and Vanessa walk up to the statue which has now repelled everyone else in the room via some sort of temporary 15-foot forcefield. Palmer tells Vanessa: "Well, I think it's perfect! Even looks like me!" Suddenly the forcefield breaks and people go back to staring open- mouthed at the statue. Opal walks up and says: "In your dreams, Palmer!" [Is this a dig at my web page?]

Edmund and Brooke ponder the situation and the rather unfunny joke. Edmund puts his hand on it and says it's hollow -- no hidden messages [now how does he know that unless he picks it up and smashes it?] Anna walks up and says it's right out there in the open, isn't it. Brooke and Edmund leave the room to talk as Anna probinglyh fingers the statue. Palmer walks up and tells her to be careful -- they don't want it to fall on its face. Opal drifts by and snidely says: "A common problem." Vanessa walks up asking if Proteus was some sort of Greek philosopher. David walks up to her, juts his chin and informs her: "Proteus was a Greek GOD, Mother. A GOD. You know, a being that holds people's LIVES in his HANDS. Kind of like a DOCTOR." Vanessa quietly says: "David, why are --" David: "Show some RESPECT, Moth-er. Do you understand this lesson? DON'T mess around with the Gods!" She looks at him in a vaguely challengingly way.

Hayley and Mateo stride into the stable office again. Mateo blasts her for the champagne. She says she had to do SOMETHING to get him away from his girlfriend for TWO SECONDS! He tells her to stop joking, it's hard for HIM, too. She says she found something out from Ryan. Mateo wonders where he is and she says he's not in the partying mood. Mateo: "Yeah, well who IS?" She says that Ryan found out that Chris Stamp killed his father. She explains that his father was some sort of low-level drug pusher and that Chris said he was killed in a drug bust, but Ryan seems to think there is more to it than that. Mateo guesses that maybe Chris was involved in the drug trafficking -- it sounds like Proteus' M.O. Hayley: "Or STAMP's!" What if Chris Stamp IS Proteus?

ERICA'S HOUSE

Erica and Chris are still dancing. Erica runs her hands all over him and whispers that next year she's going to have him PERSONALLY advise the Crystal Ball committee, because he could DEFINITELY teach Edmund a thing or two. They nuzzle, agreeing that the night is magical. Just as they are about to kiss, Chris' cellphone rings. He has to take it. For some reason, he has to turn on the lamp in order to answer it in a business-like manner. He assures someone he'll be right there. He hangs up and tells Erica it's about Proteus, the drug cartel, and he has to leave. He has to go to the Crystal Ball. She had assumed that he was off the drug case, now that he's representing HER. He hems and haws a little, saying he meant to talk to her about that, but hoped they would have a nice night and some fun first. She prods him and he says he just found out that her trial has been moved up -- to TOMORROW. [New Year's DAY? Yeah, RIGHT! With no preparation whatsoever! Of course, last year all the kids were in school on New Year's Day] She asks if he's ready. He asks if SHE'S ready. She gives her patented half-smile and says she IS as long as HE's with her. [GAG ME!] She thanks him and says she'll never forget this (night). HE leaves. She sighs at the prospect of tomorrow [as do we ALL].

WILDWIND

Back in the stable office area Hayley says they should scrap this plan -- they are OUT! Mateo says he's NOT backing out. She says if it's Stamp, then he KNOWS they are on to him! He says that if it's NOT Stamp, then it will still work. She continues to protest and he says she can't STOP it, it's already in motion. She's scared. He tells her she HAS to get out of town or Proteus will go after BOTH of them. She says she HATES this. He agrees and they hug each other comfortingly. As they do so, Chris sneaks up, staying in the animal area, watching them lovingly kiss each other. Hayley leaves. Mateo waits a discreet five seconds, then follows. Chris watches them both, then stands around thinking about it with a menacing look on his face [which, BTW, looks amazingly refreshed since he left Erica's house].

Back in the ballroom, Vanessa walks away from David, who follows her and warns her not to even THINK about saying anything about him, his cabin or anything she THINKS he's doing up there. Don't THREATEN him again! She says he doesn't have to be so SEVERE! She's his MOTHER, she CARES about him! HE says she doesn't care about anything but HERSELF. Leo and Greenlee walk up and David says to ask LEO about that and see how far she gets. Before stalking away, he cryptically tells Leo that Vanessa has sunk to a new low this time. Leo asks Vanessa what the hell is going on. She says David has always had a long-standing vendetta against her, but at least HE (Leo) isn't quite so judgmental. Leo looks off in David's direction for a fraction of a second, then wisely decides to make a run for it, asking Greenlee to dance. Vanessa: "No, no! Don't leave me just yet. People have overheard. It's humiliating!" He tells her he doesn't want this latest chapter of their family drama to interfere with his and Greenlee's special night. She shrugs and says sure, her own FLESH AND BLOOD. She quickly turns and leaves. He stares after her for a few moments, then turns back to Greenlee, who has been watching with concern. She tells him he can't leave Vanessa like that -- REALLY. Something huge just happened -- didn't he see David's face? He wonders what HE'S supposed to do. She doesn't know, but he shouldn't ditch Vanessa. She must have done something really out of control this time, and he should go find out what it is.

Opal walks up to the refreshment table. She deduces that something is up and thoughtfully walks away.

Mia walks up to David and asks if he remembers her. She apologizes for trying to pick his brain at Adam's behest when she first came to town. He says it's okay because he didn't tell her anything, anyway. He tells her, FYI, that Jake likes HONEST women -- does she think she fits that bill? She gives him a steely look. She says yes, she DOES -- what's it to HIM? He says he and Jake work together, so don't try to cross him again. She says her seeing Jake has nothing to do with HIM and he suggests they keep it that way. She tells him he has QUITE an ego and negatively wishes him a Happy New Year. She walks back to Jake. He asks if her ankle is up to a dance and they proceed to do so.

Greenlee walks up to David and asks where his date is. He congratulates her about the engagement. She asks why he was talking to Mia. She turns and watches Mia with Jake and asks David is Mia is nice. Seeing right through Greenlee, he says he doesn't know about NICE, but she IS smart and obviously very attractive. Greenlee makes a nasty face in Mia's direction and pretends it's great that Mia is great.

Mateo walks back in and Simone accosts him, demanding to know where the hell he and Hayley went. He says Hayley gave him a tip. She informs him of the Proteus statue auction that occurred in his absence and asks if he thinks it's a sign or a message. He says she's DAMN STRAIGHT! He looks around suspiciously at everyone in the room, as if Proteus is now wearing a neon sign.

ERICA'S HOUSE

After commercials urging us to shop the soaps and buy a Crystal Ball necklace, Erica picks up the phone and calls someone. She coolly and authoritatively says: "It's me. My trial date has been set. Tomorrow. Oh, you have to come back to Pine Valley. Well, that's just too bad, isn't it, because my future is at stake. You come back to Pine Valley -- now.

WILDWIND

Now Vanessa and Leo tromp into the stable office. Leo complains that it's freezing outside and they are at least 1/2 mile from the main house. Vanessa, her voice shaking and legitimately out of breath, says that his brother DESPISES her. He says he got that -- how about she tells him WHY. She says he's absolutely FURIOUS with her and this time he wants to get even with her by ripping her ENTIRE LIFE apart! He keeps asking her to tell him what's going on and she keeps alluding to her life being ruined and her marriage being at stake. She laments that that's ALL she really HAS and David is threatening to take it away from her! Leo: "HOOOOOOWWWWW?" She sputters a little, then admits she was unfaithful and his brother found out about it. He asks how and she looks away, quickly saying he walked in on them in his bed -- she thought he was going to be away for the whole weekend. Leo wants to back up to the part about her having an affair IN HER SON'S HOTEL ROOM! She assures him it was meaningless -- she and Larry just got carried away. Leo: "LARRY? You had an affair with your CHAUFFEUR?" She tells him to keep his voice down as the camera pans to the other room where Opal [who has to be freezing her tiny, fat- free butt off] is hiding. Vanessa tells Leo to promise not to breathe a word of this to ANYONE.

Back in the ballroom, Simone walks away and loudly tosses back over her shoulder to Mateo that Chris Stamp isn't there, so if his theory that Chris is Proteus and wants to see the reaction to his statue, then-- [The ironic part here is that she was walking away from Mateo so they could have PRIVACY to talk about Proteus] She stops and turns to him, then stops again as she spies Chris standing in the doorway. She swears the hair on the back of her neck just stood right up. Mateo tells her to cool out, have some punch and relax. This is IT.

Anna walks over near Chris. He grabs her wrist, drags her to another room and says he TOLD her to stop messing around with Proteus! Anna: "Messing around?" He shows her a vial of something and says it's truth serum. She scoffs and says he'll need it. He says he wants her to give it to David. She refuses and says David is NOT the problem, and Chris KNOWS that.

Back in the ballroom, a drunken Roger snaps his fingers and stumbles up to a refreshment table. As usual, the dancers' movements have nothing whatsoever to do with the music being played. David walks up to Roger, observes that he's drunk again and accuses him of jeopardizing EVERYTHING he's worked for -- what's WRONG with him? Roger puts his drink down and pats his mouth dry, saying: "Wellll, if it isn't Dr. Hayward!" Greenlee walks up and frets about Roger's condition, saying she has to get him home. Roger belligerently announces to all and sundry that he has a Secret -- A BIG SECRET!!! And he is SICK TO DEATH of keeping it to himself. Greenlee shrinks away from his overwhelming booze-breath. Roger keeps right in her face as he says he's going to tell her what the secret is. David has had enough -- he yanks Roger around and wallops him across the face, then punches him out. Greenlee gets on the floor to tend to her father while David shakes his hand in pain and realizes everyone is looking at them.

[Crystal Ball invitation necklaces were seen on the following ladies: Hayley ... uh, well ... only Hayley. Unseen (so far) at the CB: Phoebe, Adam, Liza, Stuart, Marian, Myrtle, Bianca, Joe, Ruth, Tad, Dixie, Pat Trowbridge, Laura, Jackson, Millicent, Woodruff, Zeke, Shannon, Marcus, Mindy, JR, Derek, Axel, and Heather. Hayley already gave a lame excuse for Ryan.]

ON THE NEXT AMC

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Chris leans close to Mateo and quietly hisses: "SOMEBODY is ALWAYS watching you!" Mateo narrows his eyes.

At the ball, a heretofore unseen Adam hisses to Simone: "You're going to be sorry you were EVER BORN!"

Mia glumly tells Leo: "Greenlee's with Jake."

Greenlee points at Jake and tells him: "YOU have to help me get to the bottom of this!"

In the stable office, Vanessa tells a frowning Opal: "WELL, let's get right to the blackmail."

Anna holds the vial behind her back. She looks up to see David, shirt top undone and bowtie untied, leaning haphazardly in the doorway chuckling derisively.

Irreverently submitted,

Robin "thankful there were no jaw-droppingly bad dresses this year" Coutellier