Friday Update
December 29, 2000
Part 2

ERICA'S HOUSE

Erica says she's already consulted Dr. McGrath [whom I picture as a gruff dog wearing a trenchcoat] Bianca asks if Erica expects him to deprogram her and says it doesn't work that way. Erica thinks it would be good for both of them if she goes with her. Bianca: "Mom, I understand that this is something that affects you very much, but what I am inside is not really up for debate!" Erica says of course not, but she has to LOOK at these confused feelings. Bianca says she's not the one who's confused. Erica: "I need to be sure of that." Bianca: "**I'm** sure!" Erica: "I know that's what you believe, but, Bianca, what *I'm* hearing is a cry for help. And I'm here! I'm here to help you with that!" Bianca: "Mom -- do you think that I would have chosen to be this way? I mean, don't you think that -- that I might like to be the way most other people are? I mean, it would be so much easier. Why wouldn't I want that?" Erica: "Well, that's what Dr. Mcgrath will help you find out." Bianca: "Mom, I'm NOT going to start liking men, not the way you think I'm supposed to." Erica, ever the center of ALL universes: "This belief of yours that you can't have a great relationship with a man -- it's all about not wanting to walk down the same path that I have. You look at me -- I've had one failed relationship with a man after another, and you say to yourself, 'uh-uh, not for me. I'm not going to do that! I'm going to choose another way.' And so you have, mistakenly. And Dr. Mcgrath can help get you back on track!" Bianca: "To happily ever after?" Erica: "Yes! Isn't that the goal, Bianca? Honey, please promise me that you will just think about what I've said. PLEASE." The doorbell rings, interrupting them. It's a deliveryman with a dress for Erica for the Crystal Ball. Bianca says she had forgotten all about it and hadn't even given a thought about what she would wear! Erica is shocked: "Well, honey, YOU'RE not going. Are you?" Bianca looks like she's been slugged in the stomach.

Erica fusses with the dress as Bianca says that they talked about going to the Crystal Ball before Christmas [I thought that, at that point, there wasn't going to BE one]. Erica says a lot has happened since then. Bianca: "You don't want me there?" Erica FINALLY remembers how Bianca feels about something and conveniently reminds her that she always said she HATED parties. Besides, this is an ADULT event [Oooh! What kind of party favors will they be handing out?] Bianca is taken aback: "You think I'm a child?" Erica says she is 16, so she's NOT a full-grown adult yet. Erica busies herself putting her coat on and suggests calling Myrtle to come over and spend some time with Bianca [a babysitter?]. Bianca coldly informs her that Myrtle went to Llanview to see her daughter. Erica sounds disarmed as she intently concentrates on buttoning her coat. Bianca asks if she is ashamed of her. Erica whips her head around: "What?" Bianca: "Is that why you don't want me to go to the ball with you?" Erica grabs her purse and starts waving her arms around like Dimitri: "Bianca, I was being sympathetic to YOUR feelings! I mean, I was trying to do what YOU like. I guess I was wrong AGAIN on that front." Bianca confidently chides her: "Don't do that, please." Erica cooly says: "Look, you do what you want to do, ok? I'll see you later." Bianca: "Where are you GOING?" Erica doesn't even look back as she tosses out: "I have an important errand to run. Bye!" Bianca looks cranky as she stares at the slammed door: "WHAT am I going to DO with her?"

[Have you ever seen the movie "Hairspray"? I now have visions of Erica returning with a doctor who is holding a whirling spiral and trying to hypnotize Bianca into liking boys :-)]

PINE VALLEY JAIL

Greenlee walks back over to the bars and asks if THAT's why he's acting so weird -- she did NOT push Laura over that boat! Leo yells at her to SHUT UP!!!! He KNOWS -- does she understand what that means? Can she stop lying to him for THREE SECONDS? Greenlee's brain is busy processing the situation and she raises her eyebrows, calmly and, with a slightly condescending manner, saying that she can see how mad he is and she can accept that-- Leo: "How NICE for you!" She protests that she LOVES him and he loves HER and that's all that matters! He asks what parallel universe she lives in -- she almost KILLED Laura! If that minister hadn't jumped in after Laura, she would have DROWNED! Greenlee cries that he DID, though and Laura is FINE! Leo yells: "Oh, 'she's fine.' Do you HEAR yourself?" Greenlee says she was DRUGGED! Leo: "Oh HERE we go!" He walks a few steps away. She insists she was, they ALL were -- she didn't want Laura to DIE! It was just an impulsive, drug-induced thing that she didn't even think about for 1/2 second. She just remembers being jealous of Laura hanging all over Leo and the next thing she knew ... well, she didn't MEAN it! Leo: "Oh, you didn't mean it? That's going to make a wonderful defense, Greenlee -- 'I didn't mean it, Your Honor.'" She flatly declares that she's NOT going to trial. He glares at her with disgust and says she can go to HELL for all he cares! She's shocked that he would say that and becomes very little-girlish. She says she hates the way that he's looking at her. She admits she messed up -- can't they come back from that? Leo explodes: "I ASKED you! I looked you in the eye, and I asked you! I promised you right there that no matter WHAT the answer was that I would live with it. I would help you. I wanted one honest moment of truth from you, Greenlee, but you kept lying to me over and over!" She mewls that she was afraid she would lose him -- can't he understand that? He says he CAN in some sick, co-dependent way -- it's the OTHER stuff that he can't wrap his head around. Greenlee, ever the center the of universe: "What other stuff?" He tearfully tells her that even if he could forgive her for lying to him and for lying to Laura, does she really think he could forgive her for abusing an innocent, vulnerable kid like Bianca, whom she KNOWS he considers to be like a SISTER to him? Leo: "Greenlee, you tried to ruin that kid's LIFE by blackmailing her to keep quiet! Like she doesn't have enough to worry about without you messing with her head! She has got more guts and more compassion than you could ever even hope to have! What is this, revenge? Because you have a mother who never gave a damn about you, so you try to take hers away from her?" Greenlee: "You know that's not true!" Leo: "Oh, do I? You were there with me when we walked in and we found her in that gay bar. You saw how terrified she was about being OUTED period, let alone to her MOTHER! What kind of a sick human being would go after somebody's biggest fear, Greenlee? How do you ever expect me to look you in the eyes again?" Greenlee desperately tries to explain that she did it because she loves him and wanted to hold on to him. Greenlee: "Can't you see? I'd do ANYTHING to keep you loving me forever!" [I notice that her head almost fits through the bars -- now THAT would be a great scene, having her head stuck :-)]

Leo tells her that she has a pretty twisted idea of love -- it's awfully familiar. She asks what he means. Leo: "Well, my mother could really relate to your idea of devotion." Greenlee: "DON'T compare me to Vanessa!" Leo: "Greenlee, you're just like her. Face it. You let Bianca take the fall for pushing Laura over the yacht just like my mother let me take the fall for killing her gigolo boyfriend. It's a pretty tight race on who's a bigger bitch." Greenlee starts crying and whining, saying she's not GOOD at this -- she's never been in love before! Leo: "Oh, more revisionist history? Wonderful." She guesses he's talking about Ryan and says she NEVER loved Ryan, but it took loving Leo for her to realize it. Greenlee: "I can't lose you, Leo, I CAN'T! Help me get out of here! Let me make it up to you! Let me fight for you the right way! I'll DIE without you, Leo!" Leo leans into the bars and bends down to her level, saying: "I'll DIE if I STAY." She cries and begs him to listen to her. He straightens up, reaches into his pocket and pulls out his keys, dramatically dropping them to the floor of the cell. Leo: "I will never set foot in that apartment again, do you hear me?" Leo: "Take care of Happy. Hopefully you can take better care of him than you can yourself." [And how is she supposed to do that from behind bars?] He walks out at she continues to cry and beg.

Greenlee covers her face as she cries and walks back to sink down onto the dreaded, vermin-infested, urine-soaked (in her mind) mattress. She rocks back and forth, keening at her loss. Derek quietly escorts Woodruff to the hall outside her cell. Greenlee tries to compose herself and snarls at Derek for calling her grandfather. She walks over to the bars, wiping her nose and eyes, telling him she never wanted him to see her in there. He calmly asks if she was drugged on that yacht. She fervently answers in the affirmative. He says that that will be her lawyer's defense and they'll get the charges dropped. She asks if he called her parents. He doesn't says yes or no. He takes a deep breath and merely says that they are in Switzerland. Greenlee: "They don't want anything to do with me, do they?" Woodruff starts to say something, but is at a loss for words, finally saying: "Let me go make sure your bail is in order." He walks out. Greenlee cries so hard that her knees buckle and she sinks to the floor. [I wonder why they put a toilet right next to the bars instead of on the other side of the room]

VALLEY INN

Tad says it's hardly a big deal. He had to give Leslie some bad news and she got all emotional and hugged him, that's all. Jake wants to know what the bad news is. Tad sputters a little, then says he had to tell her he was taking her off retainer at Chandler Enterprises, that's all. Jake belligerently says it's an odd thing for her to be hugging HIM about. Tad says maybe that's just her style. Jake says she's his lawyer and he knows that's NOT her style, that's why he's asking so many questions. Before Tad can respond, Leslie clops back and says Jake signed everywhere he was supposed to and they can move forward. She pleasantly says she hopes she'll see him at the Crystal Ball. He says he'll be there. [WHY? It's being hosted by his soon-to-be-ex-wife and the man she cuckolded him with for MONTHS. David Hayward will be there (drooling over Dixie, no doubt) to antagonize him, and everyone in town knows what happened. In fact, I don't think ANYONE except maybe Leslie, Ryan and Gillian are going to be happy to be there! What a crappy start to the millenium!] Jake throws a nasty "I'll catch YOU later!" to Tad and stalks off. Leslie, still unable to take a hint delivered by a crane and an I-beam, asks Tad if he'll save a slow dance for her. Tad just stares at her. He grimly says: "I don't want you talking to me and I don't want you talking to anybody in my family! The LAST thing I need right now is you hanging all over me at that Crystal Ball! You don't come anywhere near ME and you don't come anywhere near DIXIE. As a matter of fact, it might be better if you didn't come at ALL." Leslie pouts and says: "Look, I'm not trying to ruin your marriage, Tad. You've got it all wrong! If you would just be sweet to me --" she whines. Tad: "That's it! Enough, ok? ENOUGH. Now you're being DELIBERATELY dense [NOW?], and I can't DO this anymore!" He stalks off. Leslie gives a determined little moue, walks over to a couch, takes out her cell phone and places an order for a necklace she saw in the window. Her husband wants to buy it for her to wear to the Crystal Ball tomorrow night. She uses Tad's credit card (part of what fell out of his pocket earlier) to pay for it.

THE BOATHOUSE

David sensuously rubs Dixie's hands, never taking his eyes off of her. He throatily asks if that's better. David: "How about this?" He bends down and puts his mouth to within 1/8" of her hands and sensuously exhales on them with his hot, steamy breath. Dixie is having trouble breathing, in ZING-ZING-ZING kind of way. Suddenly we hear a boy talking about making 3 goals. Then Junior answers. Dixie realizes who it is and jumps up. She pulls David with her as they quickly climb a few stairs to get out of sight. The other boy and Junior stop just outside the boathouse and discuss the team efforts. Dixie and David alternately hold their breaths and breath hard. Dixie is humiliated and David seems to realize that, once again, he's put the woman he loves into a very uncomfortable moral position [he also looks like he wants to take advantage of her physical position by spooning with her].

After the commercials, the boys continue to talk, then finally go back the way they came, wielding hockey sticks. Dixie tells David she doesn't know why she didn't just say hello. David softly says: "Yes, you do. We both do, Dixie. How much longer are you going to go on pretending that this isn't right in front of us?" Dixie looks even more flustered and says that Tad is going to be looking for her and she has to go. She runs out of the boathouse. David steps down and watches her go, then tosses his gloves down in a "CURSES, foiled again!" manner.

ERICA'S HOUSE

VALLEY INN

PINE VALLEY JAIL

ON THE NEXT AMC:

*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*

Ryan makes the following announcement as we see Dimitri, Erica, Laura, Leo, Greenlee, Woodruff, Jackson and Bianca: "Princess Andrassy and I would like to welcome you to the fourth annual Crystal Ball!"

Liza to Adam: "I will marry you -- tonight!"

Vanessa to Hayley: "You're harboring some secret about Arlene, and I know what it is."

David holds Dixie's face in his hands, then passionately gloms onto her waiting mouth.

Irreverently submitted,