Friday Update
November 17, 2000

Alex peers through a doorway and watches David pour a vial of something into a flask.

Greenlee confronts Leo: "You don't want to live with me because you don't love me." Leo: "I just don't want to rush into something if we're not ready."

Arlene, disguised in heavy glasses and a red wig, watches Mateo and Hayley kissing and thinks out loud: "They think they're on the ship of dreams. Well, that's what they called the Titanic."

Gillian, just finishing up from cleaning the spilled drink off of her dress, is startled when a shirtless (of course) Ryan emerges from the bathroom of the stateroom she had conveniently appropriated.

THE WANDERING YAKKITY-YACHT

Dixie and Hayley are giggling as cameras watch. Hayley is wearing a silvery blue, shimmery, leaf-like (?) patterned, diagonally wrapped dress; the top wraps to one side, leaving the other side bare (as is most of her back); the skirt is slung below her bellybutton and is slit up her left side about to the waist. Although WE don't know for sure if she's wearing anything under it, I have a feeling everyone on the set DOES know. She has a matching shawl that rides on her elbows. Her hair is swept back, sort of in a bun, but sticks out in all directions in a sort of drunken geisha in a typhoon fashion. She's wearing deep lavender eyeshadow and false eyelashes that cast large housefly-like shadows on her nose whenever the light hits her from one side. Dixie is wearing a beige/gold sleeveless dress with gold trim. It's very low cut and she has previously tried to hide that fact by wrapping a yellow-gold chiffon-like shawl around [the combination of the dress, the trim and the shawl, it looks very much like she's wearing my great-grandmother's curtains]. Her hair is coifed in a fingerwave style [also like my great-grandmother's], rolled under along the bottom, which makes it appear as if she has short hair. IMNSHO, the hairdo is HIDEOUS! It DOES look a little looser than it did on Thursday, though [must be that sea air].

Tad and Dixie wander off and Hayley faces the camera to describe the party to the camera. She flubs the word "Incredible", pronouncing it as Increbidle (on purpose) and they cut to redo it. Mateo grins at her, causing sharks to swim away in fear from the blinding glare of his teeth. With the spotlight directly on him, his teeth match his shirt [I marvel at how they managed to find such a white shirt].

Tad notices that David is there (schmoozing a young woman) and grouses about it, threatening harm to David if he comes near them. Dixie says it's a big boat and they don't even have to look at him. Tad says David is not going to get away with ANYTHING tonight. Naturally, they decide to walk directly past David, despite it being a "big boat". Tad glares at him. David watches them walk past, then turns to watch them. His schmoozee wanders off and Leslie comes up to take his arm, challenging him with: "We're not having FUN yet ..." He tells her that they WILL -- this could end up being he best night of her entire life -- if she does as he says, they could both get EXACTLY what they both want. They wander off. Bianca and Laura, who are VERY chummy nowadays, wander over to Leo. He tells them they both look hot. Bianca is wearing a maroon square-necked gown with sparkly cap sleeves. Laura s wearing a high necked (but low cut) orange dress with beaded (?) short sleeves. It looks a little too much like a fancy office dress to be a yacht-party dress, but then, Brooke IS her mother. Leo tells them that he's probably not going to be very good company. He fills them in on the situation of NOT moving in with Greenlee and her resulting displeasure. He's eating chips, which makes me want to go out and get some (chips). He says she's probably at home downing a gallon of ice-cream right now and can't stop thinking about me [too cold for me to want ice-cream]. Bianca begs to differ as they turn and look at the staircase. Greenlee is making her entrance, escorted by a handsome gent in a tux. She's wearing a hunter/teal- green dress with a low-slung sash that drapes down to tie in front of her bikini area and falls the length of the dress. She has a maroon shawl draped across her wrists. The bodice is wrapped upward, criss-crossing just below her neck, ending in a halter fastening behind. The dress accentuates impressive biceps. Her hair is curly in a Madonna fashion. I didn't like it on Madonna, and I don't like it on Greenlee, but at least Greenlee carries it off better. Greenlee and the man make smalltalk that let us know that a) she called HIM and he's really happy about it, and b) her grandmother has been trying to set them up together for about a year now. He hopes it works out and she says it depends on how he laughs -- it has to be genuine. She demonstrates, putting her hand on him and throwing her curly locks back, laughing heartily. She makes sure to "sneak" a look to make sure Leo is watching. The guy is sort of chuckling, but manages to restrain himself. Leo, Bianca and Laura watch her performance with jaded looks, wondering (but not really) what she's up to NOW. She and the guy wander off to get drinks.

A steward ushers Liza into a stateroom where she can freshen up. It is filled with white roses and lit candles [oh GREAT -- just what they need -- a fire at sea]. Liza wonders out loud if Ryan decorated EVERY stateroom like that because if he did, he's going to go broke [with HER money, I might add]. Adam walks in and quips that it's only money. She wants to know how Ryan knew that white roses were her favorite flower. Adam says someone must have ratted her out. She wants to know if Adam was behind it. She says that Ryan had asked her what her fantasy was. Adam: "And you said it was being on a yacht -- with me." She doesn't remember mentioning HIM, but she smiles. He says they can find their way back together, TONIGHT -- first he has to make her aware of how much he loves her. They both smile. [I'm still perplexed that they aren't just cutting to the chase now that Arlene is almost out of the picture. They both already KNOW they are going to be together, so what's the problem?] BTW, Liza is wearing what appears to be a beautiful black velvet bathrobe with a white sparkly (barely) bathrobe collar which runs down the front of her dress to the hem.

Dimitri, Joe and Alex are talking about the success of Jake's program getting off the ground. Joe is proud but says HE has to work the room to get a new pathology lab. Alex says he ALWAYS works the room. Alex is wearing an off-the- shoulder black tent. The collar/bodice is about 8-10" of beige/yellow/gold [I don't know how to describe it except as the color of something that was beige in 1920, but now, in the vintage clothing store, it's properties have changed somewhat -- it seems to be a theme at the party]. It also has huge matching collars. Actually, it might be a wrap of some sort. A LOT of skin is exposed -- she must be FREEZING! Joe wanders off and Alex spies David staring at her through some glass door panes. She comments that she is going to enjoy herself this evening in SPITE of David. She shivers with cold [I told you] and hugs her dress/wrap tighter around her. Dimitri says they CAN get rid of him -- after all, it IS Dimitri's foundation. Alex says that David has ingratiated himself so much with the hospital board that she thinks they'd choose him over her. He says they could also move it to another locale. She says he says that NOW, but from beyond the grave, he insisted it be in Pine Valley. He says it was because he wanted her to be close to Edmund, then kisses her and changes the subject. Edmund bops up the stairs and cheerily asks if he may have a word in private with Alex. Dimitri says no, he may NOT.

In the stateroom-o-lust, the hormonally charged duo continue to stare at each other as Ryan slowly walks toward her, every sharply sculpted muscle in his torso rippling with each step. They are so sharply defined, in fact, that I'm guessing he could used them if he were ever tied up -- all he would have to do is flex a muscle here and there and they would probably cut through titanium. Gillian nervously steps back and explains about spilling some pate' on her dress. She's wearing a lavender dress, draped diagonally across the staight- topped bodice, with a sash that goes diagonally over one shoulder and attaches to the back of the dress. She has a matching shawl, which alternates between being draped over her elbows or her wrists. Her hair has been enhanced with about 10 lbs of spare hair, fluffed and teased so high and so far back that I'm surprised she's not tipping over backwards. She looks very Sharon Tate-ish. Ryan keeps slowly advancing. She continues to babble and back up. He finally reaches her and shushes her. He caresses her arms and says: "My God! You are SO beautiful!" She stares up at him.

After the commercial, she leans in closer. Soon he is nuzzling her forehead. Suddenly he stops himself and backs away, saying that Jake is a very lucky man. He turns and puts his shirt on. Gillian says he's done a beautiful job. I think she's referring to the party, but it looks more like she's referring to his body. She asks if it's difficult for him, because it is for her -- being at the party with Jake, that is. He says it's not complicated -- it's all part of his business strategy and everybody benefits. He recommends that they should just have a good time and forget that he's even there. She sadly sits on the bed for a moment as Ryan walks out. A nano-second later, Jake bursts in [doesn't ANYONE ever KNOCK?] She rushes into his arms for a hug and he is all too pleased to respond. [I notice that his bow-tie is stiffly erect -- it looks like it's about to take flight] He keeps going on and on about how he's been looking for her, the most beautiful woman on the ship [she DOES look fabulous]. She keeps relaunching herself into his arms like he's a life preserver in the open sea. He guesses something is wrong, and keeps hugging her.

Now fully dressed, Ryan descends the stairs, smiling for the flashing photographers. [If he REALLY wanted a lot of donations, he should have kept his shirt off] He greets Hayley and Mateo, then works the room, slapping backs and smiling hello at various people. He comes up to Tad and Dixie. [Is it my imagination, or has Dixie's dress gradually gone from ill-fitting at the house to form-fitting on the yacht? I think someone adjusted the shoulder straps.] He and Dixie schmooze and Tad glares at David, who is still watching Dixie. Leslie tells David that Tad doesn't LIKE her and she doesn't know what David expects her to get from him. David says Tad doesn't TRUST himself with her. She says she's only a lawyer to Tad, ever since the Colby custody trial. David assures her that's not true -- in fact, that's when it BEGAN! According to David, Dixie once confided in him that, during a "parlor game" Tad gave Leslie's name when asked who he would be most likely to cheat on Dixie with. [Uh-huh] Leslie doesn't want to believe David, but she clearly DOES want to believe what he said. For the benefit of viewers who've just tuned in, David reiterates the plan for her to seduce Tad so that they both get what they want. Leslie wanders away. David grins after her and is startled when Ryan comes up behind him yelling his last name. Ryan: "I'm going to say this once and only once. If I catch you making trouble for the Martins on this boat, I will personally escort you off myself." Ryan looks around and smiles pleasantly as he says this. David smirks at him and says they are there for the same reason: to support Jake Martin and all the good things he does.

David flashes back to his earlier conversation with Gordon, the lab guy: Gordon: "Give me the vial." David: "Vial?" Gordon: "The superconcentrated batch of Libidozone. I want it back." David: "Sorry, but I have plans for its use." Back in the present, he smirks in Tad's direction and says: "And that plan includes YOU, Tad. He wanders off.

Erica enters the room near Tad. She is a vision in hot pink with a matching chiffon shawl draped over her wrists. Apparently the fashion now is toga-style diagonal bodices and tightly-fitted sheaths -- this is a MAJOR improvement over the bustles of last year's Crystal Ball! Erica does a model's turn and we see that her dress dips down nearly to her butt-cleavage. She wraps the shawl around her arms and steps up into a different room to observe Dimitri and Edmund loudly arguing about whether or not Alex should talk to Edmund. They take it upstairs, leaving Alex in the room.

Naturally, Erica walks up to Alex to make trouble, demanding to know what she is doing to those two men. Erica tells her she has some nerve wearing that Marick coat-of-arms [so it's a medieval tent?]. They had resolved their differences until ALEX came along. And of course, Alex takes great joy in getting them to hate each other again. As usual, Alex is calm and unruffled in the face of Erica's spitefulness. Erica tells Alex that she has a history of being unstable -- she should leave those men alone and get out of BOTH of their lives before it's too late! Erica flounces away. Alex makes a cat-hissing face at her retreating back :-) Alex walks up to Brooke and asks her to speak to Edmund and Dimitri since she can't seem to make any headway.

Greenlee and her companion are over at the bar and Greenlee is continuing to gaily laugh at his every breath. Bianca teases Leo about Greenlee's amazing recuperative powers -- you can hardly believe he had just broken her heart. Leo: "You actually believe that act? That guy's probably her cousin!" Laura, observing Greenlee smile and flirt and paw the guy: "If so, it's a very CLOSE family." Leo suggests that they dance and carry on just like Greenlee. Handing her purse [what about the camera?] to Bianca, Laura asks if he's sure he wants to be that childish and idiotic. They start to dance with moves that do not match the music at all, but that's ok. Laura does a sexy shimmy and twirls into his arms. She continues to do a sort of slow disco with him, calling attention to them. We finally find out the name of Greenlee's companion, Bill, as she tells him he'd better be a GREAT dancer. He says he's the best and they go into similar dance moves; Leo dips Laura low. Greenlee can't take her eyes off Leo and Leo starts tonguing Laura's hair [I'm NOT kidding].

Hayley and Mateo take to the dance floor and she comments that she hasn't seen her father all night.

Leo continues to get a mouthful of mousse from Laura, cupping her head, watching Greenlee all the while. Greenlee returns the looks.

Meanwhile, back in the rosy stateroom, Liza asks how many times has Adam has thought he had to prove his love to her -- 12, 50, 60 times? He protests that he's taken responsibility for every time he's ever hurt her, and he's tried to change. But THIS time-- She finishes the sentence for him by saying THIS time he deserves a second chance. She calmly takes a notebook out of her purse and suggests they take a look at exactly how many times he has said he needed to "prove his love" to her -- let's stick with the current year. Liza: "March 16, you said, 'after I lost you, I felt I had to move galaxies in order to get you back.'" Adam: "You write down everything I say?" Liza: "Yes, of course. Let's see here -- April 10, you said, 'nothing is going to stand in the way of me earning your love.'" Adam grabs her notebook and looks at it and says: "Wait, wait, just a minute. 8:15, breakfast with tax advisor. 9:00, affiliates meeting. 10:30, pediatrician!" Liza archly says: "What, do you think I'm CRAZY? I walk around writing down everything you say?" [Why not -- he videotapes everything that happens in the house] He says he knows he hurts her. She says it's not just that -- she gets so disappointed. She gives him a second chance and the benefit of the doubt. Adam: "For God's sake, don't stop NOW!" He knows he doesn't deserve her, "But you do deserve to be loved by me. An all- encompassing one-of-a-kind love that's -- that's right here!" He thumps his chest for emphasis. With hurt and regret on her face, Liza says he filled the room with flowers and he didn't even stop to think if she would be pleased or overwhelmed. She says she's not doing this. She starts to leave, but he stops her. He says that if all she wants to do tonight is mock and reject him, he's going to give her the perfect opportunity. Her eyes shine with hurt tears. He flips open a jewelry box, revealing a square-cut ring that's so large she'll need to attach a trailer to her car just to haul it along with her. He asks her to marry him. She looks at him in bewilderment and disillusion.

Dimitri and Edmund stride out to the rail. Edmund looks like he's smelling a dead seal. Dimitri reminds him that 1/2 the town is on the ship -- he thought Edmund didn't want to air their dirty laundry. Edmund yells at Dimitri for trying to make Alex feel afraid of him, and Dimitri is upset that Edmund has already spoken to Alex (AFTER Dimitri had told Alex not to be alone with Edmund, for her own safety). Edmund says that they speak to each other and care for each other -- he and Alex had a life before Dimitri pretended to be dead! Dimitri insists he and Alex BOTH still care for Edmund. Edmund says he can't believe a word that comes out of Dimitri's mouth -- every time he does it gets thrown back in his face. Dimitri: "You know something, Edmund? I -- all I did this time was come back alive! I didn't die, Edmund, and there's nothing that I can do about that!" [Well, that's not TECHNICALLY true] Edmund: "I am glad you're not dead, Dimitri." Dimitri: "Why? You tried to kill me." Edmund: "I don't want you to be dead. Because then, someday, you'll be able to feel what I feel -- the disappointment, the loss, everything." Dimitri whispers that it doesn't have to be that way. He promises that they are in this together. He reminds Edmund of the aquaduct [Jim Thomason had chained Edmund to a grate so that he would drown in the high tide] -- he didn't let him drown then and he won't now [kind of a touchy place to be talking about drowning, isn't it?] Edmund says that if Dimitri had just let him die, he'd have Alex all to himself. Dimitri says he already HAS Alex all to himself. Edmund: "But for how long?" Dimitri steps back as if struck.

Dimitri demands to know what Edmund means. Edmund says that Alex won't be with Dimitri for very long. Dimitri wants to choose who Alex can be with -- Edmund was with her when she needed protection against people who REALLY meant to harm her, and she doesn't LIKE being protected. Dimitri keeps harping on how he's afraid Edmund will hurt Alex due to his resentment of Dimitri. Dimitri tells him to look at his behavior -- for some godforsaken reason they have always been able to work out their problems [did this seem disjointed to anyone else?] Edmund scoffs that Dimitri slept with Maria and he tried to take away his child: "What are you, CRAZY? We've been able to work that through our psyches?" Dimitri: "We have. In spite of what I have done to you, what you have done to me, we will always be brothers!" Edmund: "Yeah. Interesting phrase. But what does it mean? What do we have to look back on? You in the big house, Dimitri, with the five forks to eat with, and me in the garden with the pitchfork and the manure." Dimitri clutches both sides of Edmund's head [and I DO mean CLUTCH -- I'm surprised he didn't leave claw marks] and yells that that is Alf speaking. Edmund calmly says that it is NOT Alf, Alf is gone and he walks away. Dimitri yells that Alf is NOT gone and he has spoken to someone at Oakhaven about it. Edmund and I both whip our heads around and say "WHAT?" Edmund stomps back over to Dimitri and grabs him by the collar, saying he had no right to do that! Brooke chooses that moment to interrupt them and yell Edmund's name. Edmund let's go of Dimitri and stalks away through a door. Dimitri grips the rail and gasps, looking like he's about to barf, but he tells Brooke he's all right. [I notice that Brooke's hair color PERFECTLY matches the blinds in the nearby portal]

Back in the rosy stateroom Liza tells Adam that he has no shame and he really thought she'd be impressed at the size of that big rock. She wants to see it again. He grins and hands it to her. She salivates over it for a moment, then hands it back and says she has no desire to go to jail for bigamy. [You know, if I were her, I'd probably be MORE upset that Adam brought down an entire building, MY building just to spite me -- Arlene's a biggie, too] He echoes my sentiments and says Arlene is no longer a factor -- she's probably on to her next carpet king by now. He informs her that he's had a private investigator following her to keep her away from Hayley, and Arlene is nowhere in sight. Liza tells him that Arlene IS there -- she's in town. Marian caught her begging for Stuart and trying to get him to help her get another chance with Hayley. He contends that that STILL doesn't MATTER -- he'll find her and convince her to sign the divorce papers. She says all right, but in the meantime he might want to hock the ring and give the money to Arlene or hire a hit man.

The Martin boys and their wives are now schmoozing and partaking of edibles. The camera pans to Palmer and Vanessa, who tries to stop a redheaded waitress so she can scarf some eats. The waitress (Arlene) keeps her head turned away. Vanessa pops the snack into Palmer's mouth, then spies Leo (standing with Bianca) across the room. Vanessa is wearing the pearl necklace Palmer gave her the other day. She's also wearing an off-the shoulder dress with opera-length gloves, a gargantuan wrap (hard to tell) that wraps around the shoulder, has a HUGE knot in the center and tucks under another piece of it that's wrapped around the waist. The color of the wrap/collar and the gloves is a pale pea- green. She and Leo wave. Leo sees the necklace and mouths "How much?" She mouths back "FIVE HUNDRED THOU!!" Palmer leans in to read her lips, shakes his head in disgust and tells her that that is TACKY to broadcast to the world how much he paid for that trinket. Arlene, now standing behind them, ducks her head and listens. She turns and says (aloud): "$500,000. That necklace could keep me in the style that I've become accustomed to." [How did she get that? She had her back turned and Vanessa didn't say it aloud, nor did Palmer] Leo yells for the waitress and he grabs a tidbit to sensually pop into Laura's mouth. Bianca looks uncomfortable and a little jealous.

The Martins make smalltalk and discuss the possibility of swimming in the heated pool on the boat [I'd think they were kidding, but they ARE Marins, after all] Tad puts his drink down on a nearby piano. David seizes the moment; he tells Leslie to wait a few minutes, then ask Tad to speak with her in private. BTW, Leslie is wearing an elegant black velvet (maybe velvet) dress with a deep v- neck. The 1" wide straps are fastened to the front via silver pins. She is, of course, wearing the mandatory shawl. David immediately walks over behind Tad and pulls out the flask. Just before it starts to pour into Tad's drink, Alex grabs his arm and asks him what the hell he's doing. He feigns innocence and says he was just freshening up his drink. She says she knows what's in the flask, and it's NOT alcohol. Pulling a Livia Soprano, he says he doesn't know what she's talking about and he walks away. She turns and follows him.

Not one for listening closely to directions, Leslie immediately heads over to Tad. Just before she gets to him, Dixie grabs his arm and asks for a dance. [to my horror, her hairdo is starting to grow on me, so to speak] They dance and Leslie sighs in frustration. She gives a teenager's tongue-snap when she sees them talk lovingly to each other.

Meanwhile, Alex has followed David to a private room. She says she saw him put the Libidozone into the flask back at the office. He is APPALLED at the ABSURD notion that she thinks he's conducting a human experiment right there on the yacht. She tells him that he makes her sick -- he doesn't deserve a medical license, and she's going to make Joe aware of this. He grabs and stops her and says she's probably having flashbacks to her former years in the KGB or whatever when she probably poured poison into someone's drink. He sticks to his story of pouring Scotch into his own drink [same thing, IMO]. He says it's fortunate that the hospital board chose to overlook her bout of mental instability, but maybe they should take another look at that matter. Does she REALLY want to open up that can of worms again? Is she on something right now? She IS seeing a psychiatrist, isn't she? She grudgingly gives in to his threats and leaves with a warning that she's WATCHING him! He shakes his head at the interruption and rethinks his strategy.

Leslie petulantly watches Tad and Dixie, then moves to a different room. She walks past Laura and Bianca who are now chatting. Bianca is happy again and tells Laura that the stuff she (and Leo) was really working -- Greenlee is a total mess! Laura: "Yeah, well, Leo's worse. There's nothing more lame than a guy who thinks he's in love. All jealous and possessive and childish. Who needs it? I know *I* don't. Women are more mature and smarter about being in love, don't you think?" [Whether or not these two end up in a romantic relationship, TPTB certainly are yanking our chain to make us THINK that's the way it's headed] Bianca agrees. Laura hopes Bianca isn't jealous or anything, because she and Leo were just goofing around. Laura knows that Bianca and Leo are close, but Bianca assures her that she likes Leo as a FRIEND. Laura notes that it's a moot point, since he's totally in love with Greenlee anyway. Leo comes up and starts pumping his arms [fruging?], saying he needs Laura again. They go off to make Greenlee jealous some more and Bianca laughs. Once they are away, though, she sighs and looks away unhappily. [In notice that her lipstick is a GREAT match for her dress]

Alex walks up to Jake and says he needs to speak to his father right away. As Jake asks if everything is okay, David scowls at them. Jake says his father just left. She hasn't heard the launch yet, though, and Jake says she might be able to catch him if he hurries [how gallant, letting a 9-months pregnant woman run after someone on a boat!] David looks extremely worried and rushes over to Leslie for a progress report. She says she's having a tough time trying to find an opening to pry Tad away from his wife. He says to wait a few minutes and then wait for his signal. She demands to know what's going on. He tells her not to ask so many questions and promises it will be a wonderful evening for both of them. He turns to charge back into the room but stops short before slamming into Dixie [big boat, my ass!] Dixie stutters that she didn't think he would be there. He glows and tells her she looks beautiful. Before she can respond, Tad steps up and snarls that he told David to keep his distance! David bounces a little, but keeps his mouth shut.

Leo and Laura laugh and paw each other for Greenlee's benefit. To everyone's horror Becca steps up and says hello to Greenlee. Becca is dressed in red velvet, looking like a frilly elf (with big hooters and big hair) -- or the disgraced Scarlett O'Hara at Ashley's birthday party -- kind of a cross between the two. She is also, of course, wearing the mandatory matching shawl. Becca asks her if she's okay and Greenlee moodily says she's fine, why wouldn't she be? Becca snarkily says it looks like she and Leo came with different dates tonight. Greenlee says they did, and she's having a GREAT time with BILL. Becca says that's great, because it looks lik Leo is having a WONDERFUL time WITHOUT Greenlee. Greenlee watches Leo and Laura flirt, glares at Becca and walks away. Becca gives a self-satisfied "score one for ME" look off to the side, then looks around.

Ryan stands on the stairs in a GQ pose, moodily watching the Martins. Jake is standing behind Gillian. She's leaning back into him and he's got her in a backhug. The waiters break into his evil-eyeing so they can get past him with a large bowl of punch. Ryan asks for everyone's attention so he, on behalf of IncredibleDreams.com, can make a toast to Dr. Jake Martin and his new venture, the Pine Valley Hospital Teen Pregnancy program. Everyone claps for Jake and gives him admiring glances. He says the punch is non-alcoholic, but they will be passing around a little champagne for those who want to fortify it a little bit (most people have been fortifying all night). Tad walks back into the room with a really odd, sort of dementedly fake happy look on his face. David follows him to the doorway [where did Dixie go?]

Back in the rosy stateroom, Adam says Arlene is desperate for money now -- he'll instruct Barry to give her $50k -- it will seem like $50M to HER now that she's lost everything. She says that as long as Arlene knows that she has something that Adam wants ... Adam: "No, no, no. Arlene doesn't matter. Listen to me. We're here together with the memory of that cabin and other cabins so close!" [Oh, you mean the one with the charred remains of someone you thought was your twin brother, where there was nothing left but Stuart's wedding ring and his mysteriously unscathed coat?] Adam (on his knees now): "Do you remember how we were? The way we made love? How we lost ourselves in each other?" Liza: "How could I forget? You videotaped it from 17 angles and burned it onto a DVD!" [Okay, she didn't say that last part] She remembers. For you Adam and Liza fans:

Adam: "When two people have the power to make each other feel the way we feel, everything else will sort itself out!" Liza whispers: "At this stage in our lives, though, Adam, how can you say that?" Adam: "Because you know it's true. I'm not talking about something that I have to promise or something that you hope is real. The connection that we have -- the connection we make is stronger than anything else in the world. When all of our feelings and our sins fall away, we are two people in the middle of an ocean, holding on to each other, knowing happiness as no other people ever know it!" Liza: "Adam --" Adam: "We haven't lost it, Liza. We never will. Ever. We're just wasting time. Say yes! Please!" There's a knock at the door and a steward enters without waiting for a reply [you just CAN'T get good help these days!] Despite seeing Liza sitting on the bed and Adam on his knees, either proposing, begging for mercy or about to go down on her, he stays the course and says he's been asked to let everyone know that Mr. Lavery is about to make a toast in the salon and would be pleased if everyone could join him. He apparently doesn't notice that there are enough candles lit to make the Queen Mary go up in flames. Liza says they'll be right there. She gets up and starts to leave, but goes back to Adam to hold out her hand and help him up. They leave smiling, hand-in-hand [AWWWWWW!!]

Arlene watches Palmer and Vanessa walk by (well, Vanessa is prancing, really), happy with each other, and she smirks.

A waiter asks Ryan if they should start serving the punch yet. Ryan tells him to wait a few minutes for stragglers. As the waiter leaves, Arlene stops him and asks if he knows where the main light switch is [oh, THAT'S not a suspicious question!] He's not sure and continues on his way.

Erica is now standing next to Ryan, who flatters her and tells her that the first cup should go to the most famous guest at the party. He hands a drink to Tad and says he's glad that the Martin family can be a part of the evening's success [they're the REASON for the party, you dolt]. Hayley interrupts him and says she'd like to get a few beauty shots for the show before everyone has drinks in their hands. Tad puts his cup of punch down on the table.

David tells Leslie that NOW is her chance to get Tad. GO! She obeys and he takes the flask out to pour. Adam and Liza walk down the stairs as Arlene is walking up. Adam stares at her, KNOWING he knows her from SOMEWHERE. Arlene spins and quickly walks across the room, bumping into David and causing him to drop the flask into the BOWL of punch, as opposed to Tad's glass. He quickly retrieves it with the ladle, but the Libidozone pours out in the process. He wipes the flask off and cleans up the mess, then ducks away past the cameraman videotaping the beauty shots.

The beauty shots over, Hayley tells the cameraman at least 3 times to shut it down. Ryan corrals everyone for the toast as a waiter ladles portions into cups. David watches helplessly from the side of the room and starts to sweat. [GREAT -- now 1/2 the town is going to be taking this dangerous drug and he's just going to LET them! Come one, come all (so to speak)! Gather round ye olde and infirm, pregnant and medicated! On the other, hand, I'm looking forward to Vanessa's response :-)] David declines a cup. Dixie is already sipping hers. Tad asks for another glass, commenting on how good it is.

Dimitri comes up to Erica and grabs her, asking if she's seen Alex. Erica: "Well, I'm sure she's off somewhere wreaking havoc--" Dimitri JUST wants to know if she's seen her. Erica says no. Dimitri leaves as Erica worriedly watches him. We see the bottom and train of a black dress as someone strides quickly along the deck next to the railing. The camera pans up slightly and we can see that Alex is actually wearing a wrap OVER dress (the wrap is big enough to cover New Jersey). She walks past a door where we see the bottom half of a man purposefully walking through it. We hear what sounds like a helicopter, but is probably the launch motor and Alex calls to Joe. She peers through the darkness as the mystery feet come closer to her. A man grabs her shoulder and she whips around to look at him, her expression unreadable.

Back in the salon, Arlene happily hands out cups of punch. Leo makes a show of grabbing a drink for Laura, his "sugerplum". Greenlee reciprocates, handing a glass to Bill and asking him to wait for the toast as she smirks in Leo's direction while caressing Bill's face. Erica hands Jack a cup and he thanks her, quipping that now HE'S famous. In a line that doesn't make it to closed- captioning, she says: "Oh, I never liked your [garbled]" Jack throws his head back and laughs [I think this WAS an ad-lib] Ryan yells for everyone's attention. He starts his toast to IncredibleDreams and Jake. Ryan: "... His work reminds us of community, which is why we're all drinking from one communal punch bowl. So let drink to community, to future, long-term and short, and may we all have a great evening full of surprises, and may all of your incredible dreams come true!" Everyone cheers, raise their glasses and drink. The camera pans around the room, showing all the key players drinking punch. Leslie walks up to clink glasses with Dixie and Tad and says "Cheers!" The camera lingers on Becca, who makes a quizzical face at the taste of the punch as she looks at Leo. Tad guzzles some more and glares at David. David smiles in delight at the sight of Tad tossing back copious amounts of punch, shakes his head mock ruefully and says: "Bottoms up, Pine Valley!" The camera pans past Palmer and Vanessa, then lingers on Hayley and Mateo, who are already nuzzling [so what else is new?]

ON THE NEXT AMC

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Ryan: "Let's get naked!" [Cheers] Gillian smiles.

Jack to Erica: "I just all of a sudden have all these feelings!

Greenlee jealously watches as Laura launches herself into Leo's arms for a big wet one.

Leslie breaks away from kissing a panting Tad: "I want you right here, right now!" Tad: "Ummmmm!"

David (to Dixie?): "Oh this is going to work. It HAS to!" Dixie looks at him like a scared rabbit.

Irreverently submitted,

Robin "I'll have what they're having" Coutellier

P.S.

Where is Opal? I would love to see what SHE would have worn to the party!